LUV it.

The characters are portrayed very accurate to the original story. Your story really drew me in, it cured me, being brain dead from studying so hard for my exam tomorrow.
Sorry if this review isn't very informative. Blame the books, blame the university and blame me for doing everything last minute.

This is pleasant and cool. Keep smiling. :-)

Thank you for sharing this interesting, and cool chapter. Keep smiling. :-)

O... evil! I like.

Thank you for sharing this chapter. Keep smiling. :-)

Thanks for sharing this interesting and cool chapter. Keep smiling. :-)

Lovely - good description of Sarah as seductress.

Am very glad to see that you're adding more and more new scenes. And I especially like how you write Hoggle. He's one of my favourite characters in the movie, and it's always nice to see him writen as an actual character, as opposed to a joke. Getting quite caught up in this, and this chapter was one awesome cliffhanger! Can't wait to see what Jareth's dream/fantasy will be. Hearty, hearty cheers.

Look, I'm enjoying the new bits quite a great deal [the Indians, the Hallway of Glass], so it's very disappointing whenever you just reverse to lifting dialogue and scenes straight from 'Labyrinth.' You're a good writer [a few typos here and there, but nothing a good beta/editor can't help you with], and this has great potential, so I'd love to see more original scenes--especially as Jareth's irreverence for the labyrinth [and especially the flashbacks to him and Irene, which are great] make him such an engaging character.

Gotta love angry Hoggle. One small critique, though. The use of the word "bitch" is throwing me. Not for any puritanical reason, but because, as an Englishman, Jareth would say "twat" or "tart" or "cow" instead. "Bitch" is a very American term, and it takes away from Jareth's character somewhat.

Very, very interesting idea [and I loved the painted elevator]. I was pleased by the fact that the Goblin Queen wears pants, as I was afraid that her being female would mean ethereal beauty and not much else. Heart cheers.

This has been an cool chapter. Keep smiling. :-)

I like Snape /Hermione stories.

Enjoyable chapter. Keep smiling. :-)

Lovely! Well done. "He could feel it in the pit of his stomach to the depth of his balls" - excellent, visceral description. I think the choice to condense Ludo's rescue and the Firies works well.

Looking forward to the next chapter... o! You gonna do a goblin queen and Hoggle encounter? That would be delicious.

p.s. nice Bowie biography reference at the start.

Good work - a few typos, but nice pacing on this one. I like that J, as a writer, is aware of the conventions of the narrative he is in and is starting to work with them. Not sure about the flashback... it seems like J has made a discovery, or is on his way to making one, but I'm not clear on what it is.