Wow. I don't know why, but you seemed to have surpassed the human standard of language. The way you write is so... poetic(yes, that was pointed out). Do you spend hours coming up with these sentences or do they just come to you naturally? I have no idea how you do this. Well, I'm pretty stunned. How do yo ueven find relevance out of such unconnected things? Bleh, this is giving me a headache. (That is good)

Poor Zeke o.O

Of course I had fun reading >.>

MY GOSH AN UPDATE I CANNOT CONTAIN MY GLEE AT FINDING THIS E

Okay. Time for coherent sentences. I really love the way this chapter was written, and the end, it only makes me want to read the next chapter. So much. What's going to happen? The suspense, the scream, what is this? O:

Can't wait for next update! FIGHT ON!

I didn't get a update alert on this chapter *grumble* Good thing I was checking.

A very interesting scene. At first, I thought Zeke had turned into a dragon. He sure blended in nicely there. Problem is I'm not sure what really happened when the wyvern fell. There was an explosion.. and er.. a magic rock.

The "atmosphere hardening" part was so neat. I like how you wrote the 4th job magic attacks as they are: full-blown catastrophes.

All right! You've mentioned the black magician somehow. It's like the story is evolving with the new maple plots.

Meh, it has been a long time since you last posted, so I sort of lost track of the story or somewhat.

Well, as usual, good writing. But did you invent your own language (s gibt ruhe in der Welt)? Wow.

My Gosh this is such an amazing chapter. Heck, it's an amazing fiction. The characters are both so..interesting to read, and your writing style is one of epic poets..or something. Hm, I don't know how to describe it but... it's always refreshing to read a fic like yours on this site. ;u;

May I look forward to the rest of these chapters, and MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. ..Meaning may you stay as awesome as this.

CAN THIS BE? O: Is this..what I think it is?
Is the bishop male?
Is Ryan male? (lol.)

I love you. :D

This...shall..be..favourited... When do you plan to update?

This..this is not crap! This is better than not crap. THIS IS..THIS IS.. One of the best MapleStory fics ever written.

Thanks you

UPDATE PIECE OF MY MIND PLAWKS >:3

I was reading this on my phone in class. Didn't get caught. Hahahaha.

One thing I noticed that your writing has in common (yeah, i looked at the other fics besides maple cuz someone told me ragnarok was cool): something I sometimes have too. I think you know what it is. Besides physical description.

I actually felt anticipation clicking for chapter three. I'm reviewing this as I'm reading by the way.
The way you described his husky voice was a bit backwards. The way you put the seductiveness of his first threw me off. Maybe you should switch it around or something. There wasn't enough emphasis on the 2nd part of that sentence. I'm concentrating too much on a tiny detail, but I do think that the voice part is very vivid.
O I love how you replayed the scene. One thing is that instead of repeating the exact dialogue, maybe you could have just gotten into his head and left it as that, like the "noticing the plain wand of mithril embraced by the Bishop" part. You can grab details from Ryan's view that the bishop would never have thought to mention.
The ending was so sweet. The whole hanging out with the gatekeepers scene was kinda cute; it adds to the boyish yet dangerous nature of this Ryan.

"Please take the time to think... thinking what a freaking lousy writer I am." That didn't make sense in more than one way. Your fanfic is starting to become my favorite MapleStory fanfic in all of the fics I've read so far.
I'm liking the ambiguos (can't spell!) personalities in your two characters so far, and what's more, the story is about the characters.
Your writing is amazing. But I'm trying not to blow you up into some sort of master of fanfic, haha.
By the way, is the wizard being killed for being a hacker of some sort? Anyway, it doesn't matter much.

P.S. I can see similarities between your characters and mine. What can I say... Great minds think alike. (Just Kidding!) But this one gave me the creepers. Both our main thief characters are ambidextrous. Again, this is an insignificant thought I just felt like mentioning.

I liked the last paragraph the best, especially the last line. Now that somehow struck me the most; I don't know why, but it did.

I hope you didn't think my first review was a flame.
Anyway, the beginning of the story was beautiful, once I read it over twice! The flow? It chopped up into different ideas each paragraph, and it looked a lot more like rambling than interpretation.
Oh yes I'm confused. Am I right in thinking that you're still introducing your character, because I still don't see the aim of the story. By the way, Doom turns monsters into blue snails not green, but then again you can't turn people into snails in game anyway.
Small thing- you spelled heart as heard in the last part of the chapter.
I don't really understand why Zeke is lonely. You emphasize his obsession(lol) with magic, but other than that, I don't see how he is a nobody. I think that's what I mean by exposition. You explain how something came into being, like the pathetic-ness of magicians, and I as a reader don't understand how that came to be. xD

Hmm I wonder how long this fic's gonna be...you spelled rogue wrong but other than that keep it up.

This is a really nice start. Your writing is excellent. The only problem for me is the interest factor. I hope this won't be some cliche... Some of the stuff bothers me, like how you create some imbalance in the world. I think of mages in MapleStory, and in no way do they resemble your version of magicians. Sure it adds tension into and otherwise uneventful happening...
The dialogue is a little too expositional to read carefully. I guess it's an easy way to set the story, but you can probably be more creative than that.

Pretty good. Can't really judge more from this 1k plus words, but i hope to see it being continued.

Yay, another epic in the making! :P

See, I reviewed, okay?

Good luck for EOYs. (: