i hope u conten u this fic it is relly good and funny mybe have preslys moms reactuion to neftena

The idea of the story is good but the switching of POV every paragraph pulls the reader out of the story, breaking the flow.
It is not necessary to have everyone's POV. If you can't decide on one then do it from a 3rd party (or "god") point of view.

Very cool story! can't wait to see what happens in the next story you write (update soon Plz)

very interesting concept. i enjoyed the story, although the end did come a bit abruptly. i hope you decide to continue this, it is a good idea, and an even better story.