dis is gud... i like da climatic effect is gud keep it up nd im here to help

Not bad.

Yes!Thank you so much for updating even through it was really short!XD
Update soon!^^

PLEASE don't stop this story! its really good and very interesting to read! if you need ideas or something similar here's some: next chap could have the kidnaping and cloud guy or tenten finding some way to delay the guys from leaving or worn the Hyuuga's. for when tenten finally does escape its cause the cloud guy held off the others and had her run. probably right before or after she can learn the 'game'. from there we would have her in the town and she could get the seal thing on her shoulder. if you want that can be the night 'owl' gets found, or she can learn the 'game' that night. those are just a few ideas and im sure that if you update again more will come with each chapter! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND UPDATE SOON!

Great job, the story is coming together great! Keep it up!

PLEASE CONTINUE!!?!!?!?!?!?!!? i love it! this story is great! bye

i luv how dis chap is all mysterious nd evn tho short its informative its so cute i jus love im a bit confused at da part after she gets knocked out can u explain it to me pweez?

update soon its really awesome

please do continue!
i think the gorey bits are really cool!

WO
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YOU UPDATED !

OMG I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS STORY!
PLEASE UPDATE AS SON AS POSSIBLE

appreciated :)
nice! very nice! you need to update soon! and yes it is worth your time to write. :) the only criticism i have (minor) is that she says "no one has ever cared before" a lot. try having her express her shock some other way by just describing how her face looks (in total shock) or something. Other than that AWESOME now you just have to update xmen!

I really liked the chapter. You get a lot of history on Tenten. And for when they get out of the barrier, there could be a cave in or something to get them moving.

It is now March 14. More than two weeks are over. Please update! I know you are busy, and thankyou for wanting to do your homework and study. Update!

Please update as soon as possible i wanna no wot happens next !

i luv dis chap evn tho its short nd thx for da update bout ur update lol can u do it agen srry i onli chk ma yahoo nd dats where dese notices r seen also can u read ma story nd give me a few tips cuz i wanna do a gud job on it since its ma 1st if u can thx nd if u cnt its ok well keep it up!