G'day Shadowgate31! Your first fanfic eh? Welcome to the fandom! There's no need to apologise for being new, we all start somewhere and writing otaku senshi fanfiction is so much fun! I offer all the help I have to give!

No, its nice to hear you like the fifth season but your story is very reminiscent of it to begin with. Thi could mean two things, the first is that your rewriting the fifth season with your senshi included, or that your writing a sixth seasn that is very similar to the fifth. It's your fic of course, but I don't recommend either of these as a way to start the fic. The reason being is that we've seen them before. Your otaku senshi fic will be joining a host of others, and just like when your watching tv, you get bored when you see too many shows that are all alike and don't like to watch the same thing twice.

Instead when you've got some free time, grab a notebook, sit under a tree and imagine all the possible ways and reasons a senshi needs to come to earth. If falling stars hve been done, what if it were a rainbow? Or what if they've always been on earth, hidden away in an icepalace in the north, captured by Queen Beryl and the Sol Senshi wake them up by accident. Possibilities as infinite as your imagination!

'Protecting the Princess' is done a lot too. If you need some help refining a plot I volunteer to be a wall you can bounce ideas off and a betareader. I read a lot of otaku senshi fanfiction so I know what's Mary-Sue (a term for fanmade characters that are cliche and over-powered that readers hate!). That's an easy way to really improve your writing quickly, reading as many otaku senshi fanfictions as you can. It improves vocabulary and really inspires new ideas that a potential reader hasn't seen before.


Now for the formatting of your fic, it's a little confusing because of the paragraphing of your dialogue. Don't worry, its really easy to fix up. For everytime a new person speaks, start a new line. For example,

-“Yes, last night there was a brief meteor shower that was completely unexpected,” Ami explained.

“Yeah, the news said that the next predicted meteor shower isn’t supposed to be for about another month,” Makoto added.

“Ah, and the ones I saw were all different colors,” Usagi piped in.-

See? Also do you see where I put the comma? When you write dialogue, instead of a fullstop/period you put a comma, however question and exclaimation marks stay the same.

My last little pointer is again one of those things you don't have to listen to, just my expirience. In your AN's you mention thirteen characters! And I suspect this means you'll be writing Zodiac senshi. Thirteen characters is a lot, that's thirteen people you have to flesh out, a lot for even an expirienced write and very, very overdone on the web. Go'wan, type Zodiac into the SailorMoon Search, or Sailor Zodiac into any search engine, like Google or Yahoo. You'll have a LOT of competition.

Instead take a page from the same book. The Sol senshi (Sailor Moon, Uranus, Pluto from Roman myth) The Starlights (Who are based on the creator, protector and destroy aspects in Hindu myth of Vishnu) are all based on mythology. There are lots of smaller groups you can base your senshi on. The time it takes to write thirteen so-so otaku senshi, you can spend on getting four just perfect!

You could write senshi based around the Furies from greece (Messengers of Hades/Pluto who he sent out to punish murderers and betrayers. Also called the Erinyes or Avengers. Imagine, Sailor Tisiphone, Sailor Alecto and Sailor Megaera) or the Graces (Goddesses of great beauty who hung around the Hippocrates with Aphrodite/Venus and Pegasus, often pictured with butterfly wings. Sailor Aglaea, Euphrosyne and Thalia.) Or even a pair (Amor and Cupid, brother and sister pair from Roman mythology as gods of love). There are lots of websites you can find and I have lots of mythological resources if you'd like a look.

Don't be afraid to start again, rewrites are the godsend to the fanfiction. Which ever happens, good luck on your writing ventures, cheers and inspiration,
Tucka