ok im continuing to read this story because the story line is intrigueing, but i must say...i dont mean to be mean...but as constructive criticism, you must improve ur writing skills... im sorry...the grammar is fine, but the responses r so quick, and the descriptions and reactions of the characters are so...bland. i dont know exactly how to explain it...but it needs to b better. im sorry. jus tryin to help u improve

this is really not a story to be laffin at...but im sorry i have to..hahahahahha! trunks is so clueless! haha...ok im done xP

hhollyy wow! ok this is extremely IMAGINATIVE! this storyline is ALL u! very interesting! i havnt red anythin lik this! wow! the rapist! jus 1 lil weird thing..i no itz ur own fic and pov and stuff...but i jusst thot it was weird dat u made marrons description like bra's...but its all gud...cnt wait to see how trunks will do!

ooh! this was a very gud chapter 1! it pulled me into the story already! i really really cant wait to see whats goin to happen next! wow! and the thing about saiyans being vampires! cant wait to see what dat is about! haha evil baby sitter! very well written chaper 1!

Awesome story! I love it!

hiei-chan

Ok i know i read this story like years ago but i dont think i ever reviewed so i though i read it again and review. well i did like i. it wasnt to great but still the plot was ok. I think its a good story but you should work on how you write it. It gets annoying after a while when you keep changing POV's if you like writing like that write it in 3rd person and make it a skrips or i recamend that since a few yrs passed your writing should have improved so you should rewrite it, well the format of it anyway it was a good read and i did enjoy it. keep up your writng. Later.

interesting

ne word brilliant its fucking amazin

I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters? You should write this story on

I liked the ideas of the story, but your grammar prtty much sucks. You say the same thing to start out most of your sentences. Try to make the sentences different and try using a spell checker. Other wise it was pretty good.

Hey.

Bitchy bitchy Maron. You forgot to tell what the fucking hell happened to her after Jesse and his men deaths. She is so bitchy, trying to get over MY Trunks and split him from my Pan...

BUT I LOVED YOUR STORY! IT'S WONDERFUL... THE LAST CHAPS WERE TOO SHORT BUT PERFECT!

U don't need anymore reviews, u already have 256 reviews...Oh, wait, this is a review isn't it? Oh gez, not again...

I loved your story took 2 hours to read it but it was good no I mean great

I just started reading your fic and I LOVE it! Its so beautiful! I think I could cry! but then that would interfere with my reading so I won't cry!

Wow it was all a dream cool! Great story! luved it! Lol goku and vegeta fighting again here comes the new db and dbz! lol except there brothers! cool!

I luved your story!