such emotion

*bows*

Goodness! This is absolutely LOVELY. The uh..what'd my lit teacher call it? Indirect free speech? Well, whatever it was, is really well done. The hopelessness of the Longbottoms is really well conveyed, and the fear and confusion of baby Neville is just so...so...ENDEARING and "Tugging At My Heartstrings". Yeah. The ending was so...so...PAINFUL. Oh God. To have such a little boy, half witnessing his parents being tortured. No wonder he's what he is now. I hate Rowling. Neville's always been one of my favourite characters. Oh the emotional trauma the poor dear's been through.

Neville's a good character; the POV was very effective - disjointed enough, but vivid in description, rather like memory. I liked it. It's a compelling and consistent one-shot ^_^

IMP

Wow! This was intense. At first I wasn't going to read this until I read the reviews and thought I had to read it. They were right. It is very gripping. I also thought at first I would not like the stream of consciousness style, but it fit what you were trying to create: A sense of the intense, jumping around, agony of the suffering. There was only one place I got a little confused: "'Did they say anything, Mrs. Longbottom? Did [you?] bringing him help?'" Sorry, I must be really tired, but I cannot follow this line. Is there a word missing? Anyway, I'm sure it's just me. Good work. Keep writing. Mark.

Awesome fic, as usual. You are an amazing writer. I'm not even a particular Neville fan, but I think I am now. This was so sad!

I thought this was written very well, though it is a bit depressing. The most realistic stuff usually is.
I also read No Higher Praise and adore it! Still waiting on the next chapter of that... Good work! *pat*

Wonderful. The confused language... it mirrors the confusion of a Death Eater attack perfectly, and all the emotions in this come across strongly even though you don't ever say "he felt" or something along those lines - frankly, you don't have to. Brilliant!

This fanfic has sent me to tears (I assure you that has NEVER happened before). I've always found Neville's story about his parents very tragic, and you've put the agonizing emotion into flowing words flawlessly. Oh, the gloom! The gloom! Poor Neville..

wow that was really good ::amazed:: you should write more fics your writing style is like all the authors i like (j.k., brian jacques, louis sacher, tolkein just to mention a few..) if you write like a whole lot maybe you'll be famous someday. and then i'll say i reviewed one of your stories when you where young. cool ;~D

I thought the "confusion" was very effective in drawing people into Neville's POV. Sad though ):

Wow. Just wow. The blurred jumble of words towards the middle-- everyone talking-- the whole thing, really-- just incredibly powerful. I'm impressed.J

*angry with self for not reviewing at first*

This piece was so darn SAD!! That part stood out quite clearly. I think I liked the beginning best; usually I don't like description -- gimme the dialogue and moving ball -- but yours was short and vivd. "Four dark shadows, robed in black, towering to the roof. Black as darkness itself, hard and cold as ice, devastatingly real against the dim, wavering background of walls, windows, and overturned furniture." That was all, and all needed.

I think the end might've been a little less confusing if you had used "s. I understand the style you were trying to create, but it did get a little confusing. (As if I should talk.)

Poor lil' Neville. That was so sweet. "Good-bye." Such a resounding ending.

The idea that Mrs. Longbottom was pregnant (that was what was implyed, right?) was also very tear-jerking. I hope you're happy that you made me cry. And describing the Crutiacus Curse as "a Death Eater's toy"... wow.

Very good job. How soon will the rest of that Neville fiction be finished?

-- R.D. (the Green-Eyed Lady)

Nicely done - I haven't seen many forays into the mind of Neville, so kudos for the vision!

This was really well done. The point of view of poor little Neville was a really creative way to write this story. It really made me feel sad for the little guy. Keep up the writing! (Maybe another story about Neville? He doesn't get enough stories.) ^_^

I really liked his, and no, your writing style isn't terrible!