 PutMoneyInThyPurse 2008-12-13 . chapter 1I love the title!
"But some little part of her told her it was something else... something she'd forgotten from long ago, when she had discovered her desire for freedom. [Oh, yes! I like the ida that she's also different form the start...] That little anomaly had been swiftly drummed out of her by her supervising technicians. [Great! Very nicely explained, I like the 'swiftly drummed', and the supervising techs, and also the spectre of the Repair Ward!] No robot was supposed to stray from its' [its, its, please! It's=it is. Its=possession. Your usage=your correct instincts fighting against being corrupted by the internetz.] directive.
She did.
And she had a feeling he did too.
oh, PERFECT! I love the way you put these lines each in its own little short paragraph, with the parallel 'she did/he did'. It really makes much more sense of their relationship than the lame 'boy-meets-girl' we see in canon. You've forever changed my perception of it, and I think you for that! |