Alright. After reading through the chapter split into three parts, as well as this newest piece, let's see if I can say what I want to say in a way that's both convincing to you and does not put me in a position of ridicule.

First, characterization. You made the same mistake as you did in previous chapters, AGAIN! Let's think about this, and I mean REALLY think about this: you just had Link get involved in the biggest blow-up of his life, to the point where he's letting out years of pent-up anger, and yet not once was there any mention of what he went through. The most you said was "He couldn't see straight, Ganondorf did that, blah blah blah..." Seriously, if you want to convince me that he's building as a character, the least you could have done was get inside his head and show us his thoughts. So why on earth was there zero, count it, ZERO mention of any reflection upon the events? Even if Link doesn't reflect upon the events, you would think those seeing the battle would see it, right? Nope, nothing there, nothing but talk talk talk and trying to avoid monsters in a desert.

Next, description. The scene where Yuan and his troops were discussing what to do, the scene was planned out horribly. I couldn't envision a single thing in this sequence. All I saw was a fat guy, a bald guy, some other guys, a lady or two, Yuan probably seated at a desk, arguing over what to do. Then suddenly, Yuan sprouted wings and gave everyone a shock. Can you go into a bit more detail please? I mean serious description, as in telling me what the room was like, where the people were positioned, the expressions on people's faces when Yuan revealed his identity and Cruxis' past. Considering what a bombshell this was, exposing the dark secrets of Cruxis, you might think they're a bit more shocked. Remember in the game when the Renegades resuced Colette at the Tower of Salvation the first time around, how confused the team was when Raine pieced the puzzle together that Desians and the Church of Martel were one in the same? I barely got 10 % of the suspense in here, so you tell me what to believe.

And if you are to respond to my review (not that I expect one, given your busy schedule), please note: any attempt by you to label me as a mean-spirited troll bent on shredding your story in half will be ignored. I made it very clear last time that I was a believer in tough love and I'm not afraid of teeing off on you. I had to withstand my pieces being torn apart by my English teacher in front of the entire class, and that's what turned me into the writer and person I am today. So if you're going to threaten our friendship, let me say this: friendship is a very difficult bond to break, and true friends are willing to at least listen to each other and concede some points to each other. I've already conceded lots to you, so perhaps it's time you start reflecting upon your own actions here, and at least consider my position before you get defensive and shoot me down.

Thank you for your attention.

This story is starting to sound similar to another ToS/LoZ crossover. You're not ripping off that story, are you?

Anyway, good chapter.

I'm glad you updated so fast, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

This story is AWESOME! Can't wait for the next chapter...

I know Link is being a wuss right now but is this the chapter where he gets some character development and sucks up his patheticness.

He's like Emil and I hated him because he was a wimpy protaganist.

Ah yes, the bullied kid snapping. Never ends well. Though I can understand his feelings. To get beat down again and again, to know you're powerless, to try and try and try and yet you always fail, you always end up in the corner sobbing trying to ignore the pain. Then you start thinking about why they're doing this to you, and how they would feel, you wish someone would do it to them. Then you want to do it to them, you want to shove it in their face and make them feel everything they've made you felt, make them suffer what's only a fraction of the hell they've put you through...

Then eventually you either snap, or you stand up. The second one is far more difficult, mind you, but it's the only way to truly make yourself better than what you were. Just standing up is revenge, because it proves them wrong.

...WOAH. Okay, that aside XD Yeah..sorry about that...:( I just...nevermind.

I just hope Link comes to grasp that. And by God I love that TOD thing :D

Yay! Good! Update!

n.n Nice. I quite like your doctor who's name I can't spell :D As usual, well written, but you used the wrong 'your' in there once I believe n.n

First off, a positive note. For someone who claimed to have lost inspiration to write this sucker, and then having to pick it up months after where you left off, you did fairly well. The story's flow is still there, and while I find characterization still a little weak, I think the mistakes aren't as prominent as before.

Now, the bad news. Have you considered how the flow of this story is going so far? After writing 8 chapters, 6 of which you revised mainly because I so-called "tore a strip into you," have you gone back to the beginning and checked the pacing? Because if you look at it, you'll see that pacing has become your biggest enemy. You realize that for 8 chapters, very little as been done to truly advance the plot.

Let's point out a few areas. First, Superman Link. Here is the second appearance of Superman Link, 4 or 5 chapters after the first appearance. Technically speaking, you had one appearance with no explanation of why or how it appeared, make it mysteriously disappear, and reappear again. Don't you find that unusual? When someone goes berserk, no one says a thing for 4 chapters, and then it reappears, isn't that too coincidental? You need to have justifications for what you wrote and why you wrote it, and quite frankly, your pacing and your overall story-telling method is making this story choppier than it needs to be.

Likewise, Genis, Link and Zelda, falling into the crevasse and then reappearing like nothing happened. Ch. 4 they were still finding their way out of the hole. But there was no mention of them in Ch. 5, with the focus switching to Colette being kidnapped (which BTW, was the ONLY event of note in that chapter). Ch. 6 was nothing more than Yuan and friends cussing out their machines, and it wasn't until the middle of Ch. 7 when we refer to these three again. And even then, it wasn't well done, as you may imagine there being some worry over what happened and people trying to figure out what's going on. No, you had Lloyd and Genis playing with a kendama while Zelda making a half-@$$ed apology to Link (which was totally unacceptable). Don't you think you should at least try to have the characters figure things out? Don't you remember Lloyd's first visit to the Tower of Salvation and they were saved by Yuan? They were tryng to figure out what the Desians were all about, not messing around with a kendama and pretending nothing happened.

Perhaps what's needed right now is a re-prioritization of events. You need to look at your gameplan and see what is really needed, and what should be removed. To me, you're relying too heavily on dramatics and flowery language and not enough on substance and content. The entire pacing of this story is way too slow, to the point where some people are saying: "Get on with it already!" If you were effective with your writing, you could have shortened these 8 chapters into less than 5 chapters. I know you mentioned in the past that the events of this story will be slow, as you had a lot to write, and you told me to be patient and wait for the things to resolve themselves. But if this was the case, then I honestly say it feels like you don't want things to solve themselves, at least not yet. If in 8 chapters your progress is minimal at best, then it's not the case of patience, but inefficiency. You need to find a way to make your ideas be better portrayed, have the flow less choppy, and be more economical with your scenes. If you can't say what you need to say and progress the plot at key moments, then people will walk away from this story, plain and simple.

And those are my comments. You take them for what they're worth.

I'm glad you're updating now! Keep on going!

Finally! Thanks!

Awesome chapter, did Farone possess link or something?

OMG YOU'RE ALIVE! (glomp-tackles you)

n.n And the chapter was quite intriguing, I wonder why Yuan reacted so strongly...and the exebelas are interesting too...

Oh so intriguing! n.n

u are good. real good. why did u stop. i like how link isn''t link, but now i wonder who will be the eternal swordsman, him or lloyd? O da suspicion! but yea great story but bad place to end it. deuces!

This story is EPIC! I'm curious about Whathappend to Link, Zelda, and Genis. Are they just outside the Martel Temple or did they get teleported to Hyrule? And what's gonna happen when Ganondorf meets Mithos as Lord Aganhim? I'm realy excited!