   AnimeFTW
2008-09-24 . chapter 1THIS IS AN AWSOME STORY! I am so glad you decided to write it! It was brilliant in every way!
You didn't write what "Hen" meant. What does it mean? From how it was used, I think it means that it's a bachelorette's last party as a free woman before she gets married. How accurate am I?
How old is everyone in the story? The ages weren't stated, or am I just not looking hard enough? XD
The kunoichi were AWESOME! You even had Temari in the story, which is cool! They were all in-character, and extremely funny! I don't even know which one takes the cake in here. Who do you think takes the cake?
Where did Ino get the idea for the outfits? She sure has persuasive powers when it comes to the other kunoichi! XD
There were A LOT of funny situations in the story, and I laughed at this one:
..."And isn't that your ex-student Sakura Haruno over there with her?" He asked as his mouth gaped open and the ever-present senbon fell from the Tokubetsu Jounin's lips, hitting the table with a metal "tang".
The Sharingan Warrior's eyes snapped straight up at the sound of the metal clanging onto the table and onto the topic of conversation as indeed Konoha's Cherry Blossom, apprentice to the 5th Hokage, strolled from the bar to her seat wearing the shortest skirt Kakashi had ever seen on her and a tight white top that was clearly not the right size. He choked on the sake he had just been about to swallow, and Genma had to pat him on the back as the burning fluid went down his wind pipe instead of its intended destination.
"To much of a shock there, Hatake?" Genma asked once the fit had passed.
"Just a little. Was it really necessary to point that out? I would have been eternally happy to have never seen that, thank you very much." The ex-ANBU sighed out in exasperation.
He really didn't need to see the sight he had just seen of his ex-student, the one everyone considered so innocent dressed up in such a skimpy outfit, that not only seemed to be attracting the attention of nearly every male in the bar, including the ever-perverted Genma Shiranui, but was now imprinted on his brain, mentally scarring him forever, and causing a reaction to hit him that he knew he should never be having and had no desire to have. She looked damn good in the outfit and that was the problem entirely...
That was so fun to imagine! I could picture that so clearly, I was laughing at the screen!
Tsunade, Shizune, Kakashi, Yamato, Sai and Naruto REALLY sabotaged all of Sakura's dates! XD At least they did it for the right reasons!... I think. XD
Nobody knows what Sai's surname is? Since he has the First Hokage's DNA, wouldn't he be part of the Senju clan?
The dancing the kunoichi did was very energetic! It's no surprise that everyone was looking at them!
Kaisutchi Takanaru seems like a very nice person. If only the rest of the male species was like him... (Sighs) XD
I found another funny situation in the story! Here it is:
...As they watched Sakura move off with Kaisutchi to the dance floor, Genma chanced a glance to his left and the grin froze on his face, for the Copy Nin's face was a mask of pure malice- and that was just the small amount of Kakashi's face he could see. He had no doubt that could he see the entire thing, he would drop down dead, or quite possibly turn to stone, as the silver-haired Jounin's eyes were fixed upon the young couple now dancing wildly in fun.
He smirked upon seeing that look but did his best to cover it, for he had no wish to die at the Sharingan Warrior's hands. Nope, not one bit; in fact, he wouldn't wish that on anyone, well except maybe Orochimaru or the members of the Akatsuki...
I actually had to stop reading to laugh at that! I am going to remember that last part for a long time! You rule at romantic comedy! Keep it up!
I enjoyed the last part with the kunoichi and the toast. Wow, Ino pretty much summarized the situation while adding comedy to it! XD
The confession was so sweet! It was an "Aww!" moment. It took them awhile to figure it out, though! XD
Once again, your lemon was the best lemon I read all day! Once again, it was the only lemon I read today, but it would still be the best one if I had read more! Oh God... I'm blushing, and feeling flustered and warm... be right back (Runs off). I was so NOT taking a cold shower just now (sound effect: water dripping from hair). Darn water-dripping sounds!
This story was shorter than a normal chapter from you. I'm not complaining, it was something that I noticed.
Take your time with "Plans of the Hokage"! Quantity does not make a story good; it's the quality, which will NOT be good if you rush to get it done.
Regarding your PM- if you find any evidence (I still believe you, just so you know), tell me through a PM or a Review Reply, so I can see for myself.
As always, I look forward to more of your work! |
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