...nice...evil little squirt...you do need to update...otherwise...heheheh, Ash needs to hook back up with Misty, they are the cutest couple...but Misty's seeing Gary...GARY of all people...wow...

Max is still... I mean, MORE evil??

You gotta update the chapter, it's getting exciting!

Nice story, you should make more advanceshipping moments :P

Oh, so you do have a sequel, huh? Well, I'm already impressed with what you've written. I loved Mrs. Ketchum's reactions to what everything that had happened, those were pretty funny to read and it was so sad to read that flashback, poor Ash, I'm not Misty fan, but I feel bad. But, at least he has May. I loved Norman's talk with Ash, that was funny and it's so sweet to hear they're both going to Sinnoh together with Max!

What was up with Max and the scissors? I have an idea, but it doesn't seem like Max. Anyways, great first chapter, you've set up for a great sequel with a lot of potential and I cannot wait to read more of this fantastic story. Great work and I hope that we can all read some more soon!

~Bunny

please update i dieing to know what happens next

Nice start, I wonder why Max took those scissors...
Update soon!

Nice Chapter!

Has the King of Pokelantis taken over Max? Oh well, suspense is good.

Pls. update soon

Hm, I must say, this story is already getting off on the right foot. I loved the parents reactions, especially Carolines. Not lacking on much, just some bits of detail and length of course. But thats ok, first chapter and whatnot.
Yeah, so Ima late on finding this, but I got it and it's really nice and seems to be doing good so far. Keep up the good work, dude.
Update soon plz!;)
~NN44

aw, I love Norman's reaction and what would Max be doing with a pair of scissors?

? wats with the scissors? AND YAY A SEQUAL! -glomps writer- Still confused about the scissors... -sigh- and ma fav couple! update soon k? Ja ne ^_^

haha nice cliffy! i really like the beginning of this story, its a good sequel to 'The Darkness Within'.
Much Love
Ella
xx

It's nice to see you back in action, NRI. I remember reading the psychothriller that this is a sequel to, and I know that this will of similiar caliber if you keep the effort up(and errors down).

Somehow, I don't think that Misty is romantically interested in Gary(mostly due to seeing him as nothing more than one of Ash's rivals for the two-and-a-half year time span that they rarely interacted in). If you're looking for a boyfriend for Misty, then you can't possibly go wrong with Dorian(he of the Coastline Gym episode in late Master Quest, and whom Misty went out of her to way to impress with her abilities), whom Misty adulates in spades and is very likely to maintain a correspondence with her now that she is officially the Cerulean City Gym leader.

Some questions(you don't have to answer them *out loud*, but an idea of what you're up to with regards to them might be nice):

Why did Max take the scissors? That's got to be the most random thing I've seen you write.

I wonder what pokemon Ash, May, and Brock will take with them to Sinnoh(aside from Pikachu and May's Combusken/Blaziken). Also, what pokemon (if any) will you have have them catch?

Will Ash-tachi encounter any rivals during the course of this story? If so, will any of them have been from the canon?

I'd wager that the 'voice' would be the strange entity from the end of TDW. If so, then how far will you have this creature take its revenge, if in fact that is what is going on? Or is Ash just slowly starting to go crackers on us?

I eagerly await your next entry.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned.

So you finally got the sequel started, and it's a good start at that.

I have to say that you did a great job with the reactions of their parents when Ash and May (and Max) told them that they were a couple. Delia and Caroline's were the best of them all. Delia in nearly forgetting the reason that she was yelling at Ash in the first place and Caroline simply due to the fact that she goes from being almost against the idea that May had already chosen her first boyfriend to perfectly fine and approving the fact that they were together.

And you left several very nice cliffhanger parts throughout the chapter. Ash's dream, his previous love with Misty, and the final one that has almost every review wondering the scissors that Max borrowed.

All to be expected from your work, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter. Keep the updates coming!

Yay! Finally! Cool story!

Max is either trying to seperate Ash and May *Literally* Or he's turned evil *Gasp*