I love your story so much! Please can you update and mention me in the next chapter, i really think your the best Twilight fan writer there is and this story got me hooked on and theres onlt 3 chapters lol. pretty please with sugar on top and a cherry too? Can you update soon because every day i come on here just to find out if you have updated and it never is. I can't get enough of your writing so can you
Love you and you ROCK!
DiversityDream

It'll be interesting to see where you go with this, because it's so much like Superman, so you've gotta add some cool plot twists to make it more like Twilight and less cliche. But I like it so far.

Superman! haha. I really like both Superman, and Twilight, though, so this could definitely be something I read loyally.

This is really making me think 'Superman'. Maybe it's because Meyer made some comparisons between the two a few times. But anyways, I like it.

i love your idea. please update this story. you're doing a wonderful job on it so far.

Please update, i need more!

Love the new story! LOL I need something to read, so update soon!
-Aeieo

Who! keep up the good work

awesome! XD
xxzoxx

great! XD
xxzoxx

great! :D
xxzoxx

Oh my goodness!
This is getting interesting!
Write more, please!

I like the idea, but I think your writing is a little bit boring. You need to vary the sentence structure to make your writing more exciting. Here's an excellent example of the boring sentence structure:
"I told him where spare laptops were and he got one out. Then I gave him one of my easiest assignments. All he had to do was write a few sentences about a brand new store that opened. I figured that he would spend a bit of time on it. Most people spent twice as long on their first assignment as they did on all others."
Pay attention to the way every sentence is constructed the exact same way. You're not varying the way you write them. Look at how I can change it up and make it more exciting:
"With a wave of my hand, I gestured to the drawer where the spare laptops were kept and he got one out, opening it and setting it on his new desk and plugging the power cord into the wall jack. "For starters, work on this," I said, handing him a sheet of paper with my scribbled notes about the opening of a new electronics store on 58th Street. I didn't think he would bother me for a while after that—newbies generally took twice as long on their first assignment as they did on all the ones after that, which was why I had given him the simplest assignment on my desk. "Under thirty words," I instructed, and he nodded wordlessly as he pressed the Power On button on the laptop."

WOW this was realy good. I just love it so much! Keep up the good work.

AMAZING! please write more, that is a really good story