I thought this story was well written and very entertaining!(I bet you get tired of me saying that. Nah! Probably not.)

I was a little concerned about the rating, though. If I was you I would have rated this story "teen" too, but I'm not sure everyone would agree.

Firstly, I just have to say that this line:

“Oh…did we really do that?”

Made me have a (literal) face-palm moment in the very public dorm computer lab. Not because it was bad, but because it was so very Ash. And that made me smile.

Actually, this entire fic made me smile. I loved the time jumping you did-- the way you slowly explained what had happened and their relationship throughout the story. In that way alone it differed from my own: in my mind, Ash and Misty's first time in "Innocence" was sort of an unexpected fluke; your Ash planned this out like the devious little sex-hungry devil he is (haha), and it was all the sweeter for it. (His nervousness made me blush and coo; I don't know how Misty handles him!)

All in all, I thought this was wonderful. Sure, I could see connections between this my own story, but you gave me credit-- which is all I ask for-- and it was original enough that any complaints I could make (if I wanted to complain) would be uncalled for. In my mind, anyhow. So keep this up! As I've said before, ff-dot-net needs more good pokeshipping fics.

And as a final note-- "Flying Without Wings" equals pure awesomeness. And I love that it's on a Pokemon soundtrack. XD

This story was a little rough around the edges, but I LOVED how you flickered between time! That part was really well done!

Sorry I'm so annoying! *evil grin*

...Don't you think the title sort of gives it away, though?

I went and checked out Maiden of the Moon's fic (upon your recommendation at the end), and, to be honest, I do think your fic is too similar, which is why maybe pikagurl said below that it's 'missing something'. It's missing your own kind of touch, y'know?

I think that it's great to draw inspiration from other people, but there are many different directions you can take 'Ash and Misty's first time', and I think this one drew too much from the fic you read. :-)

you dont give urself enough credit it was very good

M...nice fic, although it could have used a bit more detail and just...I dunno, something more? I can't quite put my finger on it lol! Anyways, nice attempt at a mature/sexual fic and keep at it!