Like the other reviewers, the way you wrote this was superb. From the very first line was I hooked! There are many beautiful lines in the story, and also some very nice moments. Such as when Susan is hit on/attacked by those boys, and Peter feels the urge to go after them. Very in character for Peter's character.

Brilliant story, and I hope you write more Peter/Susan. We need more high quality stories about them!

heart.erratic

Aww...that was so sweet... i love you technique in writing!

ok, i know the whole brother/sister thing is a little disturbing i have to admit but its just a story after all. now, your story has alot of emotion and feeling to it. like a bitter/sweet turmoil within both pevensies, good job.