So very sad... :(

Wow. This story was nothing but one brilliant tragedy, from beginning to end. But for the record, I thought it was fabulously designed, and as much I wish there'd been some kind of happy ending in there, I loved it all nonetheless. And you know you've got an interesting story when I'm still up at six in the morning and reviewing...

I kind of figured this would end with something bad happening to Axel and all, but Sora's presence did throw m for a loop. I wasn't suprised by the whole thing with Roxas, but the very end does have me curious. He finally broke Axel by making him call him 'Sora' but I didn't really understand why he jumped. Besides that I kept up with it pretty well.

That's so sad. You can really feel Axel's loneliness and determination to find Roxas. His hopelessness was heartbreaking.

I wonder where the real Roxas disappeared to. That just adds a whole new level of sadness if Roxas was somewhere waiting for Axel to rescue him, while Axel chases Sora to just see what looks like Roxas.

wow, that was...
cold.

why no happy ending?
i am so broken inside for axel.
can they not just be together?
:(

Okay, so .. I think I started reading this shortly after I finished TU? But .. I remembered how much it upset Michele and I think a part of me didn't want the opportunity to cry more than I already had, ha. But .. I've read almost the entire thing in one sitting, and now that I've slept and thought and contemplated what I was going to say, I think I'm ready to leave a review?

Didn't you say you wrote this just to see how much you could make people feel?

I think the only thing I can say is .. I'm completely and utterly deflated. At first I wasn't really sure where Axel was going to end up, or if he was going to find Belle. But then it became all about Roxas, as I'm sure it was meant to be from the very beginning -- and I lost all pretense of anything I'd been thinking about before. The agony he brought upon himself trying to free the boy from the throne, the physical pain he endured just to even -see- Roxas again .. it's almost unfathomable, because I can't imagine someone ever going to that much trouble to find -me- if I suddenly disappeared. The complete love and devotion Axel had for him .. it breaks my fucking -heart- to know it ended like this. It really, really does.

Though, could I ask a question? Why did he disappear in the first place? I wondered that from the very beginning, seeing as it was only said that people from Hollow Bastion were disappearing? And since he'd been looking for him for three straight years .. I'm just curious, is all. I know, obviously it has to have something to do with Sora? Because why else would he want to be -called- Sora? I just .. I want to understand to the full capacity, I guess, ha .. I don't want to miss anything that everyone else might already know.

That being said .. I'm trying so very hard not to break down into a puddle of tears right now. I was lonely to begin with, for whatever reason that happens to me on a regular basis -- and this just added to it? I knew I was going to end up a quivering mass of emotion by the time I'd finished just because .. I had a feeling. -And- I remember Michele crying over it. So, I guess, really, that made me figure out that I was going to be swept under too, since I get entirely too immersed in things to begin with.

Why is it that every time I read something of yours, I feel the need to write something myself? I know I've said reading TU was what got me back into writing O to begin with .. but now, it's like the only thing I have that compares, and doesn't even hold a candle to this is Clean Slate -- with regards to the sadness factor, more or less -- and that's nothing! I've wanted for so long to be able to write something that instills this utter sense of loss and .. heartbreaking reality that nothing will ever change it? Does that make sense? Maybe .. I don't know! -pulls hair out- I know I have no reason to say that I'm not a good writer, because I really am starting to believe that I've gotten much better in the past year, at least -- but you put anything I could ever even think of to shame, and that doesn't bother me? Because it gives me someone to look up to, to ask for help when -I- need it .. and even though this has absolutely nothing to do with the story itself, I felt the need to make sure you knew that. Har.

Okay, what else .. agh, I'm just so heartbroken. But I think I needed this -- because every once in a while I need something that doesn't end happily for them, I guess to make me see that it's still possible for the unwanted to happen because that's just how the world works ..

Why do I feel like I'm rambling? Oh, right .. because I -am- ..

Well, I think I've said enough, anyways? Possibly, ha. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say in the first place, so I just started typing, even though I'd thought about it like I said .. but this was so fucking brilliant, and -sad-, I can't even begin to describe the aching in my chest. I have to say, yet again, that I fucking adore your Axel, however you write him -- because he always has so much love for Roxas, despite how hopeless it may be. I can only ever hope to reach this sort of understanding with my muses, so maybe I can write something like this one of these days .. I don't know if that will -ever- happen, but hey, a girl can dream, can't she? :D

I can never seem to tell you enough how amazing I think you are, can I? I don't think so. You're bloody brilliant, a fucking mastermind when it comes to matters of the heart and ways of pulling my heart strings just enough to make the tears spring to my eyes well more than once in the same bloody story. I started sniffling when I thought Oathkeeper was going to fall prey to the wolves the first time that night in the forest -- I didn't want anything bad to happen to her! But I guess it had to happen, didn't it? Yeah .. And let's not forget the way Axel just seemed to .. crumple at Roxas' feet when he finally found him. And to be completely content with just staying there, content with just -finding- him and finally being with him at long last -- yeah, that made me cry, too. As well as the fucking latter fourth of the whole thing. I'm a blubbering mess, and it's a wonder I'm even able to type right now -- even though as I said, I've slept since finishing it .. I think that may have been why I had a dream about being alone, and not being able to find anyone .. ah well, I have those dreams quite often, actually .. it's no big deal! Ha.

Arr, okay. I need to shut up. I'd thought I was going to draw this to a close once I reached the 50 character mark but I seem to just .. keep going, don't I? Almost down to 40 and I'm still not shutting up. Anyway .. goddamn, woman. I just want to live in your brain for a little while, get some ideas for -something- I can give myself that puts me somewhere around your level. Maybe I just need to take some writing classes? But that would involve going back to school, and spending money I don't have, and all of that BULLSHIT .. and then I get depressed and forget all about it! Ha! So I'll just have to be content with being mediocre when it comes to writing, as near as I can tell, for the time being -- and I think I am content with that, seeing as I've already said that I've realized I've improved just the smallest bit? I'm rambling again. Jesus christ, just stop reading, will you? Or I'll just keep talking.

I'd be embarrassed for writing this much, but you know how long-winded I can be, from my comments on dA and such. I'll just say again that this was heartbreakingly wonderful .. and I loved it. I will continue to love it. And you, of course. :D Because no one else would let me ramble this much and still want to have anything to do with me! Heh. You're amazing.

And I'm finally shutting up. Promise.

what the hell.

no, srsly, like, what the fuck?!

AHAGHGHHG WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT!?

(omfg you know you're an amazing writer when you make ppl want to smash their brand new computers and jump into cyberspace and somehow change the fates of non-existant characters with every fibre of their beings)

no, omfg Lauren, YOUR WRITING IS THE EPIPHANY OF INCREDIBLE. LIKE, FUCK. IT'S AMAZING.
you're writing is absolutely flawless, i got so attached to the characters, you made them all so REAL. even Tifa and Cid i got to thinking 'oh i hope they ended up alright in the end' because you just passed some crazy line of turning writing into something so freaking REAL it messes with the readers brain.
like now, im depressed. your writing is amazing. im gonna be thinking about this story for the next couple of days, just processing it and mulling it over, like i ended up doing with Water and TU, and WtWTA.
like, im going to ponder over what really happened to Roxas, and what Sora's real story is, and what Axel's consciousness is like being Sora's toy-thing, the whole thing just leaves me with a very unjustified feeling, i wanted things to turn out happy for Axel, having put so much pain and effort and love into everything... and then he gets a fate like that. it's so cruel.

woman, you are incredible. you have a true, remarkable talent UGH IT BURNS IMAGES IN MY BRAIN THAT I FEEL NEED TO DRAW T_T

tho i've only read four of your stories, they all left me with a very unsettled feeling. i felt very jipped of any happiness whatsoever, for this one it was okay, because that was the overall theme of the story, and the ending fit perfectly, and it was very well done.
i'd just like to read a... happier? story from you some time xD
your writing is so saturated with LIFE and EMOTION i can't help but read it, it's incredible to find writing that is so perfectly balanced and GOOD. I get so caught up in your writing, i dont read words, i just see a movie play out in my mind and feel whatever the characters are feeling. an amazing experience. i love it.
unfortunately my lame brain can only take so much angst and pain T_T
but holy hell, if that is your style and what you write best, DO NOT CHANGE i am in absolute LOVE with your stuff, and will read more as soon as my brain rejuvenates xD

uhg. your writing in incredible. it amazes me every time i read something of yours, AW POOR AXEL IS ALL SORE AND HURT AND MISSING HIS ROXAS SO BADLY IT MAKES ME WANNA CRY ;_;
ima gonna click 'next chapter' now, and i'm prepared to be depressed. i heard this was a sad story.
-grabs tissue box-
SAD OR NOT I GOTTA READ IT CAUSE ALL YOUR STORIES ARE AMAZING AND READING I SHALL DO >:D
<3

You have no idea how happy this story makes me. ^^ I'm seriously uplifted by it. I can't offer much of a criticism, but I can say that I liked how you paced the story. It seemed so natural, and yet surreal (in a good way) at times, that I couldn't help but being giddy and then worried etc. It was like an emotional rollercoaster that you sort of want to keep on riding to feel the adrenalin... or endorphins... I don't remember. Anyway, I loved it and you did a fantastic job!

That was so sad but amazingly written.. T.T


I'm really bad at writing reviews XD

Utterly amazing. There are so many details to this story that it astounds me, but you don't ever overdo it. Also, the people that you incorporate makes make sense without bringing in over-used characters or annoying OC's. Kudos to you on that.
It amazes me that you can make a one-shot longer than many people's multiple-chapter stories, but you do so and make it so perfect. This story is officially one of my favorites.

~Kitsune Alchemist

What?

I liked it, a lot actually, but what?

Sora?

Really?

Majorly confused...

Damn... That was just... freaky. Absolutely amazing, but disturbing none-the-less.

A tragedy. A horror. A romance.
Very suspenseful, emotional, and extreamly well written... as usual.
Your writing is just as enthralling as ever, you'll be glad to hear, and this dark/morbid/tragic turn is rather... addictive.
It's like... being afraid, but being unable to turn away because it draws you in. ...Very much like the entrance to the labyrinth.

You've once again beaten your own standard. I don't believe that you've ever repulsed and captivated an audience as you have with this piece. It's a horrifying story in its self, but it's astounding just how... real you've made it.

With your writtings I don't see words or sentences, I see a film playing before my mind's eye. Authors who write with such natural grace are hard to find.

Another great work. Another story for the people.
Light yourself another candle, it's the least that you're due.

~The Critic, Zoa

That must be what a coffin smells like. A coffin filled with roses. I want my coffin filled with white roses. Like Hyde in Secret Letters. That is like my ideal funeral.

Hm – this dreamscape reminds me of three things all at once. The first is of course secret letters with the trapped within walls and then being free of them. The second is the Princess and the Goblin with her following the thread from her Great, great, great, great grandmother through the goblin’s underground cavern, and the third is in FFXII I believe. That field of illusion where you must make you way from temple to temple in order to make your way out and into the next area.

Aw – poor firewielder. Cold is not your friend eh? At least it beats dehydration and heatstroke though?

Hm – see here’s the thing. If the world is stifling in the sun… and awesomely cool in the shadows… but there is nothing really *living * in the shadows, giving them a false sense of peacefulness… then it strikes me as the shadows not being a good place to be.

NO. Bad Axel – if the horse outright refuses to go you do not under any circumstances *dismount* and go check it out on your own! That is like horror movie etiquette rule number one – up there with never wear heels, noises are never just the wind, and try not to get separated from the group – even if only to pee! Animals are like little kids – if they say something is weird, wrong, or iffy – you TRUST THEM.

Yeah. All hunters know that if you wait by the water source your prey will *always* come to you eventually.

Esh… this is sounding somewhat awesome from an exploratory POV but realy sketch from a … survivalist POV. It kinda reminds me of the chill I get when you are in the woods behind my house in the winter when the sun sets – it’s like this automatic and hugely disheartening drop in temperature that can catch you entirely by surprise. You know what he needs? Glowing trees! I was watching Advent Children over lunch and had to stop right after the battle in the forest when Valentine saves Cloud so it’s kinda on my brain. Glowing trees would be very helpful in such thick darkness. Most definitely.

BAH! That’s fanfuckingtastic. You described it so well without even mentioning the trees that my mind went right the fuck there! :D Awesomeness.

Uh . . . it comes to my attention that as this appears to be Vincent and Kudaj’s forest… perhaps it would be best to *not* drink the water… Jenova cells and inky blackness and all that… plus like tens of children have stepped in it with their gross little muddy feet. Ick.

VINCENT! :D:D:D:D:D:D I love Vincent!

Ohh – perhaps he should be a little more specific. Long brown hair is rather common. I mean even I have long brown hair… as does Lucrecia and Belle.

Haha – was right~! :D Is Vincent really a brunet? I thought he had black hair?

Oh shit. And this is why you never leave the damn horse ALOnE to go off in search of anything in a creepy haunted wood! Fuck on a stick.

“It didn’t look like it should have it she’d managed to yank free;” should have an “if” instead of ‘it’ :P

Heartless. It’s gotta be. Claws and all. :S Well shit.

Haha – I love how cryptic Vincent is and how Axle is just like… The fuck? Speak sense man! – aw! Poor Oathie :’(

Oh wow – that is so sad! :( Poor Vincent. He just has this fatalistic air of hopelessness around him. You make him out to be like a wraith. Unable to go or stay or do anything of consequence really. Just *existing* in some kind of twilight between alive and dead. Poor boy :(

Hm – just like Roxas. Lucrecia is talking and only Vincent can hear her. How interesting.

Oh wow – is that the doorway to the world’s heart? That can’t be good. ROXIE may be in there! Go go go! What is death if not another great adventure – and if it gives a chance at finding his someone?... So why hasn’t Vincent been in there yet if Lucrecia has been calling for him?

Ahh – the whole *Damned* thing. Gotcha. Wow. I reaaly liked this section. So much angst and philosophy and just general brilliance. I’m kinda at the point where it’s like = ahh fuck it – if we’re gonna die we’re gonna die but it might as well be exploring the doorway! :D

I’d be nervous too entering a place that the only source f information had declared to be my final resting place. Natural aversion to death, being forced into my own anyway, and all that ;S

Smells like Death to me. That’s the smell. Roses were always favoured as coffin dressings not for their beauty so much as their deep, rich, musky aroma that mingles with and is uniquely good at overriding the scent of decomposing flesh. Yet another reason Valentine’s day always amuses me because I will never see a rose apart from the counterpart of the lily as the floral symbol for death.

I don’t trust those roses.

Lol - 15 year old could enter. Cute ;)

Hum – it’s the dream place. Looks like he had a touch of the fey about him :) Precognitive dreaming and all that – or intervention at the very least :)

. . . Axel…. She shouldn’t know that.

Oh wow – Roxie! :D But how can that be? How could he be alive in a place like this? So many questions – though I suppose only one real course of action in any case?

It’s like Snow… or Aurora. Both spelled to deepest slumber as in death until the arrival of their prince – but you would never deliver such a simple happy ending would you?

Oh dear. Unwrap darling – not tearing! Unwrap the little suckers. Srsface. Oh dear. This is not a good thing. I wonder who called him in that direction then? And how long will Vincent really wait for? Shit son.

He’s gonna die soon :( Three days is the limit without water and it has definitely passed or is nearing that point. It’s a rather nice way to go though I suppose - between waking and dreaming in a place of fate and power?

This has to be illusion though? I mean it must be. Like sirens or the willofthewisp or all manner of cruel and puckish trick played by the creatures of myth and history?

Tickling is not good when you have lost all feeling in a limb. Like when we are out in the cold for too long and your hands go numb – you put them under the water and you cannot tell the difference between cold, warm, or *scalding*

Disclaimer: If you owned such a ginormous pool I would take up residence in it and never leave :) Axel’s hair *is* really spikey btw - craziness! LMAO btw – self-directed sadism is my new favourite term! :D I can’t believe I had all but forgotten about this story! To be fair – fate *was* conspiring against me rather agregiously what with the exams and then just as I am nearing the finish my computer died – only to be reanimated right around the new start of the winter semester and all the joy *that* brings :P Anywho – I love you and I am so sorry for not getting to this sooner! :D My deepest apologies oh brilliant geniustastic one! *bows*

Aw! You always make my heart squeeze just a little tighter :) I love you so much darling – happy one year! :heart:

Lolz – stop being so mean to yourself :P Honestly – I think you are not able to objectively judge your own writing :P You are hard too far