this is very powerful writing can't wait for the last chap

amazing chapter! I have my own theory on the "why" of Dean's suffering for so long, like he had to learn to reach out for God, or some such thing like that! Anyway, a great chapter, I love how Castiel is trying to help Dean, now if Dean would only let someone do that for him!

plz update! this is so sad!but very well written!

Remember how much I raved about last chapter? Yeah, double it Some awesome, insightful yet hurting questions from Dean, and some blank spots Castiel and God still have to fill in. Seeing Dean so vunerable, so broken..meh, I'm tearing up just reading this. I cannot wait for the next chapter!

Wow...this is so much more awesome than the one I'm trying to write right now XD Seriously, your Dean is amazing. A ton of very powerful, very real emotions here, and you do them very well. Just that one word, to change everything- To see Dean struggling so much to hold onto what is right, asking God for help...wonderful

Well that was a perfectly, wonderfully, sneaky thing to do. I'd go with brilliant. All a dream and a test. Cas gave Dean back his freewill, but does that help Dean? Is it going to show him he really is strong or reinforce just how weak he thinks he is?

You write Dean's despair very well, I can feel the waves of it pouring off him. His thoughts dark, his bitterness at himself almost touchable. You're doing a great job with that and I'm looking forward to more.

great

I'm curious to hear how Catiel answers Dean's question.

Thanks for the message.

More snow, made the national news. LOL!

Take care.

Wow this fic is intense! Dean's anguish is palpable and many times I share his frustrations at Castiel's cryptic answers as much as I like the angel. I'm not sure how Kripke plans to fix Dean after the war is over since without a purpose to make him go through each day I don't know how he'll handle the guilt consuming him.

This took an unexpected turn. As much as I admire Dean and his determination not to become a torturer - a demon, I didn't think he would be able to return to the rack.

I loved this: "He set his mind to resisting, to not falling into that trap again if for no other reason then he knew how it would feel. How it would tear through his insides and make him wish he couldn’t feel anything... Make him pray to a God that he knew didn’t exist so all the pain and shame and guilt would stop squeezing his heart and burning through his eyes like acid." So, I guess that's why ;)

Great chapter - I'm really liking this take on Dean's time in Hell. Until next time...

This one's going to be a heart-breaker. One of the general beliefs about Hell is that it is personal - taking one's greatest fears and making them reality. So it is here. Dean Winchester is a protector against evil, whether for Sam or any other person who needs protecting. His revelation to Sam at the end of "Heaven and Hell" just killed me because it goes against his very nature. I can truly understand why Dean is broken, why he wishes he couldn't feel anything anymore. It's so difficult for me to imagine Dean in this kind of role, so imagine how hard it is for Dean to know he did this.

You've done a great job in showing how Dean began his first torture. Of course Alistair would give Dean a cocky, brazen, defiant soul to torture and break. It would be like Dean breaking himself all over again. More to love in a demon's mind.

Looking forward to seeing where you take this. Until next time...

Hi, interesting story , first you break Dean and then the total opposite direction. But maybe Dean must ask for rescue ? Please update soon.

That was a great ending to that chapter. I really liked how the man who decided to pray to God for forgiveness - AFTER he'd found himself in Hell, where we would assume he deserved to be - wasn't delivered from the torture. And even though we know Dean won't be delivered for another ten years, God must have heard him ask for help. After all, Dean doesn't deserve to be in Hell. And I like the idea that it was his asking for help that finally delivered him.

Great stuff!

Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings to you too. great chapter

You have a Merry Christmas too.

I'll talk to you later.

Take care.