Your story is pretty good, but I think you could be more detailed. Also I have no clue what your character looks like, you didn’t put in a description of her. I think you could have waited a bit longer to get Sasuke to confess his love, but if you got something planned out then go for it.

I have to say I don’t like Temari’s nickname, I don’t know why but it just feels...weird...when I read it, it feels like it’s another OC of yours in the story.

Try to separate your comments from the story with an actual line. If you don’t know how then just put you comment/rant in bold and only your comments, the story can be left normal.

If you’re going to do a time skip or scene change then you can just put it like - Time Skip - or something like that, no need to put LINEBREAK over and over.

What else...oh yea don’t forget that Sasuke is more of a jerk then anything (really ansty), make sure you get him to show some attitude towards others later on to prevent him from being OOC, or put some kind of warning in your story description, some people get bothered by it, or so I've read.

Don’t feel rushed to add another chapter right away, take your time and only add it when you feel that it’s done.