oh my god why isn't the chapter up now! i cant think after reading that except about what will happen next update update update soon! I'm gonna die if i don't read the next one soon!! I'll seriously just drop dead while thinking about it I'm easily over excited and get obsessive LOL

Scarlet O’Harawitz?

That was outrageously brilliant.

Loved your description of Jack singing at the end.

What a surprise.

Welcome back.

I agree with Oxymoronic Alliteration. This story is very you.

Very original idea. Wonderful phrasing. Dark and different.

Off to a good start. You repeat the first sentence. Couple typos-it's pretty easy to fix. Not sure if "Ass-Lips" is supposed to describe the lips or their function. Enquiring minds want to know...everything. Now that my ladder's gone.

I love this take on these characters, it's quite interesting! Great job. Can't wait for more!

Miniola

A million thanks for writing David as a pot-smoking, sticking it to the man teenager! Fantastic description (you really know how to set a scene).

PS: I can't believe you wrote (or implied, rather) Denton/David!

I look forward to reading more!

Good dialogue! More, please!

Hah! You're back!

Definitely liking this. It's very you (and I don't just mean that because of Jack's obsession with The Rolling Stones).