A big leap forward, both in plot and writing. The first passage was done greatly. Confusion and amnesia, especially the part about the water.

I myself wouldn't use the term "aircraft" when describing an airship. It's clear what you mean, and there are worse words for it, but it still feels out of place.

I'll look forward to see how scorned Sophitia will manage herself.

Intersting story. It's a nice concept to have the events told from the angle of a "newbie" like Sophitia. A lot of stuff is happening around and over her head, which gives it a little nice suspense.

The language and writing floats well. The characterizations are good. As for Sophitia; everybody can change, can't they?

Hmm. I like this story, the way the characters are portrayed is nice. I like the description(grammar checking can help), and the emotions seem fine.

Nice story here, is the amnesia going to wear off and all sorts of drama ensued?

This has a lot of potential, PLEASE don't let it die:(

Rather a short continuation, which is disappointing, but it's an interesting one. If you put two and two together, it sounds like Gilder may have been deliberately hunting down Dalan's associates after the incident in chapters 4 and 5.

A couple errors: "so she just layed there." It should be "lay", not "layed". And in "as he directed Sophitita back", you misspelled your own character's name! :)

Davidson's dialogue is rather contrived in the way it gives information to the reader, especially in his big first paragraph, but his mentioning of Dalan is pretty abnormal too.

Sophitia is great in this chapter, though. She does seem a bit disconnected from everything since she got amnesia, and the way she reacts to her situations is pretty compelling. Her reaction to hearing Dalan's name is interesting, too. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Excellent chapter! No significant problems with this one, and it does a great job with introducing Sophitia to the little cast of the Claudia so that the adventure can move into the next phase of action.

The little scene with Orion was very funny. Good character. The opening descriptions set the stage for it very nicely, too. The bit with Andy vacating Joshua's chair is the real one to bring on the chuckles, though. I love how you contrast those two. I'm guessing that Joshua isn't really as bad as he seems(else why would Gilder have him as part of the crew?), but that was definitely a low move he made on Sophitia. Hope she gets back at him for that later.

I've found a couple little errors. By "a gap", I could be wrong, but I assume you meant "agape". Second, the subject seems to be missing in "Are that desperate?”" And there's a little typo in "not it’s not hard,".

Once again, a great chapter that smoothly and swiftly sets things up for the adventure to come. I look forward to the next installment!

Hm... the only problem with your suggestion in the author's notes is, I've never heard of anyone losing their memory that way... :)

Anyway, another very well-paced and entertaining chapter. As always, your descriptions set the scene well, though the bit on Gilder was more than was needed. The dialogue between him and Sophitia is great. Very amusing and natural. Gilder is always the perfect host.

To be honest, Sophitia losing her memory is a little... lacking in bite, shall we say. We haven't really been given anything that would be important for her to remember. Of course, we still have to see what this leads to, and given the quality of your writing I'll naturally be sticking around for that.

A fine update indeed. I like how you resolved the standoff; chapter 4 is certainly tense. A very logical flow of events, and you keep Gilder's weaknesses there without contriving difficulty for him. Sophitia's reactions to the situation are very believable as well.

Only problem is that I think you probably shouldn't have made the abrupt shift to Gilder's perspective. And the line "The madman had a clear shot to her head; even if he took a shot at the madman now," could use another pronoun, if you know what I mean. By the way, by "wreathe", I assume you mean "writhe".

Anyway, chapter 5 is hilarious! It certainly helps that you keep the situation about as tasteful as possible; the scene would be ruined if not for that. I think you balanced the thin line with Sophitia's dignity pretty well, too: She's not immune to the situation, and in fact is believably vulnerable, but you don't turn her natural distress into comic relief. And some of the banter between Gilder and his crew is priceless.

Once again, extremely well-paced and entertaining work, with superb, respectful characterizations of Gilder. Nice job.

Hey; it's me. Your story seems interesting and well described. I'll read the other chapters now.

This is getting very good. The plot's quite captivating, an entertaining mix of misunderstandings and deceptions, schemes and dread danger, and you filter all the information beautifully through Sophitia's limited perspective. I'm also very pleased that Gilder, who is all too rarely seen in SOA fan fiction, is part of the proceedings.

Perhaps most impressively, your writing moves things along at a jaw-dropping fast pace, while conveying everything in a way that it doesn't feel rushed, nor that we're getting less detail than we should. This is quite the feat of pacing. Anything that doesn't need to be there isn't, and everything that needs to be there is.

There are a number of typos(which I didn't note down, sorry), and a few missteps - for instance, "He probably hates me now..." seems an absurd overreaction, even for an adolescent. On the whole though, this story is proving a whole lot better than the somewhat drab beginning suggested it would be. Please do continue.

You don't need to use 800 words of text to describe a world that anyone reading this story already knows inside out. And if your readers aren't familiar with the world, then that information should be incorporated into the story. Nobody likes to read an encyclopedia just so that they can read one story.

Also, thoughts should not be underlined.