As a published writer, I know the value of research. Subsequent to my last entry, I have reviewed much of the available background information on PS3 and the series as a whole.

It is difficult to draw exact parallels between the history of our world and that of the fictional Phantasy Star universe. PS1 and PS2 portray a scientifically advanced civilisation. Technological capabilities include prolonged cryogenic hibernation, climate manipulation, genetic engineering including animal-human hybrids, artificial intelligence and production of high functioning androids, planetary colonisation, and even interstellar space travel on world-ships.

As Parma explodes in PS2, a massive fragment of the planet strikes Motavia, causing the Great Collapse. The advanced technological culture is “lost”, although many of the supporting systems remain concealed and operational. A small proportion of the population of Parma succeeds in escaping the destruction of the planet by boarding spaceships such as the Alisa 3. Unfortunately, Dark Force invades the Alisa 3, triggering the Orakian-Layan “Devastation War”. Connections between the domes of the world-ship are sealed. Memories of the advanced scientific culture and its devices are lost from some, but not all, of the domes.

Both PS3 and PS4 take place around one thousand years after these events. In PS4, old knowledge is gradually being rediscovered. The prevailing culture in Motavia has similarities with twentieth century society in our world, including use of numerous colloquialisms in the game script, and even mention of a Game Gear! In PS3, we might infer that the isolation of the domes has stalled scientific modernisation. That does not mean, however, that the language and culture also regressed to their eighteenth century equivalents, and remained so for a thousand years. On the contrary, the game script includes remarks like: “You’re a lucky guy!”, “See you around!” and “Take care, kids!” The formality apparent in other conversations is a likely reflection of royal court manners.

Martin I, you imply that the language and culture of PS3 should imitate the eighteenth century. This is merely your personal interpretation. You are entitled to it, but you arrogantly assume that it is the only correct one. I have had no trouble immersing myself in the milieu; like many other PS3 fan fiction writers, I maintain that the social mores and lingo in PS3 may bear similarities to those depicted in PS4.

Martin I, you were unaware of Lena’s arranged betrothal to Rhys, the warring relations between Orakian and Layan cities in Aquatica, and inherited mistrust of Layans in Landen. Furthermore, the Phantasy Star series is celebrated for its portrayal of strong, autonomous women. In PS1, the protagonist Alis wields powerful swords and ultimately defeats Lassic. The female cast of PS2 include Amy, a medical doctor, and Anna, a guardian who polices hunters. PS4 portrays feisty hunter Alys Brangwin and Esper Kyra. PS3 itself includes not only Lena but potentially Sari, Laya, and Gwyn, all of whom are adept fighters. Yet you consider the “raging feminism” to be an “out-of-place culturalism”.

In short, your knowledge of the game’s background is ludicrously poor for a fan fiction reviewer. I value constructive criticism from people who know what they’re talking about. You don’t. The next time you’re tempted to write condescending reviews of other people’s work, stick with familiar territory and writing you actually understand. Spare yourself the embarrassment of discovering the value of your comments to the recipient.

To Martin I: Thanks for your review, although I do feel obliged to counter several of your plot-related objections.

First, I'm not "stretching things to put Rhys and Lena together"; the background is lifted from the Phantasy Star Compendium and retranslation of the Japanese PSI script (both courtesy of Rebecca Capowski and available online).

To quote directly from the Compendium: "Lena... was actually betrothed to [Rhys] in early childhood and has been brought up as his fiancée since then."

In the retranslation of the Japanese PSI script, the King of Cille tells Rhys: "I understand through my nephew Lyle's reconnaissance that the girl you call 'Lena' is actually the princess of Satera, the kingdom adjacent to your own...the very princess raised as your fiancée!"

Second, the gamescripts (both the Sega US version and the retranslation) are littered with comments like: "Trust in Orakio! He can protect you from Layans. Beware, Prince Rhys! Layan spies lurk about."

It is quite apparent that Orakians retain considerable mistrust of Layans, however long it may have been since they actually saw one. None of them knew that Maia was a Layan when she washed up on the shores of Landen with amnesia. Had her ancestry been known, any relationship with Prince Rhys would have been out of the question. Once it came out, both the Royal family and the people of Landen would have taken a dim view of Rhys marrying Maia. This is at least part of the reason that Rhys is obliged to renounce the throne of Landen if he chooses Maia, rather than returning to his home country with his bride.

The antagonism between Orakians and Layans is central to the plot of PSI. I had a good laugh of my own at your statement:”saying that the Orakians would be outraged if he married Maia is ridiculous”. Sorry, but you seem to have missed a key aspect of the game.

Let’s move on to Lyle’s “raging feminism”, to use your terms. Lena travels long distances alone, wields a knife, and fights alongside the male characters. Lyle observes Lena. It would be natural for him to mull over her strength and independence, and come to his own conclusions about them. History is full of examples of men who did question prevailing views about the role of women (one of the many sources that covers this is “Against the Tide: Pro-Feminist Men in the United States, 1776-1990, A Documentary History”).

As for the dialogue, PSI is set at least 1,0 years after PSII. This is a civilisation where the characters travel to a Weather Control Tower, where Lyle comments: “Your Wren cyborg can fix it up in no time at all.” The fact that there is a monarchy does not mean the story is set in antiquity. In the 21st century, Europe still has ~10 surviving monarchies.

Furthermore, there is a huge difference between court manners and colloquialism in private conversations. Alan Ross and Nancy Mitford studied the impact of social class on English usage; the upper classes use innumerable colloquial expressions, although perhaps not at state occasions. Every culture and every time-period has had its own colloquialisms.

In contrast, your comments about my writing style are entirely reasonable, because that is a matter of taste. Some people like the prose style, some don’t. It is always helpful to a writer to see a variety of reactions to his/ her style.

Blast FF dot net's censoring to the depths of Hades. Okay, where it says "1,0", I wrote the number one thousand.

Well, it's always nice to see someone tackle the under-explored Phantasy Star 3.

That said, this is pretty weak thus far, I'm afraid. The prose is self-consciously flowery and pretentious, tiring to read without having any more color or life than plain script. Long descriptions of clothing and scenery only add to the dreariness. Additionally, the omniscient perspective doesn't really serve any purpose here.

The plot's alright, though pretty much all the good stuff is lifted from the game. You're really stretching things to put Rhys and Lena together; Rhys's father arranged him to marry Lena and then lets him walk up the altar with Maia to no objection? Without his even having seen Lena? And saying that the Orakians would be outraged if he married Maia is ridiculous; no Orakian had even seen a Layan for over 1,0 years before PS3.

You also have difficulty immersing yourself in the milieu, resulting in some embarrassingly out-of-place culturalisms. Lyle's raging feminism just made me laugh, but I positively cringed at Lena talking about how a "little number came straight off the rack". I can't tell you how many ways that dialogue is horribly wrong.

There are certainly some thoughtful reflections in this piece, and I like the basic concept and the form you deliver it in. Unfortunately, the self-conscious prose and out-of-place culturalisms are sticking points for me. The writing is mired in imitating the 18th century, while your depiction of the culture is mired in the 21st century. A good story has things the other way around.

I love the way you've articulated the characters' thought processes and mannerisms! The details of the settings are very vivid and add to the story. I also love it how you've taken this Lena or Maia situation in the game into something so much more thoughtful and engaging. Please continue to write!

My dear, you never, ever cease to amaze me.

Once again, I applaud your beautifully in-depth, illustrated chapter, that loudly conveys your writing talent. I just can't get over how beautifully you have captured Lena, Rhys, Maia, and Lyle... and how you have taken their personalities, yet delving ever further. We as the gameplayers of Phantasy Star I only know so much about these characters -- bits and pieces, really -- and yet you manage to add onto their stories and their personalities... completing them. Only a writer with a true gift can truly do this, and you, my dear - do it so convincingly well, I feel that this tale is authentic. :)

Wow. Just... wow.

I very eagerly await the next chapter!

(And I am honored you dedicated this beautiful piece to me! Yay!)

Finally, someone (let along a very gifted writer!) has written some Rhys/Lena fanfiction! I am thoroughly esctatic, but even more impressed at the content of this story. Rhys, Lyle, Lena, Maia, even the King of Cille, are all amazingly in-character. The battle scenes that you describe had me on the edge of my seat, and I could envision Lena wounded as you described, yet still clutching her dagger with strength in her eyes. Lena is an amazingly strong woman -- one of th strongest in the PS series -- and you capture this beautiful aspect of her character.

This story is amazing, brilliant work. Once again, Srijita, you manage to captivate me with your talent.

Brava, bella, brava. I eagerly await the next chapter!