That made me grin. A lot. Very nicely composed!

Cute story! Good job! :)

good story

Hi, sweet little story, however there do seem to be a few issues in regards to ease of reading and this I think Is partly down to the tense's being wrong in places. I see you have had it beta read, but perhaps look for someone in addition who can check for grammatical errors too. I'm the first to admit that spelling and grammer are notmy strongpoints. This will, I think, make for a much more comfortable flow to your writing.