All righty then...constructive critsism? You don't need any! Its really good. Jiraiya is so cool...WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?! I DON'T HAVE FANGIRL FEELINGS FOR HIM! *shifty eyes*

Hehe, I laughed in both chapters, it's good keep it up and I might favorite the story!

cool please update and good luck thanks.

hi awesome story and chapter please update soon. do you or your friends like to draw? can you or some of your friends please draw your OC and some scences from the story. do you like making videos on youtube dot come? if you have time can you or some friends please make a fanfic trailer of your story? please? you don't have to if you don't want to. is it a good or a bad idea? please e-mail me when you put the next chapter up. thanks and good luck. please keep on updating and thanks for finaly puting this story on i apperciate it.

ps:ALL OF THESE STORIES ARE ON FANFICTION DOT NET. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE ANIMES ARE ABOUT GO TO WIKIPEDIA DOT ORG. do you like the anime called fullmetal alchemist? here is a fullmetal alchemist story that needs reviews. here is the tittle and summary and the person who wrote it.
Differences Made By:alchemichelper101
With her unusual visions and burning determination, a girl managed to get herself into the world of the Elric brothers, Shambala. All she wanted was to stop their human alchemy, to save them from a horrible fate she saw...EdXWin AlXOC betareading going on
Fullmetal Alchemist - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 49,476 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 11-9-08 - Published: 1-5-08

here are some more stories if you want to read them and review them.do you like the anime called sailor moon and ronin warriors? if you do there is a person on fanfiction dot net who needs reviews for the story. that person is sparklingdmnd . if you have time can you please come and read the sailor moon story and sailor moon x-over story and review per chapter. you don't have to if you don't want to. if you don't know what sailor moon or what ronin warriors is about go to wikipedia dot org. it should tell you just about everything. please tell your friends and family about this story. here is the tittle and summary:

Loyalty and Love By:sparklingdmnd
Minako thought that her destiny would be to remain alone. Her title, Senshi of Love, a cruel irony. That is until she met the contrast to her powers and the match for her heart. These things she found in a Warlord. Sailor Moon/Ronin Warriors. [Sailor Moon X-overs]

The Moon Princess Chronicles By:sparklingdmnd
During Silver Millennium. What if Princess Serena had become Sailor Moon during Queen Beryl's attack on the moon? Would the outcome of the future have been different? S/D [sailor moon]

ps:hi again. the animes that i told you about which were inuyasha, mythical detective loki ragnarok and paradise kiss. if you want or have time here are some more stories if you want to read. you don't have to if you don't want to. please tell your friends and family on fanfiction dot net about these stories. the first one is a inuyasha story written by beautifulwarrior95. here is the tittle and summary
Inuyasha: rewritten! By:beautifulwarrior95
One half-demon. One demon slayer. Two warriors who lost everything join forces to track down an evil master mind to avenge the people they care for. They will meet new enemies and friends on the way, and overcome their destinies.** Inu/san **
Inuyasha - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 96,657 - Reviews: 82 - Updated: 11-20-08 - Published: 9-10-08

the second one is a mythical detective loki ragnarok story written by MoonlightsPath. on fanfiction dot net the tittle is going to be in japanese which is matantei loki ragnarok. here is the tittle and summary:When Strategy met Creativity By:MoonlightsPath.
Heimdall is just one unfortanate god with a goofy partner, and unsecessful plans to kill Loki. But once he meets Tsuki Yonaka, the tables will turn... HeimdallxOC first Loki fanfic, plz review.
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Fiction Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,452 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11-11-08 - Published: 11-1-08

the third one is a paradise story written by KyokaRain. here is the tittle and summary: November Numbers By:KyokaRain
George's New Life, New business, And accountant, Honey his 24 year old accountant is getting more for she could ever ask for as George takes a fancy to her, but she has a way out.. but will she use it? George X Honey oc Read And Review.
Paradise Kiss - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 468 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-6-08 - Published: 11-6-08

if you like wolf's rain here are two stories. the first one was written by Demonic Flavor. here is the tittle and summary: Dark Skies:
This darkness that I reside in...Will I ever be free from it? Or am I destined to let my feet lead me to nowhere under these dark skies? We shall see...KibaxOC sucky summary, though great story...I'm hoping...
Wolf's Rain - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,358 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 11-19-08 - Published: 11-13-08

the second one was written by SaeLee. here is the tittle and summary:Cry Out, Stray:
Both were strays. Both needed somebody. One was the key, the other was her protector. They needed to find each other. They would. Love unfolds. Kiba X OC.
Wolf's Rain - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,931 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-24-08 - Published: 9-24-08

if you like code geass here is a story to read and review:Love Is My Pain by Rolo Lamperouge reviews
She would kill for him,the way he kills for Zero. Maybe then, she would mean something to him. OCxRolo? FULL SUMMARY INSIDE! MAY CHANGE TO M FOR VIOLENT THEMES, ETC. LOTS OF ANGST!
Code Geass - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-10-08 - Published: 11-10-08

Is this where I belong? auther:CrazyisMe » reviews
A female Kira story. Crossover with Gundam Seed and Gundam 00. Will the Gundam 00 universe be the same with the Ultimate Coordinator? How will the outcome change?
Gundam 00 - Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,928 - Reviews: 92 - Updated: 12-7-08 - Published: 9-28-08

Omg! this is so awesome! There's not many stories on here about Jiraiya and it breaks me BUT YOURS IS SO AWESOME! -glomp-

oh..please continue your story...it's really good.
jiraiya is so funny. hahaha...man-girls...

I love this story!! Jiraiya is my favorite character in the whole series. please update soon.