Oh. Poor Yero. I do hope his life turns out happy; perhaps that he'll find Elphaba someday. This was lovely reading.

Absolutely loved it!

I loved the sudden end, I thought this story would go on for some more time, but im very cliched that way.

Loved it. Ho[e you can updat SKDT sometime soon!
xo.

Very nice ending, Twin. I'm actually kind of glad there was no mushy "And Fiyero and Elphaba reunited and they had sex for about eighteen chapters and had lots of cute little babies and there was no sign of him being a Prince(other than being wealthy) or her being a terrorist".

I've been burned a couple too many times, haven't I?

xoxox
Tiggy

I was reading this just last night and wondered when you'd update...I like this one.

Chuffrey, however, is spelled as I just wrote it.

Glad to see that you updated. Keep up the good work!

xoxox
Tiggy-Twin

This is great! I can't wait for more. By the way, I get the feeling that the cook comment was a cover and that the oil is for Elphie, right? Right? Oh I hope so. It'd be so great if Elphaba and Glinda became friends again (and please let Elphaba be a good loving mother to Liir, I'm sick of stories that are too much like the book where she is indifferent or cold).

Looking forward to an update!!

Avaric, part of the resistance? Interesting...it can work, I suppose. He's a good person, in spite of himself; indeed, Horrible!Avaric has all the substance of Fiyero's gorgeous and hereditary blue eyes.
And while I pity poor Yero, at least he didn't run into Elphie within a few months, hug her, *insert Fiyeraba fest here*, and live happily ever after. We do need our depressing endings here--oh! Maybe I'll kill...no, I like them too much...I don't know. Anyway--very nice.

Okay. First thing I noticed was something I personally hate: capitalising verbs of speech, and capitalising pronouns that follow dialogue (‘“What is it?” He muttered’ should read ‘”What is it?” he muttered.’). The dialogue and the following phrase form a complete sentence together.

The same goes for phrases in brackets. Even though the idea in brackets is separate to that of the whole sentence, it’s still part of the sentence, so it doesn’t get a capital.

Sarima’s “What took you?” grated a little; I’d chooses either “What kept you?” or “What took you so long?”

“He never really did” sounds like caring for Sarima was something he could chooses to do, and chose to not. I think what you mean is “he never really had”.
“He survived the failed attacks of Lurlinemas Eve, he can win anything now. He found himself climbing up one of the towers, he knew there was a room there, originally meant for a sentry in his father’s time, but they were at peace now, so it would be where he would hide, where he can mourn Elphaba without anyone interrupting him.” – I’m going to adjust this whole paragraph. I’d suggest:
“He had survived the failed attacks of Lurlinemas Eve; he could win anything now. He found himself climbing up one of the towers. He knew there was a room there, originally meant for a sentry in his father’s time, but they were at peace now. So it would be where he would hide, where he could mourn Elphaba’s death without anyone interrupting him.”
You see what I did? The two “can”s I changed to “could”, and I broke up the second sentence a little more. Other wise it seems like you don’t really know where it’s going. Shorter sentences seem more controlled.

I hope all this helps, my dear. Let me know.

Very good chapter, Twin! *so little time hence short review*

xoxox
Tiggy

Good story. I like how Avaric has a crush on Elphaba lol. Please update soon!

*gives emphatic thumbs-up to posting rough chapters*

Love this loads!

I pick the fluffy chapters :) x

"A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement."

First off, I don't remember the review thingy being so... cliche before. Did it say something else?

OK, I will give the gift of a well-rounded critique... no I won't, cause it was great and I can't think of anything at the moment to improve upon. Except I do have a desire to see some Fiyero/Liir Daddy/son fluff.

There. That was almost constructive. I tried..

xoxox
Tiggy

Very nicely done. As for the ending...can I choose C, all of the above?

aw that was rather cute and all the wile fabulous. =]=]=] I really dont mind the ending, as long as you as a writer are happy with it, I'll be happy to read it =]=]=]=]