Huh? I never commented this? I know I read it before - I still have the old tear-tracks overlaid by new ones now (yeah, thanks...) and I never told you how this one kills me? Damn, I'm a jerk. And not the Dean-kind.
So, I'll do it now, even though I could probably stop with just saying it killed me. I understand Sam - and now that I read it again I full on remember why this is my take on why Sam didn't pick up - and I put it like this in one of my own stories. And I REALLY believed it was my own idea! So that is how good this is.
Poor Dean with his headache and poor Dean for his frantic runrunrun, workworkwork. And for the fact that even though Sam cares a whole lot, he still couldn't give that one promise, the only one. It would have been so *easy*, why couldn't he?
I guess I know: he could not bear the thought that when Dean did call, he would KNOW that this was it. That it would be the final call, the one he could not bear to get. But... but still. Damn him and his smart head!
And damn, why do you always break Dean so much. Can't you write a fic where Dean is moderately happy and smart and hunting? Can't you? I would LOVE to read something like that (of course, you are allowed to hurt him a little ;-) ), especially from you. Because seriously, there are awesome writers out there, and you are among the top of them.

So, sorry if I did comment and just didn't find it. I need to go looking for some angst-free fic with gore and smart brothers now. Or I would lay in bed and mourn poor Dean throughout the night, and seriously - who would want that. I'd rather have happy, kick-** Dean in my dreams tonight. Maybe horndogDean *wink*
See ya
Marlowe

Loved it. Great story and I loved the way you portrayed Dean.

Totally loving this fic right now. :D

I found this through fic rec at LiveJournal's sick_dean community. This indeed is a wonderfully written story. I'm crying as I read the last part. You made each of the Winchesters flawed yet sympathetic. I feel for all of them, especially Dean. My heart just breaks for him over and over again here, and then by last line, I ache for Sam too. Well done!

Aw, it's really hard to think outside 'Poor Dean', in this chapter. No matter Sam's excuse was, I still think it's really cruel that he's not answering Dean's call. It's his brother for god's sake. The brother who took care of him, who care for him, who has been and will always be there for him.
And Dean resign to not calling Sam except when he's about to die? That really made me cry.

Poor Dean! Hate John for leaving cause he can't handle Dean being so miserable. What a coward! Love Bobby though.

This was so good! I can actually see this sort of thing happening to Dean. At first I was upset with Sam, but I think I understand. I am an older sibling like Dean.

Just heartbreaking. Well told. You have yourself a new fan!
~Shannon

Heartbreakingly wonderful and your afterword was a fascinating read too. It's really nice to get an author's perspective on their story, especially when they've put so much thought into it. And in light of your afterword, I just wanted to say that I think you did a wonderful job characterizing John. He's a hard character to get since we get so few insights into him in the show. I have my own little mussings on his characters, but yours just came across as very believable to me. Great work all round.

Brilliantly heartbreaking! This is probably my favorite of your fics so far, just because I'm crying while writing this review. I had tears in my eyes when Dean was rambling on to John (or TV) in a hospital, and saying "Cos if I stop... then I got nothing else." I had tears in my eyes when Dean and Sam talked in the phone. But the tears started flowing at the end when Bobby talked to Sam. Wow. I loved this so much, I'll read this again someday. You dealt with the whole painful Stanford thing very appropriately. And I loved Dean and Bobby bonding and working together at the beginning. I'll definitely go find that song you mentioned and listen to it.

yay, finally another Supernatural story of yours I can read ;)
Just finished season 2 here, so still not that far unfortunately.

Great story, as usual from you. Liked the Dean doing so much it made him sick, just so he wouldn't have to think about Sam leaving. The tiredness, coupled with his abandonment-issues, made it believable that he would lose it like that.
Loved your Bobby, by the way, he feels like a grumpy and gruff grandpa to me, but one that loves you to bits if you're not watching...lol

That line: 'Promise me you'll always answer, and I promise I'll never call.'; that was just heartbreaking.
Thanks for posting :D

Thanks for a really great story.
I always imagined this was probably how it was for Dean when Sam was gone.
He eventually became the tougher Dean we saw in the Pilot. But this was what he was early on.
Dean without Sam is just...painful.
Thanks for sharing!!

Beautiful and heartbreaking fic.

I loved the ending. It was just perfect and entirely plausible. You write all the characters so well.

*Sigh*

I'm going back to read your break down, but for now that's the only comment I have. Oh, and I have a drabble re: Bobby's sofa scribbled down next to the residues for human integrin beta-2. So yeah. Thanks for that ;)

Wow! That, my friend was AWESOME! One of the most believable fics I've ever read! The ending was really cool!
two thumbs up!

I really enjoyed this story. It was apparent that this was well thought out. Great writing. It was a pleasure to read