I really like this one!

Very nice. Thanks.

You did an amazing job with this. The characterizations of Hinata and Sasuke were done perfectly, even with the slight OOC-ness. It was funny reading Sasuke's own thoughts and musings :)

I definitely see what you mean when you say that Hinata would be the one to break up with Naruto if they ever got together. She knows Naruto too well to keep him away from his true feelings (whether he knows them or not) and she would do something about, even if she were to suffer alone as a result. But luckily, she got to suffer with Sasuke :D

I had a lot of fun reading this one-shot; the conversations between the two and the bartender were funny and Sasuke's thoughts about Hinata and how they gradually change were timed wonderfully.

To sum it all up: I loved it!

That was incredible. Your writing has depth, I simpy love how you developed Hinata's character. Please keep writing!

Um...while I realize it's more than lame to review my own story, this is really the only way I could think of to respond to "the return of pp"'s review, which I desperately felt I needed to.

So...to the return of pp (if you ever happen to read this):

...yeah, I get where you're coming from. Double standards tick the heck out of me so I was more than a little upset when I myself got accused of having one, especially against Hinata. But after some consideration, I still think that Naruto's and Hinata's one-sided relationships are DIFFERENT. You can generalize them and say they're the same, but, like all relationships, fictional or not, each has enough to make them unique. It's not that I think that ALL one-sided relationships are doomed to fail; it's that I know that honestly, many times people outgrow (romantic) feelings for others.

As to why Hinata would give it up versus why Naruto wouldn't, it's because I think that Hinata idealizes Naruto and puts him on a pedestal. I think she admires Naruto as much or even more than she "likes" him. Naruto, on the other hand, interacts with Sakura on a daily basis, obviously recognizes her flaws, and has come closer to a more *realistic* love for her than Hinata has for him (That's what *I* got out of reading the manga when I was writing the story, pre-437.) Because that was my interpretation of their individual cases, I think Hinata would give up and let Naruto be true to his doggedly persistent self rather than cling to a "I'll totally disregard the other person's feelings and keep dreaming of a happy ending" fangirl mentality.

I appreciate the amount of effort you put into thinking about the characters' motivations; after all, that's a sign of a truly interested fan. I try to put about as much effort into analyzing my writing and making sure it's not "poorly-written cr**" (although you may disagree.) However, I think it's safe to say that we WILL fundamentally disagree on whether or not love "in principle" means "love in every situation remotely similar on the surface".

Thank you for your review (and I'm sorry it didn't suit your tastes),
MW

I'm sorry but this is complete crap! Having her give up her relationship with Naruto on the basis of not being able to make a relationship out of unrequited love and having that someone love you back, then having her claim he is suffering some "setback" and saying that he should keep chasing Sakura on the grounds that... wait for it... THAT'S RIGHT, not giving up on the one you love, and that eventually, Sakura will see him in that way (or why else would Naruto "keep chasing" her) is just so STUPID. Can you say 'Double Standard'! If, in this story, Hinata feels its unfair and useless to go after the one you want, why would she let Naruto experience being some sort of weak fanboy, as you said Hinata would be a weak fangirl? Wouldn't that doom him to eternal heartbreak? After all, if he couldn't ever love Hinata, wouldn't that mean Sakura couldn't ever love him, since in your fic they're both one-sided relationships? It's a good thing canon doesn't follow this idiotic way of thinking, for all you and others like you ignore it. In the canon, Sakura has begun to see Naruto like that- so I guess "People change" and "Love can be found for ones once overlooked" are themes that ARE part of the story, like it or not. And since Sakura can change her opinion about Naruto, there is no reason why Naruto can't come to love Hinata; after all, Sakura used to HATE Naruto and Naruto didn't even know Hinata liked him and he liked her as a friend.

this part:

“He’sh suffering a s-s-setback. N-n-normally, the Naruto I love—he wouldn't hide behind another girl. He’d be honest about his feelings with Sakura. He’d keep chasing her, even if she’s angry o-or teases him sometimes.

could easily be changed to:

“She's suffering a s-s-setback. N-n-normally, the Hinata I love—she wouldn't hide behind another boy. She’d be honest about her feelings for Naruto. She’d keep chasing him, even if he’s angry o-or teases her sometimes.

That is unless the author to take away from the character. Why is it that its perfectly fine for one, but not the other? If you think its not okay to keep going after love in principle, then apply it equally(and re-read the manga), if you think its not okay if you're named Hyuuga Hinata and just fine for anyone else... well then, just put THAT in your summary, and save people the trouble of reading contradictory, poorly-written crap like this.

awesome!


aw, i want someone with awesome ninja skills...

I'd like to think she'd break up with him too, out of care. And mad ninja skills snorts.

Aww, so sweet you have talent my friend another oneshot of yewrs im adding to my c2s

i really, really enjoyed that story. it was funny and well written and a nice change from other naruto breaks up with hinata fics. but why on earth would you tell that story to your daughter?? lol good job

Haha. So damn cute. And I agree with the Hinata thing. She wouldn't keep him only to hurt themselves in the end.

I feel terrible. I haven't been keeping up with ANY updates! PERIOD! *bows repeatedly*

That's my New Year's resolution...and I have to excel before my mother takes my laptop *tears*.

We all get lazy, don't we? ANYWAY! No matter your worries, this was great! Gah, babe, you've got talent. Your style always has me into it, laughing my head off...

Did I tell you that you were great? Well you are.

PEACE

very interesting story :)

OMFG. I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAITED UNTIL FOREVER TO READ THIS!!

'Sho kyute!!

Something caught my eye, and wouldn't leave me alone.

Itachi...smothering Sasuke. Younger-brother complex.

...Can you write something like that? I-I-I have to read it. ♥ It's stuck in my head. D:

And aw! That IS the dorkiest love story-- but also the cutest, most sincere one!

They got a kid. >:D

kissies&huggies,
cGs♥

Aw to cute.