Though this wasn't particularly funny, I still thought it was sort of inciteful. You had Reeve's passive aggressive office persona down, and Veld's huge name with a soft spot also expressed.

You do have some problems with comma-splices. Remember when you have two complete thoughts (subject and verb), don't use a comma to separate them; use a semi-colon.

Also, the elipses (...) are not for pauses. Commas and dashes are. Use elipses only if you have an incomplete thought you'll never finish in the text.

It was an interesting idea and it had its strengths in execution. Keep writing; your style is super smooth.