I'm liking it so far. The idea of a clumsy, socially-awkward witch seems right and proper. And I LOLed at "That's not magic, that's lazy."

I loved this chapter.

hi
i love this story it has a twist to it. keep writing and hope your classes for school will be easy. thanks for writing the story.
-ilani

dont underestimate the flying pencil willow staked one of the mayers guards with it

I like this part:
The book I was reading earlier that day was on the history of vampire folklore, and the irony of the situation wasn’t lost on me.

good but i think u neek to space the sentences out more

I love the idea of a witch I feel like that is what was missing in the books not per say but the concept of something more Sometimes when I read the book I felt it was missing stuff like other POV and just more don't get me wrong I LOVE the saga.

I like the story a lot. I like your twist you put on it.
great job.

i liked this version of twilight and cant wait to read more of your stories

I looked back at the previous reviews and I really shouldn't be writing if all I can come up with to start a review is "okay, so..." I will do my darndest to be more witty or at least original or at least pretend to be original. Whichever it turns out to be.

I'm wondering what it will take for Bella to realize that Edward has been watching her sleep. She has these dreams about him, but doesn't say anything about them. I'm waiting for her witchy senses to turn on and go OMG there's a vamp here! Not good, frying now. Well, I don't think it'd happen exactly like that, but you get the idea, right? Possible outtakes, yes? :-D

Remind me to never, ever, wish for the power to read minds. Just thinking about all the stupid things people think about all the time makes my head hurt now. Though it could be useful in figuring out whether someone really is psychotic or not, or whether they're lying to me about the last time they used... Dammit! Now I'm wanting that on-off switch. :-\

“take care for me until then will you?” So much better than 'Be Safe.' What was that? It's an order is what it is and not a very good one at that.

Edward's single minded focus on kissing Bella is cute. So reminds me of some of my friends during HS who never really were truly "seen" by any of the girls, but when they were, The Kiss was those poor guys focus for days. Cute and sweet and a little sad.

Heh, I like Bella's truck in all its noisiness. Maybe I'm a bit weird.

"There was plenty of fish but I think if I ate anymore I’ll grow gills." I'm pretty sure I saw that in a crack fic somewhere. Or I was discussing this with someone that it needed to be made into one. Either way, I loled irl when I read that. The poor dogs at my feet were startled and started barking. Whoops. *sheepish grin*

"Just five miles or so." Yeah, that may not be far to Edward, but that's a long hike! I'm thinking he needs to learn that humans, even witches, see the world in much shorter distances. Luckily, he gets to run with her, which is just plain awesome. If there was any part of the Twilight world I wish was real it would be the speed thing. To be able to move that FAST at will... just too much awesomeness to contemplate.

"I lost myself to that fire. I did not care if I burned." I think that sums up so much of the conflict between these two. They are going to defy what they are for the chance to be with each other. It's sweet and makes me smile. Of course the kiss was quite beautiful and makes me happy to read. For some reason, if I can't think back and remember a fics First Kiss later, then I tend to eventually forget the rest of the fic as well. Or course, you have the advantage of all the magic stuff happening which more or less guarantees that I will pay more attention, so kudos there! Actually, the entire magic thing, from the fire to earth to wind and water was quite well done. Not too much (the entire forest didn't go up in flames, as an example of over kill) but still showing what Bella is capable of, impressive. I do have to admit that the eye color thing was very cool imagery, but mixed with the storm stuff made me think of, well, Storm from X-Men. I dunno if that was intentional or not, but I liked it, so I willna complain in the least.

On to meeting the family! Yay!

faeriegal713

Wow. I'm reeling from the changes. You did a pretty good job at keeping each character's voice different. I've decided that's what I dislike the most about most people that try to write from different povs. Everyone sounds the same. I laughed when I got the impression of Cordelia from Rosalie, more because of the language used and how she jumped to conclusions that fit her pov so quickly. Silly woman/vampire/person.

Carlisle's pov regarding the witch hunts was interesting. I love getting a bit of a history lesson in fics and laughed at his observation that most people don't want an in depth history lesson. I'm assuming you, based on your major, and I are amongst the exceptions. I say bring on the details! Make me think! Carlisle, show off your sexy smarts! Alas, he will not listen and we shall be stuck with his glossing over of a very interesting time period. I enjoyed how you gave the Volturi a stronger presence in this story and giving witches sweeter blood than the rest of us mere humans. It makes some sense to me, but really makes me wonder how strong her scent must be for Edward since her blood is already sweet by most standards, and then to have it be exponentially stronger for him... the man has the willpower of a god. Truly, he must.

But on to the next chapter!

faeriegal713

Okay, so this one is a little later than my half hour mark, but I'm blaming my internet. I think using a USB card thingy as my single source of internet is a bit daunting and overwhelming for the poor thing and it likes to remind me of such.

Okay, so, I know what you mean about WoT having many, many a POV change and that makes it more difficult to gauge too many pov changes. Completely random side note - are you going to be missing come November as well? I'm pretty sure I will be non-existent as far as the rest of the world will be concerned. I've a date with Randland. :-) And you and drandomtuba will have to be my discussion buddies once we all resurface since no one I know here has a clue what in the world the WoT is... We must exchange chat sn prior to this event occurring so Twitter and the gaz/twat won't be spammed by the WoT awesomness.

And on to the actual review because I'm freaking long winded as hell tonight.

I don't know why, but I think the most amusing thing in the world is to watch Edward (I almost wrote Mat, I've got WoT on the mind. He's Edward. The cute one we all like is Edward...) complain about not being able to hear Bella. It makes him seem like more of a full character because something so simple irks him so much. And it's something we can at least kinda relate to since I know that not being able to read some people as easily as others is frustrating to me. Plus, a confused/irritated Edward is a cute Edward. ;-)

I also love the little conversations Bella imagines between her and her father. I think her irritation at having to keep so many secrets shines through clearly when she's going over things like that. It's sad that she secrets keep stacking up too so she's never really able to live a normal/uncomplicated life. I know we all dream about having something cool like that going on in our lives, but I can't help but imagine that Bella dreams of being normal and just being able to be a teenager. On the other hand it is cool to see her gaining greater control over that very pesky fire element thing.

Okay, I like that the "big kiss" isn't happening right away and that they're trying to work up the nerve to figure it out. As previously stated, they're not exactly normal and it's not as easy to lose yourself in a kiss when you've got so many other things to worry about like frying your boyfriend or nicking and then eating your girlfriend. Nope, not easy things at all.

And of course, go Bella! for taking the dive and agreeing to meet with Edward's family. That's just too cool and I'm really looking forward to it. Especially hearing all the different POVs. :-)

Speaking of which, I should probably fast forward then to the next chapter, huh?

faeriegal713

Hokay, so I fell off the edge of the earth. Sort of. Kinda. At least as far as anyone here is concerned. I found that the edge isn't really all that high and so I was able to climb back up once I let the scratches heal a bit. :-p Or I was just a bum and ignoring anything and everything to do with actually typing things up OR I was far too upset to be able to reasonably think. But, I'm feeling much better now, and the only scratches I've got are from a cat trying to play, so now it's time to review! Yes, really and truly it is.

I really like how you wrote Emmett's character. He's light, there's a bounce in the writing. Even when thinking about Jasper's slightly stronger tendency towards O+ (or whatever) there's still that bounce and almost carefree feeling. He figures since Alice gave the go ahead, there's no problem, so why worry? You did a great job. :-)

My biggest complaint here, which really isn't much of one and really not a complaint so much as an observation of what some people say is annoying was the multiple pov changes in short sequence. I'm sure you've already been told or have noticed others say it, but I'm trying to give honest feedback (as rare as that creature is to find...)

“Quiet, shy, awkward about her own powers, she’s like your twin! Congrats man!” One of my new favorite lines. It's just plain too cute. And a great observation actually. It's also fascinating that Bella is finally able to pick up on his thoughts. It seemed to happen after she had assessed his character and maybe got an idea of how his mind works, which leads me to believe she can read humans so easily because we tend to think similarly to each other, or at least the processes are similar. Vamps must think differently enough that she has to become more attuned to them before she can hear them.

I also have to give her points for being able to "talk" her powers down so that she could shake Emmett's hand. It was definitely necessary for her to meet him (the more open and practical joker) first so she could figure out the fire element thing and mind reading thing. I dunno if any of the others besides Alice would forgive her as easily and Alice can be intimidating in the first few interactions.

So now we're off to talk about meeting the family! Wo! I'll try not to fall off the edge in the next 30 minutes, k?

faeriegal713

I am not a big fan of bella being a witch but this story seems awsome

Bella's internal monologue definitely reveals how pragmatic she is. Her worries regarding her humanity and powers and Edward's vampness and morals really show that she's not going to let her emotions get in the way of real world stuff. There are a few sentences that are a little hard to follow, mainly due to a few misplaced commas. Those little buggers like to grow like weeds. *shakes head*

I also like the fact that we once again aren't stuck wading through a whole bunch of time that really didn't mean anything. You covered all the important stuff in a few paragraphs and now we're all caught up on the same page. woot woot!

“Not in the way you think, but an invite would be nice. Its rude to just walk into someone’s house Bella.” Hehe. I love that line. It's cute and quirky and fun!

OMG, I had never thought what it would be like for both of them to be hearing the thoughts of those around them. So many inside jokes that they wouldn't have to say anything about. Even if they can't hear each other, at least they have an idea of what made the other laugh or frown. So many misunderstandings could be overcome just because of the one cool gift. Wow, do I hope that made sense.

Awe, I almost feel bad for Mike. I'm sure he's really not as bad of a guy as most writers make him out to be. He's just not used to being met with rejection, I'm sure. Is it weird that I keep imagining a kid I went to school with when I think of Mike and the character ends up being imbued w/the kids personality? If that were the case, then Mike would never be the annoying punk ass that he apparently turns into in many fics.

Anywho, any thoughts about Mike immediately disappeared when Edward started to act all sorts of weird. I wonder what it would be like to be a mind reader and not know what was going on in someone's mind, especially when they are important to you. Annoying and flustering as all get out comes to mind.

"I excused myself out of class as I heard him in my head." Um, question - did she literally hear Edward in her head or was it a vision of him asking her to meet him? Just want to make sure I'm on the same page.

Alice's amusement at watching her brother is very similar to my amusement I think. Which is fun. And since she's not a giggling mess of bouncing, I'm assuming you're writing her more low key to which I say - THANK YOU!

Getting to see a bit of Edward's mind, especially since he sees more of Bella being turned is very nice. We get to see some of his worries, and how he deals with them. At this point that is apparently brushing it away and dealing with the closer situation at hand which is Bella meeting his family. That is a big thing and I can't wait to see how it turns out!

faeriegal