wow.
i really love the plot!!
especially when ritsuka said he love soubi
they so fit together~ kawaii!!~
hoping for more :)

Oh damn! Nice plot twist! :D Man, Ritsuka is going to have to go through some SERIOUS physical and mental therapy to get back on his feet, metaphorically AND literally! XD

Oy, sorry, gotta point something out. :) In army time, there is no 24 hundred hours, it would be 00:00, rather than 24:00, for midnight. Anyway, love your story!

Woah! I'm soo confused after that!
I never knew sacrifices could cast spells, or else Seimei is really powerful, or he's actually a fighter...
And how did Ritsuka end up in a coma? What was the article about?
I can't wait 'til the next chapter, this is one awesome story!! <3 <3 <3

Uh-oh... Is Yuiko in trouble...?
I'm so glad that Ritsuka found Soubi!! Yay!!
I'm looking forward to the next chapter! <3 <3 <3

Please continue! I'm loving it! Poor Ritsuka.

good chapter! Write more soon! Poor Ritsuka getting hurt and his own brother allowed it to happen.

so sweet!! ritsuka was so cute in this chapter, like the little child he really is!!

i found some mistakes: "yukata" - 'yokatta' (a yukata is a piece of clothing, yokatta means thank goodness)
"his feeble atempt" - 'his feeble attempt'
"pritty hard" - 'pretty hard'
"a small hand plced on his" - 'a small hand placed on his'
"I cant stand to see you cry" - 'I can't stand to see you cry'
"He had'nt had those" - 'He hadn't had those'
"im sure you'll find" - 'I'm sure you'll find'
"his small arms rapping" - 'his small arms wrapping'
"smolong down at his master" - 'smiling down at his master'
"he mimmicked the action" - 'he mimicked the action'
"his tounge" "the duo's toungues" - 'his tongue' 'the duo's tongues'
"thent his sacrifice" - 'than his sacrifice'

i'm so sorry that i picked through your brilliant story, but these are just minor little things!
i hope that this hasn't put you off writing the next chapter, if so, i'm so sorry, i actually hate doing this!

good fic!

Erm. A lot of text and not much emotion or story plot. You depend on the characters voices too much. Write some adjectives. Describe the pain, the wind on the ride, the taste of food. It makes the reading experiance a whole lot more awesome.

P.S. I was frackin' eating potstickers when
I read this. I was like..."DUUDDE

great story! i can't wait 'til next chapter, if you decide to make more. but this is total awesomeness! keep it up!