Not many 14 year olds say 'golly'. Unless this is the 50's. Be realistic here. Don't reply.

The story would've been good if you didn't include the whole cheating senario. You pretty much went off topic with the whole story's point. The main focus should be Arthur and his job.

Not Arthur deals with being cheated on.

Also, be realistic. Use google to see what jobs a 14 year old can get.

Well... both of those two jobs are way to simular. I would have thought that there would have been more variation in them. And most teenagers would not jump at either of the jobs but look for others first... and from what I've heard... being bus boy is definatly not a very exciting job...

like it so far