pretty awesome story.

Hehe, now that was a good read :) A very nice Plot and I like your style of writing as well - thank you for a good story and for giving me a good mood!

I love this story :D

You should consider changing the ending

~Dragon Fire

Good story, but I agree the ending could be a little better.

LOL I laughed when you said there was an adam and eve at the party.Hoe sre you supposed to do that cept like..you know...=)

luv it

OK. Let's start this review off good. This story was AWESOME! n.n For you. Boy, that was somethin'. What a spark. But... It would be better with one last chapter to close the story better. No offense, but the ending was kinda egdy, if you know what I mean. But the kiss was hot. Yeah, good job on the kiss. Hope to read some of your stories. Hope you ,ake a third chapter, too. Keep on writing! Peace!

Ooh! VERY NICE.

You certainly did earn it!!

- “Can’t, Adam’s trying to fetch one for Eve right now..."

I'm Christian and even that struck me as hilarious! Great job! I absolutely adored this fic!!

My God!! An actually well written DBZ fic? And Gohan/Videl at that!!

I loved it!

"D’you know where Videl is?”

“Probably eating somebody’s kitten, or something.”

“She can eat a whole bagful of them for all the hell I care. Anybody as hot as her can do anything they want.”


Your dialog is amazing! lmao

That made me giggle xD Good job.

This was great ^^
Very entertaining! Been to some parties like that, but always been well aware of my partner/group!

Woohoo! Kitchen pantry fun, of all the places in a house... I'd never come up with the pantry, lol. Gosh... I feel like having a flour fight now.

Good luck with the contest!

~Nor

Oh wow! I thought you'd miss a contest... but I should never expect that out of you. ^__~.

The whole concept of 'better half' is really intriguing. Now that you mentioned it though, my co-worker went to a similar Halloween party, where couples are supposed to dress in a way that complements the other. His girlfriend was apparently a cop, and he was the convict.

I really thought that Videl would be Videl. I thought they'd be paired up or something (because that's what usually happens), but I guess they were not. ^^. Angela was whack! I'd never seen a girl who dared to speak so negatively about Videl; I guess she's not smart enough to know that the girl could actually do more damage to her than she thinks... but no, she had to think Videl would eat a cat. ^__^ Hehe.

The pantry scene was hot. Enough said. It kept me wondering what was happening in there in that half hour time lapse. Hahaha! The ending was fine. I don't see the need to change it, but it's always up to you. Well written overall; as a matter of fact, I actually believed that you wrote the italicized part on the first chapter; I nearly had a heart attack because it was really good. I'm pretty sure you're capable of making it though...

Good luck with the contest. This is one of the best entries I've read in a long while... how long is quite questionable, though. ^__^