This was very... Captivating. I haven't read any of your stories besides this one, and if all are like this, or better, you have a great future in writing my friend. I hope that you will use your talent to make a(n) amazing book.

I couldn't find any grammar, punctuation, etcetra, mistakes in your story; so congratulations on that success.

I think that if this happens in the third book, the author must have looked at your fanfiction and saw inspiration in your idea(s) for the story. I would have had as well. Keep up the good work, and don't loose your passion for writing. It burns more than even the largest flame.

Arrra

That was AMAZING! Sounds like something I would write. Deep, as one of my reviewers would say. 376 STORIES! DANG! I'm focusing on reading every single story from each title, and then writing a fanfic about it. Every story helps the writer and reviewer. This was a really good chapter. No grammer issues as far as i could tell, story line was of the chain! as my mom says. Ummm...this was just a perfectly well written story. No critism. thinks i spelled that right. ;) This would make a really good "story" with chapters. But this is also a very good place to end it.