Pwa~ That was funny! ^^
Flan... and caramel. D:
Such aggravating memories. Could that be the source of your inspiration? o.O
The writing style was awesome and it was a decent length.
Fantastic! ^^

Not a bad shot, but improvements could be made. I liked the idea, and Derek was very much himself, but the layout and pacing was erratic and caused a little confusion. For example, the sentence commencing "The sun had long since set on the city..." felt very out of place; personally I felt this section would have been more comfortable at the beginning, followed by what you have as the beginning as explanation for his predicament. Some of your phrases seem awkward, and the use of "obtain" grows tedious.

The writing style of this sort of reminds me of mine. Heh...Dr. Stiles is such a klutz. Not too bad, but it could have been better by spacing out some of the paragraphs.