This made me smile. I know it's demented, but if you knew, you might or might not understand, but at least you'd know the WHY.

It is difficult to tell someone about something like that.

This was disturbing, but very well written. God, poor James II. I wonder if in your hypothetical and imagined world, James II ever talked to Fred II about what had happened that night. Would Fred II even remember? So many unanswered questions...

Ermm i feel like an idiot for saying this, but if you want to talk leave me a message, theres always people out there for victims. Now, if its just a story i feel like a total idiot, and i understand if you totally ignore this mssage. But i wasn't sure if this was a cry for help or not. X

When I was nine my five years older brother ** me. But I’m pretty sure he would have stopped if I had said no, and I even thought it was kind of cool at the time, we were doing a Grownup thing! But than it really really hurt but I just kept as still as I could and didn’t make a sound because I didn’t want him thinking I was being a baby. We didn’t talk about it afterwards, and it was just that one time, so somehow I managed to forget about it.
Until about three years later on the phone with my friend while she was telling me about how her boyfriend wanted to “do it” but she didn’t know if she wanted to. Suddenly it hit me that I wasn’t a virgin, and just how it happened that I wasn’t one. I said she shouldn’t and hung up on her, and than went to bed hiding under the blanket and spent hours crying away trying to understand how someone I loved so much could do that to me. But than I called him (he was at a sleepover) and just hearing his voice made everything so much better (right then anyway) because it was just like always, he was still the same brother I had always loved and adored. But I couldn’t escape the fact that while he was all that, he had still done something I would have never thought possible for him, and for about half a year I went into a deep depression, still keeping a happy face not letting anyone know how much I was hurting.
At about chrismas time him and me were tease-fighting when suddenly it became real and I was screaming at him, asking him why he would ever do anything to hurt me so bad and saying I wished I were dead. He flinched back as if he had been slapped and had this horribly hurt look on his face I could tell he really had no idea of what I was talking about and right there is one of my worst memories because he really didn’t know and I decided that I would never tell anyone – not that it was him at least- because I still loved him and no matter what he had done in the past, how ever wrong it was, I truly believe he would never have done it if he knew the pain it would cause me. Now I just go by life occasionally wondering if the expression flashing over his face before it blanks whenever the hotel where it happened is mentioned is guilt, and if him offering to do the dishes instead of me is just another way of saying sorry.
I won’t say anything to him, in fear of ripping up scars of guilt, even if I think it might be a step towards healing, an answer to the question which maybe seems obvious, but that I can never seem to get rid of. /How could he?/
Still I have found comfort in a wonderful boy who doesn’t know who it was with (because I fear he would see my brother purely as a culprit) but knows of all the feelings of anguish I care inside because of it, and who slowly together with me has helped me heal, and I’m learning to trust again, I trust that he will take it slow if
I ask him to and stop when I say stop. I trust that he won’t do anything without knowing I’m okay with it, I trust my love in him and my brother, but with him I trust that he will listen.

I wrote all this because I guess it’s still nice to let it out sometimes, and because I got the impression that your story was built on personal experience, and if so I hope that somehow I have helped. If you are James I urge you to do what I can’t- try to talk it out with your “Fred” and find someone close to you to just let out all bottled up feelings –not reveling who it is if Fred is anything like my brother, and seeking professional help, to help you come to terms with what happened and how someone you looked up to so much could do that to you and learning to connect happy thoughts to sex. I also really don’t think it’s wise to bring it out in the open, at least not to many people, that would most likely cause more damage than good.
So either way, purely fantasy or not, this is a very well and /real/ written story and it’s been a pleasure, in the heart wrenching sadness, to read it.

You don't forget. Something may push it to the back of your mind for a while, but it's always there. I consider my encounter very small and insignificant compared to those of people who suffer years of daily abuse, to them it would perhaps barely register. I often feel guilty for it affecting me, because countless others have gone through much worse, but at the end of the day, abuse is abuse. I confronted the person, they belittled me and called me a liar. Bringing things into the open doesn't heal the wound, although it might set you on the road to acceptance, the only path to take if you're to move forward. The only people who know are that person and me, they know what i think of them and that'll have to suffice, why hurt other people unnecessarily?

One can be surprised to know how many secrets a child's innocent mind can keep. For some reason I feel for both the children involved, because I can imagine that the other side of the story would be harsh too. A life of guilt for Fred is all that I can imagine, because unlike James he was at an age where he would understand and remember his life better.

However, at the same time it makes me shudder with disgust and repulsion that how can he have done that. It reminds me of a line from Margaret Atwood's novel 'Cat's Eye' that to children, other children are not cute and innocent. Instead they are 'life-sized' and parents sometimes tend to forget that when they were the same age, as their children are, they went through certain things that would apply to their children in a similar fashion.

It was a very well written story and I hope to read more stuff from you in the future.

I just wanted to say that this is very well done and unfortunatly realistic. I have gone through a scenario quite similar to this and have, myself, never mentioned it to anyone. Thank you for writing this... even though it's a fictional character it helps to see this from someone elses point of view. Those questions never do get answered.

This is some very good writing, made you feel the disgust of that person, and sorry for the innocent person it happened to.

If I wa in that possition, I think I tell somebody i trusted, not neccesery an Adult just a friend, tell him that you don't have to mention the name. Just to share the problem would make it feel a little easier.

Bless Poor James.

This is soo... dark and very powerful. I really loved it.

sad. :( but good writing.

I thought that this is a very realistic and heart-wrenching portrayal. Kids are so good at repressing things, at forgetting what has scarred them. It is only when we get older and wiser that the memories come back to haunt us.

This was very well written, but it's somehow... discusting. Which again can be seen as a compliment, because you've written it very uhm authentic. It's so depressing, that things like this happen so often to children, and then they won't be able to talk about it. I feel so sorry for James. This is going to press on his shoulders for a very long time. I just hope he can cope with it someday.
Oh, I'm so sad now... *sniff*