I love the play of the words you used! The entire time Hiei doesn't know if he's being teased or insulted.

I love little vignettes that occur between scenes. Well done! (And thanks for noticing that shirt thing too. What -is- it with Hiei and his strip-teases?)

This was really cute. You have Hiei's character down, he speaks exactly as he should speak. And I liked that Hiei thought Shizuru's cigarettes were a dishonorable way to use fire.