I hope you someday go back and edit this story.

Plotline: First-rate. Fantastic. Loved it. Can't say enough about it.

Grammar/spelling: Ummmm...much less so. Many areas need improvement, but the most egregious was your use of I/me/myself. And before you say that many of the offenses were within dialogue, I would remind you that you spent the entire story showing us the true intelligence Harry and Hermione had, only to make them less than fully literate. That argument simply does not compute.

Still, the excellence of the story sufficiently outweighed the mistakes as to (easily) qualify it for my H/Hr C2 of finished stories.

This story is awesome. You definetly wrote a good fanfic.

Somehow I missed this one, one of a yahoo group I am in reminded me of it. Awesome job dude. I love the storyline and parts had me giggling, going Awwwwwh! and saying so that is why. I love your portrait of Severus Snape, your Weasley bashing was spot on. The Shadow Proclomation had almost doing a spit take on the computer! I love it when other fandoms creep in. Harry did better than Rose did. I love this story and thanks for sharing!

first time i'm gonna review anything, but this was brilliant, a great spin on HP. the portrayal of snape and dumbledore were pretty good, especially after all the bashing i've read :P. but the take on umbridge was brilliant. and i loved the autism twist, great great idea. only issue was a little too much weasley bashing. could've lightened up a little on them, poor guys. haha. but really, my best read so far

Brilliant Story !

A very interesting take on the Potterverse. I'm quite fond of Nice!Severus. I'm also a big fan of TimeTravel & Super!Harry. The nice!pretty!Umbridge is something I've never seen so kudos on that.

I didn't mind the WeasleyBashing, but I didn't like that the twins were included in that. I like it best when Ron, Ginny & Molly are the 'bad apples' and Fred & George don't know anything about it. That's just me though. :)

All in all a very interesting read. Cheers.

An interesting story - rehabilitating people like Umbridge and Snape, and for that matter, Dumbledore. But I was squicked in the early chapters. Prepubertal sex play happens all the time (indulged in it myself when I was young) but you got too detailed for my taste.

Sex is hard to write: it happens in parts of our nervous system that don't translate too well into words. When we do it as kids, it isn't even something we can remember well once we have an adult mind.

A gas. Really enjoyed the read.

I absolutely love this story. I have just finished reading it for the 4th time and can't get enough of it. It is very well written and kept me wanting to read more of it. Keep up the good work.

-Sighs happily- I have to say, this story is one of my new favorites. I loved every single second of the time spent reading it. The way you wrote it was, to put it simply, amazing. I hope to read many more great fanfic's done by you.

I love how you changed very little of canon while simultaneously re-writing the whole thing. It was incredibly interesting and endlessly entertaining, so much that interrupting it for work seemed horribly unfair. The only thing that I wish you'd done differently was the amount of Obliviations done on Ron. There were times when they talked about private things in front of Ron and then Obliviated him when they could have just avoided him. It was funny at first, but towards the end it began to jar me whenever it happened. Love Percy's inserted proclamations and complaints though. It made me giggle every time he played the stupid politician. Thank you for giving us this gift!

This is my favorite story that I have found, thank you for entertaining me.

This story should have been Rowlings version. I mean it is much better. In a way her version was CRAP and should never have been written.

-Mark ( Plymouth, UK )

Perfection :) I usually don't like Harmony fics but this was awesome! :)

Oh yeah, that was good.

What a great story!

I can't believe I just read all of that. And in one go. Damn, I was supposed to be revising for my Math Test tomorrow, but this sure as hell beats any revision. My mind feels, well, clear. Like everything is ordered and neat. Oh yeah, about the fic. Completely Brill, except it's Patronuses and not Patroni. I agree 'bout Hedwig, loved the nickname Ripples and was ACTUALLY squealing (my sister and boyfriend think I'm a wierdo) about how WONDERFUL Batman and Dee were. I loved the idea! Cheers!

L.L

Three words to start: Totally. Epic. Story.

Seriously. I loved every bit of it. Since I enjoyed it so much I'm going to be giving your other stories a read as well.

Amazing, simply amazing.

One of the best H/HR stories I read and even if Hermione was pretty OOC (in my opinion) it was still believable. Great story

Mm. Not often I read a true bash-fic that's actually GOOD.

So props, and mad ones, there.

In addition, not only having both Snape and UMBRIDGE of all people be truly 'good' was not only a stroke of genius, but done so convincingly that I'll probably have trouble thinking of them as 'evil' for months- or longer.

No, really, that's... Wow. lol

Thanks for the excellent read. :D

Haha, the Shadow Proclimation? Haha *snort* very Time Lord of you.

I really enjoyed your story, you seemed to explain away everything, nice and neatly with liberal use of obliviate. Haha (I'm pretty sure Ron's brain is addled from it)

A nice Snape is a change, The Batman? Grandpappy Firebird? Grantabby? Hahaha.

Oh well, made me laugh anyway.

My favorite part was your Umbridge twist, the closest thing to an original idea I've seen in a Harry Potter fanfic in a long time.

Well done.

excellant story enjoyed ever word

A work of art. True genius.

Great job.

Well, if that didn't fix my carving for unadulterated Weasley bashing, I don't know what could. Nice twist, and very nicely done. THanks for a great read; this hits the faves list!

Great fanfiction. Your take on the story is much better than Rowlings'. Are there any other fics with marauder Snape and/or good undercover Umbridge? Because I really loved those two in this fic.

This story was fantastic and I loved the Harry and Hermione you created. Your story is one of the best (in my opinion) on fanfiction and I know I will, at some point, read it again.

A little explicit but on the whole enjoyable. I think thi is the first pro-Dumbledore fic I have enjoyed :D Bravo!

no amount of words can do justice to how great this story is. It took me three days to read it but it was a very good three days. Anyway nice job.

Draco122

I am Asperger's so I do kind of know what it's like, not being able to communicate, and have a friend who has high-functioning Autism. I like the way you've portrayed Harry and Hermione, it seems perfect to me. Harry ISN'T as thick as he's portrayed in canon, and this is the perfect answer to that...Even though it makes me want to shout "it's a conspiracy" a lot. :)

BEST STORY EVER!

This has to be, without a DOUBT, the best Potter story I have ever read. And that counts ANY of Rowling's books, and also supersedes any other reviews I have, or will, make. I have to admit, the autism spin for Arianna was a bit daring-but, as someone with a form of autism myself, I will say that, for a severe case, it was very well portrayed here.

I will also admit that this story has, single-handedly, convinced me that the Harry/Ginny pairing could...no, sorry, should...never have become canon. Ron/Hermione made no sense to me from its first appearance, but I actually thought that Harry/Ginny could have worked. No more. That being said, while Harry/Hermione (I seem to have real difficulties spelling Hermione :P) is very sweet, and undeniably possible, there are other pairings with Harry that work also-for example, Harry/Luna works nicely, as does Harry/Susan.

While I remember, I guess I should point out that I was directed to this story from old-crow's story, "An Inconvenient Truth". And I'm VERY glad I was-otherwise I would have never found this gem.

In summary, well done for writing a spectacular story here, and I hope there are many more (past, present or future-I don't really care) where this one came from.

NB. Not strictly relevant, but this is the longest review I've written to date :P

damn good fic lol first fic I've read where Umbridge was actually good

for a 'tell, dont show' fic, this was pretty good. and long. and damn. Better than DH, although a bit too free witht he obliviates.

Wow. This was really amazing. I love how you portrayed Ron as the idiot he is. Thanks for writing this!

This was a great story. THANK YOU for letting Hedwig LIVE!

Bit cruel. Lacking true love.

Bravo bravo wonderful piece truly masterful the very end with the baby had me in tears

This is brilliant and a truly spectacular read. I love your narrative, although the sex scenes were a bit squicky because all I could think was "Are they telling this as part of the story to everybody?" The scenes were great, but that bothered me.

Jsyk.

This was awesome! Will there be a sequal?

I really enjoyed reading this, a very good fic!

Dear Seel'vor,

Extremely well written and thought-out. Nicely realistic situations and possibilities. Thank you for making this a super-realistic pairing.

Seriously, if I didn't know better, I'd swear this is actually the truth behind the Harry Potter series. I am VERY impressed.

Ever thought about writing an actual novel? If you've got a good plot frame, I think that you could do extremely well, based on what I've read of your fanfiction.

Again, really well done. Congrats on a fantastic fic.

Love,

Avalon

I enjoyed this so much, probably one of the best AU fanfictions around. Nice work.

Beyond amazing story. I truely enjoyed reading this than any other Harry Potter AU.

Now THAT was interesting... Good job!

This story is brilliant I've actually read it multiple times it's that amazing. P.S. HHr forever!

Story Added to C2: Harry's Lemonade Stand

a truly wonderful story. thank you for sharing it.

Highly entertaining, just the right miox of humor and action to keep it interesting. There were a few places where iy was a little confusing as I couldn't tell if it was narative or them reliving that part of the story. Otherwise very welldone.

A truly remarkable story. This was, in my opinion, incredibly clever, beautifully written and completely enjoyable.

Thankyou for sharing your time effort and creativity :)

woah... This is a truly masterpiece... I've been reading some of your fics and I can't find the words to describe how good your writer's skills are... It's difficult to find a H/Hr worthy and yours exceed my expectations by far.

I hope your works continue being like this, 'cause they're outstanding!

Can't wait for an update of Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap!

S'ya

you really like to change harry potter so none of the people are even close, ron would never use love potions, and he was inlove with hermoien, harry never even like her much, and was falling in love with ginny. i dont mind a little bash but come on not even close. and ron would have a life debt on harry becouse he save harry life.

Interesting read. Unique idea of redeeming Umbridge. And well written to boot. More like this, please.

an excellent story to be sure

^_^

Definitely some of the best H/Hr of all time. I enjoy Awesome!Snape, Awesome!Dumbledore as much as anyone else. This is ridiculously well written.

excellent rewrite of the story

monbade

Truly one of the best h/hr stories I've ever read. I truly cannot describe how happy I was to see this story as it is hard to find a h/hr story that covers every single year. Reading this is truly a great way to end my winter break.

Damn!

That was the best story I've read in ages.

Just... Brilliant!

Thanks so much for sharing it.

Awesome story, I would prefer the twins as good guys but awesome Ron bashing.

This was an excellent story. I like the way you explained things to derail, counter, and otherwise settle plotholes left by JKR.

Whoa. . . I think that thos chapters were the size of the chapters in novels. It took me all afternoon to read that, and you didn't disappoint. I'm so used to the stories of Dumbledore as a manipulative git that this made a nice change. Uhhh. . . Technical difficulties. But this story was good. Kepp writing. Bye!

I enjoyed this story very much, although, I don’t believe that Harry & Hermione would have told everyone about their sexual encounters, no one needs to know. I feel that you could have used a recollection of the details, and I always liked Fred and George, but other than that I felt that it was a 1st rate fic. I do very much like your writing style and plot. Thank you.

Bloody brilliant!

This is an outstanding view of the story! Your wording and timing of the parts is great!

I really, really enjoyed reading this fic.

10 thumbs up! (stupid simpson joke)

Sincerly

The Kitster

Good stuff. Though think could have used a few more 'together' moments. ;)

Finally, I finish reading your story! I really love reading it! You make me wanna reading all Harry Potter's series but I prefer so much your version!

I have to say, this is an absolute genius story. I love how you've taken it and twisted everything so that the readers of HP were very much like the 'public' - only 'knowing' what we believed we knew.

Even when I thought I knew which side everyone was on, you still completely threw me with Umbridge, and I loved that!

Yours is an infinitely preferable version to the books on sale.

Wow...

Thanks for writing. I look forward to reading more.

Hahahahahahahaha, with a few more ha's thrown in for good measure. Loved it, what a way to totally turn cannon on it's ear. It was refreshing to read a story where the good guys were actually good guys, and I have to say this is the first one I've ever read that attempted to do something different with Umbridge.

Thanks for the ride!

I think that this story can be summed up in two words: Fucking Awesome.

I bloody loved it. Harsh to the Weasley's, but fair. I've started reading some of your other stuff so hopefully i can expect it all to be this readable.

-TST

This is an excellent fan fiction. I've seen plenty of similar fics before, but you managed to make this one very much unique, not the least of which being a friendly Snape and a not-completely-manipulative Dumbledore!

My only real complaint was the sexual content - specifically between two eleven/twelve year olds who barely know each other (at first, anyway), it's a bit too much. It seemed like a part of the story that could easily have been dispensed with, or at least toned down, without hurting the story. That said, it was a minor detraction at most from an excellent work. Well done.

Ahh! So good, great! I really really like this story.

I love the story, but i have a two criticisms.

1) I like harmony, but i felt the relationship moved Way too fast. Really theyr'e 11 years old and barely know each other!

2) the many obliviations and confondus charms should not have happened until Ron actually did something horrible. It just makes Harry and Hermione seem unsympathetic.for them to get to know each other!

But really the rest of the story is great!

I very much enjoyed reading this. You wrote well, and stayed consistent. You avoided the normal traps of your/'re, and they're/eir.

I didn't stop reading this, and have only moved once to get a drink during the tale. This should show how incredibly I felt you wrote.

However, the heavy petting by youngish kids felt a bit odd. BUT you didn't go into graphic detail, and those scenes still sort of retained a piece of innocence.

So thank you for crafting this, and well done - it's awesome

C

I absoultely adore this story good job

Excellent story recommended by chemprof. I am very glad I heeded that nod. I had not read many stories where Harry and Hermione were together from the beginning without being cliche sappy. You did a great job. Only observation though... Why did you describe the sex scenes when they were under 13 but not after they passed puberty? :P I'm just saying...

An interesting and enjoyable story although it would have been more enjoyable if we saw the story happen rather than being told it. I would like to say though, that the sex scenes were rather inappropriate for something that is being told in a speech and were rather too clinical to seem natural. That said, thank you for sharing your story. I hope to see many more from you.

Georgia.

PS Mince pies are not made from meat but from dried fruit.

My G*D! That was one excellent story! I could not stop reading it until I was done. I am looking forward to checking out your other stories.

While I am always happy to see some Weasley bashing on behalf of Molly, Percy, Ron and Ginny; I was a little surprised to see you lump Bill, Charlie and the Twins into that pile. At least you left Arthur as a good guy. Oh well, to each there own.

i loved this story. i think u are one of the only people that understand how to take something and make it ur own. i thank you for that.

Genius really. Original, witty and funny.

Epic. I love it. Quite possibly my favorite Harry/Hermione story.

My gosh, you will have no idea how thrilled I am while reading this story!

Took me graciously two days to read carefully, and I'm glad I did.

I love the whole twist, all the plot, I even love the Weasley bashings!

Oh, and especially the whole sexy mushy scenes in between the tweens. Absolutely love it!

Stay brilliant, my friend. You have my full worship from now on!

I know you wrote this two years ago but hey, I just read it today and... it was amazing! Brilliant! Funny! A great twist to others' fics. Once I began, I didn't stop until completed. "Granpappy Firebird" is toooooo much! Nice job!

Dam, That was Awesome!

Well written, funny, and hell tied in with Everything thats been going on the last 7 years,

You just cant find a good story like this anymore, had me on the edge of my seat right to the end...

Thank you J.K, for writing these books so we can mess around with them!

I read "real us" and I think you are drunk with author power. Some OOC is ok, but you went over board. The inital smut was good and then went away. I think shoe horning your OOC's into a canon story was a mistake as they tread a path bound by nessesity. I've read much better, and some I think was from you.

When I read about the Horcruxes in HBP, I realized it sounded familiar. Turns out even the horcruxes were stolen from another author. If you'll read Taran Wanderer by Lloyd Alexander, you'll find that there's a wizard that does something remarkably similar to what Voldemort did.

Oh wow. That was... good. ;) *pant pant*

that lie in the book saying Hedwig dies (I refused to believe she would be killed by a bike failure/explosion[sp?] instead of being killed protecting Harry from a AK or something so I was crying when I read that I will in the movie too im sure

The best. THE BEST!

There was a slight error in your story, the name 'Voldemort' is mentioned twice while the taboo was in place. These are the quotes, both from the flashback to when Ron's back in the tent :

After all, we had to deal with Nagini and Voldemort attacking us, but you were picked on by five people

The only Horcruxes left in Britain are Voldemort's.

**Then again after they rescue Griphook and are at Shell Cottage:

Voldemort's using Horcruxes

In order to destroy Voldemort, we'll need that Horcrux.

Mr. Ollivander, is Voldemort looking for the Elder Wand?

**And again in Abe's room :

Unfortunately, Voldemort knows what we're doing, so time is of the essence

_

I don't know if the one's at Shell Cottage would be disregarded because they're under the charm or not but I thought I'd put it in...

On another note I love your story, it's such a better way of looking at the accursed 6th and (especially) 7th books...I think I shall now regard these as the real thing. :) Your writing is fantastic and I can't wait to read more of your works! (Hats off the Quantum Leap one it's really spectacular)

~NickleMT

While there's certainly nothing wrong with claiming that the trace as described in book 7 does not exist in your version of the HPverse, your explanation makes the common mistake of misinterpreting the description in the books. As described, it detects the presence (but _not_ the identity of who is using it, which seems to be what you're driving at with the bit about Dobby) of _some_ kinds of magic [defined as including apparation and wand magic, but not flying broomsticks] in the immediate vicinity of the underage witch or wizard, and when such magic is detected the location is noted. If it is a location where adult wizards are present, no violation is considered to have occured so no letter is sent, but the report is still made (which doesn't normally matter, but with the whole system in the hands of a ministry controlled by the enemy, is unacceptable).

TL;DR: There is no contradiction between the incident with Dobby in CS and the description of the "Trace" in DH.

i always felt that neville and his grandmother should have killed bellatrix. so strongly i changed it in my story.

you really bash the crap out of the weasleys!

Fantastic story, one of the best fanfics I have read in the last 3 years - Excellent 10/10

Best line: globule of tubercolotic sputum

It's a nice rant-fic, but really, it's pushing it. It would seem that nearly half the effort of Team Potter was spent on keeping up the charade to the Weasleys. And for what? Did the Weasleys really contribute anything to the battle? Would there really be that much dissension in the Order if the Weasels were let go? While it's fun to read all this post-war Weasley squirming, it seems too artificial.

very cool

omg i loved that story i cant belive it's over it was briliant! keep on writing!

good chapter

"You utter fucktard!" Hermione roared.

- Possibly the one sentence that no one would expect from Hermione, ever. Well done.

" "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" He sing-songed, sounding eerily like Luna Lovegood." - Or Sirius in POA (movie)? In the Shrieking Shack when he called like that to Peter Pettigrew?

Very good chapter.

gunny

hey great story do ya live in slough by the way

Good chapter.

Harry obliviates knowledge of the hallows but then he's telling everybody about them later! I suppose he's destroyed them and felt that the knowledge that such things could exist was now safe?

This is another incident where following canon makes no sense with this story. Why in nine hells would Harry even being saying voldemort? It's respecting the man to not say tome or Riddle, or any kind of abusive name like moldyshorts. There is nothign brave about saying Voldemort, it is respectful. Even worse when the taboo was up.

Plus why in nin hells don't they KILL! Chapter after chapter of them being powerful in this story, yet they do silly things like memory charm death eaters and let them live? These are bad people doing bad things and can't even stomach putting them down in a more permant fashion? Fighting for their own lives?

Outstanding chapter! I also agree with you DH was a waste of money but I got my copy free because my girlfriend bought me and a friend both copies along with her own! I also agree with you about the Hedwig comment because her death pissed me off the most about DH!

Great fic.

Nice explanation to everything :p

Shorter review due to falling asleep :).

Another fantastic chapter... better then a disarming charm anyway...as if!

couldn't review the last chapter sinc ei wished you a good night's sleep so i'll say my thoughts for it and this one now

first random thing- tonk's and teddy's nicknames put together sound like a type of ice cream, so lol to that

love the treatment of the ministers in both chapters and sad about dumbledore but it makes much more sense the way you write it, personally i don't like watching any sport so i'll agree with harry's description of football/soccer,

love fleur, she rocks and i'm glad that she's able to ignore molly, adoring the continued commentary on the weasley christmas presents and the use of the dolls to keep track of malfoy was very clever

i agree that walkie talkies are indeed awesome and i will have ot look into this knight rider thing, as well as red dwarf,

woohoo for thier awesome exam scores now onto the next chapter

glad that skeeter can be taught and didn't think that werewolf hair would be long enough for a proper staff but very cool that they used it and the other stuff- i would guess that things from their friends would make them all the better

also i agree, hedwig lives dangit! and i'm glad that hermione actually spoke to her parents and that you actually incorporate them into the story and yay for kreacher getting along with hermione and nice that your voldemort is actually intelligent and i'm over the moon with joy that remus is the remus that i know, admire and is my favorite character instead of that polyjuiced nobody from DH and yay for hermione's reaction when ron left and glad to note why snape's patronus was different and the whole defeating thing to get another person's wand being a rumor makes much more sense

also, woohoo for neville! and once again, yay for remus and tonk beings alive!