This was brilliant. I have to admit that I loved the description of Tohma and the line between brother-in-law and NG president. The description of this story, overall, was fantastic.

That was great!

.:~Pandakins~:.

Oh I love how this is very much in tune with the manga and how in just a few words you portray much of Yuki's character. The manga does give us glimpses of this side of him but writing from his first person point of view, you delved deeper and gleaned a more rounded and more intense character; unpredictable enough to be an interesting read.

I just loved the part where he rolls his eyes at himself - that is so Yuki!

It was very clever how you took the theme of "Gravitation" in Yuki's thoughts of Shuichi - a force that pulls everyone in, and how you wove this with Yuki's dependency of the clingy Shu just as the clingy Shu is dependent of Yuki.

Yuki's fear of Shuichi's "metamorphosis" in character (turning stonger, more confident) and his hatred of concerts for such a reason is a most insightful depiction, and I think you did an exellent job writing this.

And I just thought the little smile he couldn't contain at the end was sweet as hell! KAWAII! LOL Great job!

Small, but utterly perfectly formed. I just love how you write for Gravitation, you make the Yuki/Shuichi much more convincing than in canon. This perfectly captured the relationship between the two, and your Eiri is just so right. Sometimes, in canon, it's hard to see why Eiri would put up with Shuichi, but this... this is just IT.

You've captured the very essence of the characters, and their motivations. The two sides of every character, the complexity of them. The two sides of Eiri, the two sides of Shuichi - even Tohma (in just a sentence or two). Eiri's insecurity...

It's not just what's written, but the way it is written is so poetic without being sappy. Because, let's face it, this is from Eiri's point of view, and isn't he just the least sappy character we know? The writing is just so alive, and charged, and matches the subject of the story completely.

The thing I like about this best, is that now I know when I go back to read the original manga, it's going to seem deeper, it's going to make much more sense, because I've read this. It's like in insight.

I love this glimpse into Yuki's mind, and I love how he needs Shuichi as much as Shuichi needs him!
This is a fantastic character study--great job!

Aw... fuzzies!! You're really good at writing from Eiri's POV. I love it! And I love the way he tries so hard to hide his feelings but finally gives himself a little in front of everyone but Shuichi! Talking about Shuichi, your descriptions of him on stage are really nice. I can picture the whole scene in my head! And I really do believe Eiri actually likes to be broken into a million pieces... :)
Ps. i understand him so much, i hate concerts too for exactly the same reasons! Except Paul McCartney's one, because I was among the crazy screaming fangirls, hehe!

Well done! Yuki's POV was 'spot on'. You showed his love for his 'brat' without becoming overly sappy and keeping him very much IN character.

that's so sweet!!