 -strange-and-weird- 2008-12-04 . chapter 2wahahah...poor gakuto... the omake was awesome...
i'm looking forward to the next chapter... |
 Shinigami 2008-12-02 . chapter 2 *LOL* Love Jiro's line! Poor Gakuto! He must be utterly mortifed. I pity the others, they're prolly scarred for life...I'm shocked that Hiyoshi hasn't quit the team entirely due to all the drama... As for Atobe-weird team is overstated. I think that's normal-Seigaku has inui and Fuji, Rikkai-Dai has Niou and Akaya. Most of the tennis teams has their own trouble-makers... |
 amynaoko 2008-12-01 . chapter 2Nya! great!! do you really improve since the last chapter!! i love when yuusi punish gakuto!! really a beutiful and sexy chapter!! |
 Fujiwara Michiyo 2008-11-30 . chapter 2 Sweet!I like this story.It's funny to see how the tensai lure his boyfriend to do something he wants(in this case,smut).I'm not really like sweet pair,but I like how well you write your story,so I just have to wat and see.I think yukimura is considered tensai.Anyway,Update soon! |
 Rikki-Boy 2008-11-30 . chapter 2 YAY! You totally just made my day with this amazing hotness of written **...Yeah it was that good. You get extra credit too since it was dirty pair. That and you used "weeping tip" I was having an argument with a friend a while ago because she thought it was funny that I used that and I tried to tell her that people do and she wouldn't believe me. But HA now I've got proof! Really, really good proof.
My randomness aside I would like to actually be useful in my review, but I seriously can't think of any way you could possibly make this better than it already is. Just a few minor typos such as "Alarmed he tried to release his bound wrists but the knot wouldn’t bulge an inch." I'm assuming you meant budge not bulge. Other than that I think there might have been a spot or to where you accidentally hit the wrong letter or forgot one but I'm too lazy to go back through and find them since they weren't major enough to affect the story as a whole.
Once again an amazing chapter, I especially liked the ending; way too funny. That and really the entire section of smuttiness. |
 phoenixfirekitsune 2008-11-30 . chapter 2XD I love Jirou's part in the omake. Sweet pair is next? Cool. |
 amynaoko 2008-11-23 . chapter 1Nya! so perfect!! i love this pairing!! and the sex ecene was greate!! Ahh! i love the dirty pair too!! |
 phoenixfirekitsune 2008-11-19 . chapter 1Tezuka really needs to remember dates with Fuji, ne? I know that Shinji is considered to be Fudomine's tensai. As for acrobats, there's Terry Griffey from the American team. That's all I can think of though. Pleasae update soon and keep up the good work! |
 Rikki-Boy 2008-11-17 . chapter 1 Oh crap, I forgot. As far as I know, smut and lemon are the same thing. Both warn readers that there's sex/sexual relations of some form in the story. |
 Rikki-Boy 2008-11-17 . chapter 1 According to my computer, FIRST REVIEW! Heck yeah, this is exciting. Anyway, I like this, it's fun and classily trashy...is classily even a word...oh well.
The only thing I can think to recommend for you is at the beginning of the smut to make it a bit more clear what exactly going on, like mention Tezukas arousal sooner than when Fuji starts playing with his erection. And maybe make the transitions from kissing to touching to sex a little more defined. Oh and you might want to mention what happened to the tea cup; the sex kind of distracts the reader from the fact and/or makes them not care but the cup kind of got lost in the intercourse.
All in all though you did really good. Especially for this being your first time writing something like this. It's certainly better than a good deal of the things I've come across before. And I'm looking forward to the dirty pair chapter, I love that pair and there isn't enough of them.
I hope I didn't offend you with my critic, because I really do like this; I think my creative writing class is rubbing off on me. |