|Reviews for Reality|
| Jen 12/28/09 . chapter 33
I was awake for a good five minutes, just lying there listening to them, before Coach Karis glanced over and noticed I was awake. - Boys and sports, right? Personally, I don't get the appeal, but whatever, lol.
Scout's coach is pretty great, coming to see her. It's gotta be a good thing, really. I mean, her parents are gone, but she's still obviously got a lot of people who care about her.
“She’ll be there,” Darry said. Since he had seen me play he was my biggest fan, suddenly. - I love Darry. I just want to steal him all for myself.
When I woke up for lunch Two-Bit was there with Ponyboy. Apparently he was having some kind of brake problem with his car and he had me in hysterics describing how he had almost gotten himself killed. - Oh, book tie in, and crazy Two-Bit. I love them both, lol.
You take care, kid.” He patted me on the head as he left. - I like that Dal is there. It's kinda random, but it also makes sense. I mean, she's his buddies little sister and they're both in hospital. I like that he stopped in on his way out.
I dialed my house. Steve picked up. - So, I actually narrowed my eyes anf frowned a little when I saw that because I knew it wouldn't be good. I don't know if I should be praising you for making me angry at the mere sight of Steve's name, or pissed at you for making me angry at the mere sight of Steve's name. Lol, just kidding.
I had to find out from Dallas, of all people? - LOL, too funny.
Pony stood in the hallway, swooning. - I feel like "swooning" isn't quite the right word there. Possibly just because the context you usually hear it in is about good-looking guys, lol. I dunno, technically it's the exact word for what's going on, but it just doesn't feel right to me.
| Jen 12/28/09 . chapter 32
Okay, one review for each of your remaining five chapters, and then you'll have one hundred! Wo!
I was glad to hear Ali say that she had been talking to Darry the whole time we were missing… it was good to know that she stuck with him through it all. - *dances* I love this whole Darry/Alison thing, I really do.
saving the part about Pony and I looking at the stars for myself. I just wanted to keep that private, it had meant that much to me. - Awh, I love this newfound relationship between Pony and Scout.
I don’t know where they had gone but when they came back Ali’s cheeks were flushed and Darry looked happier than usual. - Making out in the hospital, Dar? Nice.
Totally short and crappy review, I know, lol. But I'm gonna finish them all now :)
| Jen 12/14/09 . chapter 29
I should be writing, but whatever :P
I turned my head and was surprised at the first person I saw. “Ben!” I croaked more than spoke. - You know, sometimes I have to wonder if maybe Ben already loves Scout a little.
“I missed you,” he whispered in my ear. - Awh, I heart Soda.
A picnic at an abandoned church? What kind of field trip is that? - Hahaha, damn good question.
And, as an afterthought, he added, quietly, “I missed you.” - Awh, I love Ben!
You sleep, Scout, and I’ll be here when you wake up, OK? I promise” - You need a full stop at the end there.
I used to quite dislike how Scout and Pony didn't get along, and I think you've done a really good job with the two of them becoming closer. i really, really like it.
“No, No trouble kid. - You need to either replace the comma with a full stop, or uncapitilise the "N" in the second "No", lol.
but I was surprised at one point to wake up and find Steve sitting in the chair by the bed. - For one tiny split second there, I thought that maybe we'd get a look at good!Steve. Aw well, lol.
I looked at him as though I was his executioner and he looked sad too, - Awh, poor Darry. I swear, you make me want to steal him and keep him all to myself :P
Ugh, totally short review, but I figure it'll be worth it, lol. It's not as if I'm putting any less work into them, just spearding them out a little :) Oh, and I do really like this fic. Not Steve in it :P but everyone else is pretty awesome *cough* especially Darry ;)
| Jen 12/10/09 . chapter 22
Fyi, I'm actually really looking forward to the next few chapters. I've always been curious as to how you worked the events of the book into this :)
Both of us were staring at the moon, the sky. It just didn’t look like this at night on the south side of Tulsa. - That's probably what I love most about going bush. I hate camping, I hate the mosquitoes, and the food kinda sucks, but the sky is so pretty.
I could feel in Pony’s voice how it was hard to have that memory, to think about Dad, but still he wanted to share it with me. - Awh, I love Pony.
He threw his arm over my shoulder and held my hand in his. “You warm enough?” he asked. - Whoa, how very Soda of him. I like it.
I loved the bonding between Scout and Pony. I dunno if it'll last, but I thought it was really sweet.
But here was Johnnycake, cutting my hair for free. - Haha, I just like this line.
He was yelling at Johnny about how he was fourteen, how he was fine, how he would stop crying any minute. - Book! Lol, I like how Scout isn't around for small moments like that. I mean, I like that she's there, but it works well, you know?
The fight was ... well, I'm not sure of the right word, but I liked it. It just worked, lol. Pony's anger, Scout's frustrations - they all made sense and I think it was very well done.
There was nothing I could do about it anyway. I’d wash it off at the well later. - Oh, bad feeling.
I laughed. Darry had very little time for beer or girls lately. In fact I wished he and Ali had more time for each other. - Poor Darry, and me too!
Any anger I had felt towards Darry had long since faded, and my newfound closeness with Pony only made me miss Soda and Darry even more. - Awh. I know I said a little more andger and WTF from Scout after Darry hit Pony would have been good, but I think this really makes sense. People get over things, especially when they're away from the people they're angry at. Look at Pony, he got over it while he was gone and it was he who Darry hit.
That entire bit with the three of them really made me think of your Pony one-shot. I really liked it :)
Awh, Scout's leaving? I don't feel like that's such a hot idea, lol.
I just lay where I had landed and cried. - Awh, poor Scout. That is like, the worst feeling, when there's nothing else you can do but sit and cry.
I've decided my next reviews are going to be shorter, just so I get to give you your 100th :P But before that, I have to read teh "Reconciliation" chapter.
Awh, sam, you're killing me. I love Darry. Seriously - whole new respect for the guy now. Not only is he hawt, but he's just freaking awesome.
This isn't much of a review, but like I said, I'm going to start reviewing less at a time so I can get you to 100, lol.
| Guest 12/7/09 . chapter 15
It's been a while, lol.
I didn’t think it was a very good idea to go to Dingo for a soda - Go to "the" Dingo.
“You see,” Two-Bit said, “That’s a common misconception people have. Ben’s plenty old enough to drive, he’s just not old enough to legally drive, on the actual street.”
“That’s right,” Ben said. - I love Two-Bit's logic and I love how eagerly Ben agrees with him, lol. It's nice to see that little bit of naughty in Ben.
“Come on Scooter, you’re first. Slide over. - You're missing a quote mark there.
“OK, kid,” Two-Bit said, “Now the important thing - You have a comma after said when it should be a period.
It’s just like with a girl, you gotta be gentle enough to get her to work with you but rough enough that she knows who’s boss.”
“Two-Bit!” I said, “I sure hope that wasn’t the advice you were planning to give me if I was sitting there,” Ben actually was blushing a little. - LOL, I love Two-Bit so much and I love that Ben blushed. Great line, though you need a period when Two-Bit stops talking, not a comma.
I’m ashamed to admit, I screamed like a girl. - Ahahahaha.
By the last try both Two-Bit and I were both hysterical with laughter, and Ben was getting mad at us. - Awh, poor Ben.
To be honest I was a little wary of a chapter about learning to drive, but you and Two-Bit totally pulled it off and I spent the entire time laughing :)
“What?” Soda said. He was still looking at the TV, fascinated by some girl on the screen. - Lol, Soda. I love it, though, it's such a boy thing.
“Don’t touch the gears or the pedals,” he said. He didn’t know that I was practically a licensed driver now, thanks to Two-Bit. - Heeheehee.
He slept in his Tulsa shirt a lot; I was always running into him in the morning looking like he was dressed for practice. - Um, that's kinda hot.
Awh, it makes me sad that Scout and Pony don't get along so well, lol. I totally got it, but it still makes me sad.
“Don’t worry, Darry,” I said. “Everything here is paid for. Two-Bit just drove me. He didn’t even come in the store.” - Hahaha, I love it.
“A toaster?” he suggested. - A toaster? Seriously? LOL!
“Yes.” I said. “And selling drugs.” Only Pony laughed.
“That’s not funny,” Darry said, which made me laugh. - I love that only Pony laughed at her joke, and I love Darry's response.
I opened my eyes to see my mom’s Irish Claddagh ring. - I love Claddagh rings. I totally got one for my thirteenth birthday, lol.
So, Christmas chapter was really sweet. I liked how you wrote it all and I loved everyone's reactions to everything.
Awh, Darry and Alison. I love it. I already think they're really cute together, lol.
Darry had never come to see me play before. I felt like I had when Dad would come watch; I didn’t want to let him down. - I love Darry!
She was leaning with her back against the wall, and he had his hands on either side of her, leaning in. At the moment they were just talking, but it was clear to me there had been some kissing. - I really, really am loving Darry. Even from his sister's pov, he comes across as hot. That sounds really wrong, but I hope you know what I mean, lol.
Okay, I feel like Scout's reaction to Darry hitting Pony wasn't ... well, there wasn't much of it. I dunno, maybe I just expected it to be more, but this is her big brother, the guy she looks up to and is closer to than anyone else and he just hit her other brother. There's ogtta be some "OMG WTF" going on for her when seeing that. You got Pony's reaction across really well by describing his face, but I feel like there wasn't much thought or feeling about it from Scout.
He didn’t. He just looked at me like I was a complete nutjob. - Lol, I really like that.
I didn’t even recognize the shirt Pony was wearing. It was way too big on him, it must have been Darry’s. - Do you mean Dally's? Obviously it's Buck's, but if Scout doesn'r recognise it then wouldn't she think it was Dal's 'cause that's who Pony and Johhny were with?
I loved Darry with all my heart but now a part of me feared him, too. What if I disappointed him? I probably already had. Would he hit me, too? I missed him to death already, after one night, and I felt bad for leaving, but a part of me was angry with him, as well. - Ah, there we go. I still think a little more shock when Darry had hit Pony would have been good, but I do like Scout's thought here.
Okay, I am really enjoying this. It's interesting what you've done with Scout and the events of the book and I can't help but hope it somehow helps her relationship with Pony, lol. I know I basically suck at giving lots of reviews, but it's just easier to give you long ones for a few (*cough* five *cough*) chapters than lots of tiny ones, lol. I will get around to another review ... tomorrow, maybe. Hopefully. :)
| some blue december 11/27/09 . chapter 9
“Curtis, that’s inspired!” she said. - Ha, nice. I like the use of the word 'inspired'.
We agreed to run it past the superpowers - Hehe, superpowers - superman :P
“I thought you didn’t get along with anyone else on the team,” he didn’t even look up. - I'm almost positive you need a period after team, not a comma.
“you’re a real laugh-riot, Darry,” I said. “Really, we had an idea.” - You need to capitalise 'you're'.
“No, this is Alison.” - Huh, I think I remember this girl ;)
I burst out laughing. Mr. Curtis! Ha! - I totally did the same thing. I love it when ofc's call Darry Mr. Curtis.
Darry looked at the paper and I thought I saw a slight smile as he put it in his wallet. - CUTE!
“I don’t know, I wouldn’t throw any of those boys out of my bed!” she said as she dialed. - Oh my God, I love it. And I can totally see where she's coming from ... well, maybe not Pony at 13/14, but you know what I mean, lol.
Darry had rolled up his sleeves and I was sure it was to show off his muscles. - *Swoon* I'm sure neither Anna or Alison mind :P
Anna ran over to the passenger side and jumped in.” - Undeeded quotation mark.
Darry took Anna’s bag and carried it for her and for some reason I just had to smile. - Awh, man. This review is going to be filled with squeeing about Darry. I doubt you'll mind, though, lol.
“Darry tossed Soda the keys. - Another extra quotation mark, lol.
I could see in the light from the streetlight that he was smiling. - *cough* Another squee. I totally love Darry.
I really, really love this thing Uncle Pat's doing for them. It makes me happy, lol.
Things between him and Steve had been strained for the past two weeks since the incident at the football game - I'm actually kind of pleased about this. Steve was an ass and kinda deserved Soda to be a bit anti him for a while.
“Awright, you two, no time for a lover’s quarrel, here. - I love how Two-Bit hassles them about being together, lol. I particularly interested to see his reaction when they get together and he finds out.
Oh! I'm really excited to see what she's gonna get for Soda and Darry, lol. I'll just read down to see, but I wanted you to know that I'm really curious about it :P
A watch? Totally perfect. And while reading Scout's memory of her dad and Darry's broken watch I had this random thought of "I totally wanna write a Darrymance," because you've really made me love him, lol.
I'm really loving these chapters, sam. I know I'm not giving as many reviews as I should be, but I am reviewing and - FINALLY - reading :)
| some blue december 11/26/09 . chapter 6
Huh, well I guess I got that mixed up and it wasn't the same attack as int he book ... or was it? Maybe you're just being all sly and putting your own twist on this.
Two weeks later, the day before Thanksgiving break - Hm, wasn't that ... yesterday? Or today?
“Hey, little Curtis?” I turned. I was surprised to see Tim Shepard looking out his passenger window at me. - Squee! Tim kicks ass. Oh, and I love the "little Curtis" comment, lol. It kind of suits Scout.
“So you’re playing basketball, huh? That’s tuff!” - That's tuff! Oh Tim.
They were great people and they took real good care of Dally.” - Awh, I love that Tim not only told Scout he was sorry about her parents, but that he liked the fact that they looked after Dally. I love the idea of Tim and Dal being real friends deep down.
“I laughed. “I doubt it’ll matter,” I said. - Un-needed quote mark at the beginning of that sentence.
I realized Tim’s image as a tough hood might be true but that clearly wasn’t all there was to it. - That' right - he's a big brother, too :)
“So what, he can kick our asses for forgetting you?” - Hehehehe.
I love your introduction of Tim. He is a total hero, and not just in this, lol. I can't help but think of him as they guy who always comes to the rescue when brother's aren't around.
Darry, not really able to think of anything appropriate in the way of food that we could bring, brought a floral centerpiece. - Oh my goodness, that is really cute. Kinda manly in a way, too, lol.
He used to make a big corny production about how thankful he was for each of us kids, then carry on forever about my Mom’s beauty virtues until she was laughing so hard she cried. - Awh, that's really sweet and sad.
Awh, Scout gets to play Santa. I really like that. I can see Christmas not being a big deal in their neighbourhood unless you had parents like the Curtis parents. But now, they don't and it would be hard. I think I really like Uncle Pat.
I played on the bvasketball team with her sister Sarah - There's a random "v" in basketball, lol.
he had told me the last think he needed during the game - 'thing' not 'think'.
Ben did not even give Two-Bit the dignity of an answer. It was sometimes best just to not encourage him. - I love it because it's true.
“Whoa, so this is how the other half lives,” Ben said, sarcastically, folding my seat down for me. - Awh, he is a gentleman. I love Ben.
The girls shot us a look of eternal gratitude as they headed off in the other direction. - Too funny. I really like your Two-Bit. Not just the way he acts, but the effect he has on everyong and everything around him.
Sigh. You really make me both angry and sad about Steve. I love him to bits, but I hate the way you write him. I mean, you do it well, but ... I'm not sure how to say this without sounding like I'm ragging on you, lol. I think what I mean is that you write nasty Steve so well and that's what I hate - nasty Steve. Not the way you write him, just the fact that he's nasty. And it makes me angry because he's being such an ass. But then it makes me sad because I know why. Again, nothing at all about your writing, just the fact that it's my favourite greaser who's the bad guy, lol.
However, upon reading further to after Darry's touchdown, I like that you're doing this lead up to what's coming. I don't like what's coming, but I do like that it's there from the beginning. The drinking, anger and outright nastiness is all there from the very start. It's not a sudden thing that comes about when he does what he later does, or even that comes about in that fic. It's built up. It's well done.
I like that Evie goes with Steve when he leaves. Even though he's an ass, she might really love him whish is what he needs. What I don't get is does Soda still consider Steve his best friend after this run-in? I can kind of understand it if he does - the have been forever - but it'd be kind of weird after the things Steve said. I'll just have to keep reading to find out. Oh, and I promise I haven't spent all this time commenting on Steve because I love him - my version of him anyway, lol - but because I know what happens. Kinda makes me think about how is he now, knowing how he will be then.
“Hi,Dar,” I said. He nearly jumped a mile in the air. - You need a space inbetween 'Hi' and 'Dar'.
“That was a really great catch, Darry.” was what I said. Awh, a nice happy ending to a not so happy chapter.
So, I really like Scout, I love Ben, and I actually don't like Steve all that much, lol. But I am really enjoying this. It look me long enough to get around to reading it *headdesk* but I do like it a lot.
| some blue december 11/26/09 . chapter 1
Look at me ... reading and reviewing :) I might do every five or so chapters, depending on the size of them, lol. And, depending on time, I might only get out one or two a night. Oh, and I apologise for any typos - my fingers are still going crazy from cranking out nano last night.
“Don’t be a wiseass Scout,” Pony said. “What’s wrong with you?” - I do like that Scout and Pony aren't all that close, lol. It adds a bit of snark like this and it's kind of nice to see. It's real, you know?
They all looked a little hurt, but I was in no position to be tiptoeing around their feelings. - Awh, I totally get that. Poor guys just wanna help her, lol. But, of course, who cares about that kind of thing when you feel crappy? Lol.
They were all over me like a bad rash, pestering me every few hours trying to get me to eat, drink, sleep, take medicine, wake up, or whatever else they could think of. They basically drove me nuts. - I can't help but think this is so cute. All these teenage boys being kind and nice, and the twelve year old with the attitude (I mean that in a good way, lol) saying they were driving her nuts. I really like it.
Soda was just short of giddy to see me feeling better. He was practically bouncing on the bed. - Awh, Soda. He loves his siblings.
“Cereal. With milk. And banana slices.” He smiled like he had whipped up a filet mignon. - I lol'd. That's a great line.
No more than twenty-four hours after I got better, both Pony and Soda got sick. - Pft, and Soda thought she was faking it, lol.
It was just as vicious a bout with the stomach flu as I had just weathered, but they were far more whiney about it than I had been - *coughmanflucough* :P
He was strong enough to fight off anything, be it a linebacker or a germ. - That's because he is awesome.
I don't know if I mentioned it in my review for Epiphany, but it really sucks that their parents died on Scouts birthday. That happened with my grandad on my brothers birthday.
I like that Darry is still at school for now. I don't know why but I always just assumed he'd give it up right away, but I spoose him going back for a while actually makes a whole lot of sense.
I had spent a lifetime avoiding boys who outsized me. - I love that, and I can totally see it, lol
Ah, and Anna makes her appearance. Had I bothered to continue reading after Epiphany, I would have known you had an Anna before I named mine, lol.
Darry seemed to be struggling to fit into his new role as our guardian, and he overreacted to a lot of little stuff the rest of us did wrong or didn’t do at all. Soda and I took it with a grain of salt, but Pony seemed really bothered by it. - Poor Darry. Hardly surprising - both that he's struggling and that he's overreacting about the bad stuff. As for Pony ... well, I like the kid, lol. I can't help but think he's just still adjusting to things not being how they used to be. Adjusting to all the changes.
Usually Ben and I would hang out, watch TV or play basketball – We had an old hoop on the back of our garage that Dad had long ago set up for the boys. - One, I heart Ben. Two, "We" doesn't need to be capitalised.
I get mad when people talk when I’m trying to listen. - Me too! Definitely one of my biggest peeves, lol.
Darry was past me and out the door before I could finish. - He's such a good brother. You're really making me love Darry here. Not that I didn't before, but I'm definitely seeing him in a new "totally awesome big brother" light.
I was actually quite interested to see how you worked Scout into the events of the book and I guess I'm going to find out soon than I had thought. I like how you have her leaving Pony to go and stand with Ben when she notices he's trying not to cry - works as a "boy's don't like girls seeing them cry" thing, and it works well with the book. Only thing that got to me - and that's only because I'm weird - is that in the book, Dal is with the guys when they come across Pony. But like I said, I'm weird, lol, it still worked totally well having him turn up a few minutes later.
Okay, I'm running out of room. I should be able to get aother review out tonight :)
| psychopath convention 9/12/09 . chapter 40
Well, I told you I would read it, and I did. Of course, I loved it! I liked the parts with Tim Shepard (two p's? one? hmm...) I always thought he was an interesting character, and you did a good job with making him nice without him being OOC. Steve is an ass! (Well, he /is/ played by Tom Cruise in the movie...) I really wanted to slap him in this story! I'm not sure if he was quite that mean in the book, but in your fanfic I was ready to kill him. Since I'm not a big Steve fan, I'm don't really care if he's OOC. Ponyboy may have been a wee bit off as well in the beginning, the book portrayed him as a dreamer and sort of sensitive, and that didn't come across so much here. As usual, I love how you write Darry and Soda. Darry's got him a woman! It's about time! I've accepted Scout, and the next time I reread The Outsiders, I'll probably be confused at first. xD haha but great story :)
| LH-C-Powerslave 7/16/09 . chapter 40
Whew...Just finished reading the entire thing. Interesting alternate take of the events in the book. I would have written things very differently, but as I read I realized what you were trying to accomplish. Of course, because Soda is my favorite, his emotional stuff really got to me. There's really just too much to say really. Can't wait to read the next one, and keep up the good work!
| Lo.Taylor 7/6/09 . chapter 18
I'm really glad Darry showed up to her game. I was starting to wonder why no one would go to Scout's games but everyone would go to Darry's.
Scout's thoughts about giving Darry a watch were so sweet. That was a nice tidbit for their dad to have said to Darry; He'll get a watch when he's earned the responsibility. I like that quote. It shows Darry wasn't always a responsible adult and it also hints at the rough(-ish) time the Curtis' had.
| Lo.Taylor 7/6/09 . chapter 12
aww that was really cute!
I'm glad that you didn't make Darry give up everything right away: football, college, and having crushes. Obvious he wouldn't want to give all that up; if it weren't for The Outsiders, we wouldn't expect him to either.
Also, in the earlier chapter, I loved that Scout thinks her dad could be corny. That seems so realistic. Her dad was probably being so dramatic for her sake, maybe thinking she was still a little kid and the fact that she saw through it shows a lot about her personality.
| Birdgirl204 2/3/09 . chapter 40
Damn it, this last chapter made me cry. Twice! Stupid 12-year-old girls, being so emotional . . . .
I did laugh for about 5 minutes straight, though, when Scout cut her hair - I pulled something like that when I was in high school - I was almost 17, I think, and it'd been nearly 5 years since I'd gotten my hair cut; I could sit on it. I hated it, but my mother liked it long and wouldn't let me cut it. I finally convinced her to let me get it cut as long as it came to my shoulders, but she wouldn't take me out to get it done. So, I decided, "oh, fuck this; I'll do it myself", and I did - at school, during lunch or homeroom (they were back-to-back). After that she gave up on it, and then I got it cut super-short and people thought I was a boy for months. I'm super-short; my older brother even confused me with our younger brother, who was 11. And I've been cutting my own hair ever since . . . I tend to use scissors, though.
| halfcent 2/3/09 . chapter 11
It just occurred to me that in the book, though it talks about the fact that Darry had to quit college and football, it wouldn't have been right away. It would have taken him time to come to the decision or realization that he couldn't continue. You're doing a good job of making this very realistic. The only thing I'm having trouble with is Ponyboy. In the book, he's portrayed as a very sensitive, low key person (except when he's arguing with Darry,lol). More of an inward, quiet dreamer than anything. In this fic, I can't help but feel that Scout sees him as contrary and almost mean, the way he reacts around her (which also contradicts the way I feel most siblings feel about each other- I have many, lol). But I always have a little trouble reading fics that are out of canon, and in the book he has no sister. Who knows how he would have acted if he had? Still, those are my own issues, and have taken nothing away from my enjoyment of this story.
| halfcent 2/3/09 . chapter 8
Steve's being such an ass!