This is awesome. Second person can be tedious, but you've used it to great effect, and also used the description sparingly. Great work :D

Nice!

Pls write more stories!

I liked it! Good job!

Nice! This is the first Batman fic I've read. To be honest, I never thought about it. I stumbled onto it through your Twilight fic, and I am impressed,

Powerful story my friend. I really loved the angst in the work. Not overdone, not melodramatic, but definitely well stated and well written.

I would say this is a prose version of a favorite Edgar Allan Poe poem of mine, Annabel Lee, and I definitely think Rachel makes a wonderful substitute for Poe's muse in this one.

Nice touch with the second person, btw and it only adds to the effect.

Regards,

Theodore Hawkwood