Perhaps you'll remember me, perhaps not. I am normally known as Hawk, the first one, the original one, who loved your Kasumi 1/2 and believed it was a great story. Emailed you, like, 10 times when you were writing it. As I read this, I did noticed that it was completely taken from Kasumi 1/2 and didn't realize that the same person had written it, which is a relief to know.

Either way, don't feel down on your writing, it was always very well done, otherwise I would not have continued reading the fic. No matter how great a story might be, if the grammar and spelling suck, I won't continue with it, and you managed to pull off both.

With my fics, I have the same problem. You look back at them and go 'ick' compared to other authors. The sign of a good writer, as I've been told, is that they are never content with their writing. They always feel it can be improved in some way or another, so don't feel bad that you don't like your own work. It's common.

I hope you don't give up writing! You've got a gift! Just gotta figure out what you're gonna do with it. Good luck!

Well not bad considering it's length, I think it could have been much longer. The last few lines of dialogue between Ranma and Kasumi were almost completely unintelligible. I couldn't even understand the gist of what they were saying.

But all in all not bad.

Interesting read. Not much dramatic tension.

I read another story alot like this one called A New Direction Taken. The ending kind of confused me. Did Kasumi have a miscarriage?

It doesn't really work. It feels like we're joining a story in progress. Since there's no build-up to the major focus of the story, there's no emotional weight to the events or characters. The ensuing events read more like a summary than a story, and it's hard to care about what happens. One-shots can still be excellent stories, but you need SOME storytelling in there. Kasumi's pregnant, everyone reacts badly, they get married and live happily ever after. The End. It just doesn't work in such a short format.

I can only say I liked this little one-shot and it told a saga in a small amount of space. I'd say this can be an inspiration for more stories. As for having alot of ideas with little writing coming from it, I have had the same with 2 stories in 2 years after 36 stories the previous years.

So I know what you mean!

dennisud

Good, nuf said

Very good, and bittersweet fic there, and liked how things went with about the same way that it likely woud have in Takahashi's work, given that she never wrapped things up.