If I'm going to be completely and utterly honest, I can't like it :(

Mostly because it is about suicide, and STOP. WRITING. MORBID. THINGS! lol

Rhythm slightly off in places. Its not the RHYME scheme, its just the rhythm. It seems "choppy" sometimes, you know?

But the poem itself is actually well-written, but the subject matter= "-_- O Goddamnit"

Write a happy poem! Please? Or at least one that doesn't involve death? lol

did he just kill himself?

Great poem! I really enjoyed it! You're right, very Poe, especially that last line! Merry Christmas!