“Hmm. Interesting...Strange dream you had there Lois.”

...What?! *mind blown*

~soaring-bright-flame

...I'm pretty sure my mind just exploded (or imploded, I'm not sure) at the sheer amounts of fantastic awesome condensed into this chapter. Actually.

There is one thing though (I notice you've been asking for critique at the bottom of your chapters...so I hope I'm not coming off as a total b*h when I give advice >^<)

The only thing is this: (example)
[...of the structure to collapse.”

“After I spoke with the police earlier...] When you want to break paragraph when someone is talking, but then continue talking in the second paragraph, you take out the first ending quotations. So it would look like:
[...of the structure to collapse.

“After I spoke with the police earlier...]

This just lets the reader know that it's the same person talking. Otherwise it gets kind of confusing as to whom is speaking. That's all!
Other than that...I'm in love with your style of writing. Very passionate scene, I loved Lucy walking in on them at the end...fantastic.

~soaring-bright-flame

You make me happy. ^^ This story makes me happy.

I love the progression up to Lois's realization about her crush, spanning over several chapters...very nicely done. Not like a lot of other fics where it's suddenly like BAM OMG I LOVE YOU. Very smooth progression.

I also love how you narrate Lois. It's perfect, exactly her...

*scuttles off to next chapter*

Soaring-bright-flame

Wow. Woww.

You said this is your best chapter, and I wholeheartedly agree. Fantastic. You almost had me in tears at some points ;)

The arguments (particularly the first one) between Lois and Richard were exceptionally well done. I salute you ^^

You've successfully hooked me on this story...

~soaring-bright-flame

*claps*

Exciting! Very cute. I like it. My only suggestion? Perhaps use a bit more contractions...expansions are good for essay writing, but when you use them too much in story writing it makes the speakers/narrators sound kind of formal and strange.

Over all, very good! I can't wait to read more ^^

~soaringbrightflame

fantastic chapter!
really looking forward to the next chapter, so update soon!
looks like next chapter is the one we've all been waiting for...

Wow. Major cliffhanger!
Can't wait for more! Loving this story. =]

I love it!
And I just had to start reading this story right on the biggest cliff hanger.
Keep it up!

So, Clark meets Brainiac. I liked that interaction. Too bad, Clark can't read minds.

Oh, dear god, no. He knows about Jason.

Oh, I like the teaser for the next chapter!!

Oh, yes, the talk. I liked it a lot. Difficult decisions all around, and of course the inevitable interruption. They can't catch a break, can they.

Lois' outbursts ... excellent. I hate gossips, and they're talking within earshot? Stupid people.

Poor Richard.

Thanks for another excellent chapter.

Playing catchup on my fic reading today!

Read both Chapter 12 and 13 - and the mystery is really deepening here... all the way to the meeting of Fine and Clark. Great scene! I also loved the way sparks flew between Lois and Clark. Next chapter promises to be quite a doozy. :)

Evil future cliffie -- good one!
Sorry for my lack of reviews -- I'm still here, but RL has been tough.
Can't get over your swift updates! Bet you type faster than I do:)
K

Can't wait to find out how the dinner goes! Is Martha going to go all awesome-seamstress on us and make the old black suit look like something out of GQ? ;)

brilliant, can't wait for ur next update. good job

Sorry, am a habitual lurker but I just wanted to say how much I'm enjoying this story so far. You strike a really engaging balance between the story (or 'bad-guy') plot and the relationship plot. Great work so far, looking forward to more!