Very good. The story runs fluently, I can very well imagine something like this happening during the Rain.

You managed to write out Dannel quite well.

I look forward to the rest of the civilisations.

Wow...that was pretty epic. The tension was almost palpable. I'm amazed that so many good new writers have shown up on the SoA fanfic group. This is something I've never really seen before, either: an account of the Old World's last days from the point of view of the main people of each civilization. Your descriptive language is timed well to create suspense, and your story flows. I want more.

Excellent start. This is one of the first times I've seen someone look at the perspective of the Old World. Keep up the good work. Thanks.