wriht wriht wriht!

I read the test. I faled.AND THIS WAS THE 2 TIME IDID IT!

First off, never, ever use chat speak, EVER. It horrible, it's bad, it's annoying and it's against the rules unless the story is specified as a chat speak. (you used 'u' instead of 'you')

Also, there is NO build-up to this story, at all. There are no details no plot development. No anything. The story is in complete shambles and your plot needs a serius tune-up. You need to slowly build up the tension in a story. Put in clues and foreshadowing, suspense and details. Your story looks like something an eight-year-old woud write. I think you should start over from the beginning and rewrite the entire thing. Put in details, suspense, forsadowing, plot-devlopment and characterization. And that's another thing, your original character needs a lot of work. physical appearance does not make a character. Personality and depth does. Human beings have many different sides to them, we are complex beings that over-complitcate everything. Our personalities differ from one person to the next. Right now, your OC is of the most simple, basic contructs. 2D in everyway. And that's not good. You have to devlop your characters better.

Just try to rewrite the story.

Don't rewrite. Keep it going from where it stopped. Please.

She come out. tell it to him straight. awsome very mystyrious, bit and peices missing but thats why me likes it. readz ya later =]

Wow
I luv it
So what other danny fantom stories do you write
More more
Write about dogs

good point. i might make another story on how he got her... thx 4 the idea!

Good story. Please update. I wonder how many people Vlad had to bribe and/or overshadow in order to adopt somebody.

O what's going to happen and what doesn't feel right. you have to right more. damn for just six lines you sure hooked me up, very interesting story.

RC: yes please type more me like twilight in 9 days yay! so happy

RM: WTF! that was so random anyways luv story even if it is 6 lines long, just update update update! PLZ XDXDXDXXDDLOL :]=P

Very short, yet interesting. Is this sort of a prologue type thing or will all chapters be like this? I don't mind one way or the other, can't wait to read more!! And who's that girl...?

Pika!

I am gonna write more soon :)

Write More!

that's... short...

however, just enough to make me annoyed that it wasn't longer :P,
brittney

i luv it lolololololol