   Aubretia Lycania
2009-01-10 . chapter 2SS,
Oh, excitement! I've been eagerly awaiting the next installment of this all winter break! And now I have something to read on the train to school (other than Sookie Stackhouse or Dresden Files, which I love, but there's nothing like fic when one is avoiding homework.) Joy!
As I've said before, I am your friendly neighborhood decade-long Cheetor fan, which is one huge reason why I read your fic. Your grasp over him is marvelous, the best over all the characters. While I sense you are a fan of Blackarachnia and Silverbolt, it is perhaps BECAUSE Cheetor is not your favorite that you seem to write him so well. You focus on the relationships that strike you as interesting, and thus flesh them out extremely well. You making him 22-23 also makes me smile a bit, as I am turning 23 this year and I know that it still doesn't make you an adult--it just means people expect you to know what you're doing and you have to fly by the seat of your pants(something Cheetor seems to hold a degree in.) The tension you explore between his childhood self and this commander self, and the fact that (having not had much time to develop at his own pace between two wars) he's always somehow between these selves, is magnificent. I am also so glad that, despite his trying to interfere with your ship pairing, you don't feel the need to bash him, but instead portray his relationship with Blackarachnia realistically and, I might say, heart-warmingly. You write our favorite spider almost as well as Cheetor (I only rank her second because the way you write Cheetor just floors me with how *cough* spot-on you are... pun intended, har har). She's a badass beotch with a quick temper and a good heart. Her moments with Silverbolt sometimes make me gag, but that's the way they are in canon, and it also makes me smile.
Silverbolt also annoys me about as much as he does in canon, which means you're on the money! Ever since he came back from Megatron, I've loved his complexity, and you've managed to capture that complexity and internal struggle very well, as well as develop it. I always wanted more in the show on how he might resolve issues with what Megatron did to him--the ending always seemed too neat, where he wakes up and is suddenly all happy-go-lucky again. You've managed to side-step that ending and keep all those issues going towards their more logical conclusions.
Rattrap could probably use more complexity--he gained much during BM, between his self-esteem issues and falling in love with Botanica, and I notice that is some ways you seem to avoid the complexities developed in BM in favor of those present in BW, like his relationship with Dinobot. Though I understand why you have Botanica not in this story, I do think it would behoove you to at least mention her, as she had an effect on Rattrap that could be followed to its own logical conclusions, like you've done with Silverbolt. The fact that she has chosen to stay behind could be a deal-breaker for Rattrap, and that might lend a new layer to the story you're spinning here. Her staying behind means that Cybertron, and the technorganic orchard she was fascinated with, is more important to her than Rattrap or the others--her priorities were always obviously different from those of the other Maximals. She also had another crew somewhere on another planet, who might be her more primary relationships. All of these facets could add extra depth--I'm just bringing them up as bunnying tools, of course. I do, however, enjoy familial moments Rattrap has with the others--his "uncle" position to Nightscream is as cute and funny as it was in the show (he even called himself Uncle Rattrap in one of the episodes, I think) and sort of reminds me of the episode "Go with the Flow" where he was rescuing the girl Una, or "The Web" where he was just becoming friends with Cheetor (as well as adding a dose of healthy threatening, lol). He likes kids, and indeed people, almost despite himself. His trust in Cheetor is also interesting. He is able to trust Cheetor, it seems, based on their friendship and doesn't need to be in awe of or uncritical of him. The fact that he can follow Cheetor and still call him "kiddo" when he's being an idiot is wonderful. Both he and Blackarachnia are Cheetor's best tools as he grows--they can chide him without embarrassing him, guide him without bullying him, and follow without idolizing him. I wish I could see more of Silverbolt and Cheetor resolving some issues (somehow... maybe they're just cursed to hate each other on a personality level, even though they also care about each other) and work out some way of being fraternal without also having an underlying level of belligerence. The fact that you convey this animosity, almost effortlessly, says quite a lot about your grasp on the characters.
Nightscream, I feel still, is too young. I get your reasons for doing so, as you stated after my last review, and I appreciate what you're working on exploring. To be honest I feel he is the most out-of-character. He always struck me as the little brother Cheetor and Blackarachnia NEVER wanted (and which Cheetor will probably never want...) as well as the little brother Cheetor could have been to Silverbolt once upon a time had Cheetor not 1.) tried to be a rival to him, 2.) clung so solidly to Optimus and if Silverbolt had something to teach him during the Beast Wars. Silverbolt does, however, have much to guide Nightscream on--dealing with anger and vengeful feelings, for one, as well as the trauma of powerlessness. I think the age Nightscream has been given here might have removed some of the agency he seemed to have in the show--he never struck me as being a full ten years younger than Cheetor, because Cheetor was a kid pretty much right up until he went Transmetal 2, and there was little time between that and the end of the war. He was having his first crush! (Hilariously, he always called Blackarachnia "ugly" before he was a Transmetal--very "ew, girls have cooties" of him). This may be me over-analyzing.
Dinobot and Depth Charge... what can I say? It makes me squeal inappropriately to see them again. When I was 9-13, Depth Charge was the greatest thing since Batman. In retrospect he also kind of reminds me of Christian Bale as Batman, god save my achey-breaky heart. His saving Cheetor the way he did (flashes of Deep Metal OMG) and getting a bitter laugh as a greeting was a complex moment that I savored. I would like to see inside his and Dinobot's heads more--the changes around them must be overwhelming. For Dinobot, he's got Blackarachnia on the team now (big wtf on his end, I imagine), Silverbolt is a brooding anti-hero, Rattrap has gone from demolitions expert second-in-command stud in his prime to a post-love affair backseat recon uncle type, Nightscream in a newb altogether, and Cheetor is the LEADER (I bet something overloaded when he heard that) who climbed over Rattrap in the ranks, has a bit of an attitude, and some anger issues with Optimus--who has apparently gone spiritual guru-turned matrix guiding intelligence. For Depth Charge things are probably a bit less shocking, but after seeing Cheetor as a feral psycho hunting me on a mountaintop, and Blackarachnia as a reckless, powermongering nutcase, I'd be worried about the fate of the world--especially with Silverbolt turned dark knight. But so far their banter is perfect and I hope there's infinitely more with them, as Dinobot and Depth Charge were the worst losses in BW history.I am also eager to see more of Tigatron and Airazor, and what has turned them against the Maximals.
GAH Cheetor standing up to Optimus like that makes me wanna sing! I expect Pop Op brought Megatron along because leaving him alone in a position of power within the matrix would be a bad idea, and because when the planet was reformated, it struck me that Optimus and Megatron--as two sides of one coin--might have also been linked together irrevocably as the core intelligence guiding the new vision of Cybertron. Just as organic and technological had to come together and fuse, so did the visions of Optimus and Megatron--a synchronization rather than the cataclysmic clashing that ended season one. To Optimus this might make sense, but Cheetor, and the others, are individuals with memories and small scopes--to them Megatron is the ultimate evil who has visited every evil possible on them. For Optimus to let him out to wreck havoc on Earth is unthinkable. I especially like how you layered that--in your short stories, Cheetor confesses to liking humans Earth--in its prehistoric form, he pretty much grew up for quite a good portion of his life there, and made nearly all the friends he currently has. He (unlike Rattrap) seldom references a life before the Beast Wars--he was probably an academy science student of reasonable talent (he won a spot on an exploration mission at a fairly young age), and his life seems to really begin on that mission. For Megatron to be unleashed again, not only on his friends/family, but on Earth as well, is a huge betrayal. I am biting my fingernails for the next chapter to see what passes between him and Optimus.
As far as technical matters go, I want to again offer my services as a copy editor. There are sometimes grammar and spelling mistakes made that could easily be caught by a second reader, and I am reasonably fast at what I do. My credentials? I am a seasoned English major at a top research institution, a tutor and a librarian in the research room of the English department. Plus I am insanely devoted to your story and would just love to discuss it with you otherwise, if you still don't want a copy editor. My yahoo ID is aubretia_lycania, and I am on PST, if you ever want to chit chat.
Other than all that (I write you a novel here, which is the least I can do for this awesome story), I am excited like you can't know for the next chapter. Happy writing and hope to hear from you!
Best,
Au |
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