|Reviews for An Organ of Fire|
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 13
"Did you really play live game of Wizard's Chess?" - "Did you really play a live game of Wizard's Chess?"
"out the port trellis entrance and across the dark field of snow to Hagrid's hut." - 'out the portcullis entrance and across the dark field of snow to Hagrid's hut.'
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 11
"rather like a Muggle police station such as the ones he had toured with his primary school class back when he lived with the Dursley's." - 'rather like a Muggle police station such as the ones he had toured with his primary school class back when he lived with the Dursleys.'
What is with the nausea Hermione experienced, though?
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 8
"landing a direct blow to Harry's cheek bone." - 'landing a direct blow to Harry's cheekbone.'
What kind of a job is Sirius doing, in this fic? some kind of consulting work for the aurors? Or is he an actual auror?
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 7
"Just then, someone cleared their throat, rather loudly. They broke apart quickly. From the edge of the balcony, Snape gave them an apathetic look. "If you two don't mind, there is important business to be discussed. But then we wouldn't want the investigation of the attack on our school to stand in the way of a terminal case of puppy love, would we?" Turning on his heel, he headed back into the castle." - Severus Snape is still as big a git as ever, I see.
"Draco Malfoy doesn't have enough brains to be even Voldemort's pawn, Harry... "One doesn't need brains to be Voldemort's key to re-entering the world. I think that Wormtail proved that." - Point well made, IMO.
"Harry slathered jam onto a piece of toast." - What kind of jam, please?
Oh dear...(Little Harry just ran from his mom's room after catching Harry and his mom in bed together.)
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 6
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" She watched, helpless, as the greenish light shot out of Voldemort's wand. It hit Harry square in his chest. He threw his head back and screamed in agony." - It cannot be a proper AK, as those do not cause pain, it just kills off the soul.
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 5
"Canary Creams." The gargoyle thought the password over before revealing the secret door that led to Dumbledore's tower." - Yay for prof. Dumbledore making the password a Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes product!
"Dumbledore clapped his hands and a plate of ham and chicken sandwiches appeared." - Prof. McGonagall also conuured a plate of those for Harry and Ron in COS. Do you think it is the default meal that Hogwarts Castle herself supplies whenever a staff member conjures food, or wants food?
"I wonder if he looked this way when he killed..." Harry stopped. "To accuse a wizard of another wizard's death is a serious thing, Harry." Dumbledore finished his dinner and waved his hand to clear away the plate and goblet. "There are things you need first. Evidence...proof...witnesses. All those wonderful Muggle ideas that just happen to be our way, too." He shook his head. "If only the boy could see how much alike we all are." - Hehehe.
"He handed him the box of treats. "Mind the toffee, unless you'd like to have a foot-long tongue." The boy looked delighted at the prospect." - Hehehe.
"If it's Quidditch, my answer is..." Harry sighed. "'No'. I know." "...yes," she finished. Harry blinked. Hermione continued, "It's all he ever thinks about. And I'd rather him learn from you than from some sixteen year old boy next year." He smiled. "I learned from a sixteen year old boy." "You also nearly choked on the Snitch during your first game." She poked his chest." - AW!
"Do you know how many people were suspected to be Harry's father? Everyone had a theory...my personal favorite was that it was Draco Malfoy." Harry looked utterly horrified. "The very idea of being with him is so repulsive to me that it's almost comical." - EW!
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 4
"Professor Snape took her role and placed the Sorting Hat on each first year student." - If I were a new firstie that would have scared me to death right there.
" All of the Weasley's were placed into Gryffindor;" - ' All of the Weasleys were placed into Gryffindor;'.
"She had trusted him, completely and unwavingly." - 'She had trusted him, completely and unwaveringly.'
"she pulled the covers over her head as if she could shut the entire world out." - What kind of covers are they? Just a duvet or comforter? Blankets and sheets?
"but I'm pleased to say we are one of now three magic schools that provide wages and basic worker's rights to..." - 'but I'm pleased to say we are one of now three magic schools that provide wages and basic workers' rights to..."
"Eyes like the Quidditch green," she muttered. "Please...they're far more like emeralds." She blinked all of the sudden, as though she had forgotten herself. Quickly, she tore up the note and tossed the pieces into the fireplace. Gathering her books, she left the classroom. But a single thought plagued her all the way back to her apartment. She could remember, all too well, exactly what it was like to run her fingers through that tousled hair." - AW!
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 3
"May I come in at least?" "You can say whatever it is you need to say from the hallway," Hermione replied, a bit more harshly than she had intended. Harry glanced down the corridor. At the far end, Snape stood, apparently straining to hear what was going on at Hermione's door. Upon being spotted, he hurriedly unlocked his own apartment and disappeared into it." - Hehehe, when did Severus Snape become such a busybody?
"he spent the better part of the morning pouring over the new book in the staff room," - That should be: 'he spent the better part of the morning poring over the new book in the staff room,' and I hope to Merlin he is making notes somewhere on a couple of pieces of parchment or even in a muggle notebook too or putting muggle post-its with notes on them in the book as he goes along, reading...
"but even he can be out-voted by the council." - 'but even he can be outvoted by the council.'
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 2
What happens now, while he is at Hogwarts, to the cottage Harry was living in in the previous chapter?
"Hermione started for the port trellis entrance." - 'Hermione started for the portcullis entrance.'
"I have an idea. Why don't you and Harry head Gryffindor together? It's a tad unorthodox, but we are a progressive school." - They are? (a progressive school, I mean) Reading the books, I did not always think so, so maybe quite a lot has changed in ten years.
"You and Ron named him after me." "No. I named him." She dug her nails into her palms. "After his father." - Oh dear...when did THAT happen?
| alix33 1/8/10 . chapter 1
"And to Alan-san, for declaring "holy mother of god that's a huge book" in front of my entire Japanese class while I was reading "Goblet of Fire", thus alerting them to the fact that a 21 year old English major is totally hooked on Harry Potter." - Hehehe, though a) he was not wrong about GOF's size; and b) I am sure you were not the only English major with that IMO very pleasant affliction.
If Harry's is Hedwig's former owner, who owns her now?
"The quill was dusty and the ink needed a bit of water," - I am convinced "Scourgify" and "Aguamenti", respectively, will solve those two problems.
| Raven3182 10/29/09 . chapter 25
Great story! You're a very gifted writer. I thought things were a little predictable, but you proved my predictions wrong, so great job. This is an all around great read. Thanks for writing!
| CRuck 10/17/09 . chapter 2
This particular chapter was probably best written chapter I've ever read on . Forgive my ignorance on literary terms but your pacing and the way you set the tension between Hermione and Harry was masterful. I loved the way you so slowly and subtlely revealed Hermione's resentment and you had so into the story you completely blindsided me witht he depths of their relationship before he left and the consquences that resulted. Sorry for being a late comer but your great work deserves alot of praise
| Rori Potter 7/12/09 . chapter 25
That was amazing.
| Salette8 6/24/09 . chapter 25
Wow, It's one of the best stories I have ever read, I can't believe it took me so long to know about this wonderful fic, I know this fic is from 2003 but still such a good fic deserved a review, I hope you receive it, and know that you're a wondeful writer. Thanks for this fic!
| blklover 6/3/09 . chapter 25
great story please keep up the good work update soon