Wow...

hmmm, HE'S MARRIED! okay that's out of my system, i'm just curious about your reasoning behind this, i mean Alice is basically allowing Jasper to cheat on her, and then audrey, the fact that she doesn't care that he's married when they first kiss is not exactly giving her a good image. and third HE'S A VAMPIRE, and they had sex and in all the books you see how hard that was for edward and bella the first time and jasper has the most trouble with there way of life. errghh i just want to understand. Oh and by the way diary form might not be the best way to write a story, the reader feels no connection to the characters but instead very detached which is the opposite of what an author wants to do.

omg t

i really loved this story. i cried when audrey died and when it got 2 her letter 2 jasper. it was just so sad. it also hit close 2 home 4 me b/c my dad died of brain cancer and it effected his body pretty quickly.

aww I like how ur putting her point of view in some of the major parts of the story

Chel, over all, an amazing masterpiece :). I'm always anxious about what would happen next, but now it's over :(. It was so touching at the end, I wanted to cry so hard. I'm going to read Audrey's POV now :)

Ivy

aw this was really good. this chapter was sad enough to read but then to read it from her perspective is heart breaking. a lot of times we know we shouldnt do something because its wrong but yet it feels right at the same time. i can relate to her confusion. i loved it and cant wait for the next one!

That was great! You should write from the beginning from Audrey's view :)

MS

I'm warning you now: An extremely long review is to follow. Included are both reader's comments and some constructive criticism to help you as you write more. ] (-in a tiny voice- Please don't hate me!)

I have to say, this story has definitely been a journey, especially if one reads the entire thing in one sitting (like I did)...

First, I must say that I absolutely adored Audrey. She was very realistic, compared to some of the other original characters that I've seen inserted into the fandom and the Cullen family. She was... refreshing, in a way. Personally, one of my favorite qualities is that she and Bella are fairly opposite, specifically in the 'I want to be changed' department. That in and of itself sent this story up several notches in my book.

At one point (I believe it was somewhere around chapter thirty-six) I found myself thinking 'Oh, this is turning too Mary-Sue for my tastes', what with the discovery of the brain tumor and all, but I believe (I apologize if this sounds particularly harsh or crass...) since Audrey died before they could change her, it was for the better. It pulled this story back from the dangerous ledge overlooking Mary-Sue Land and tethered it back into normalcy and realism. That made it very refreshing as well. The last few chapters almost made me cry because they were written as if they were truly words written or thought of by Jasper himself.

Though your grammar and mechanics could use some fine-tuning, they are not detrimental to the plot, which is a good thing. The majority of those types of errors lie in simple punctuation or capitalization, something that a run-through with a beta reader (be it from the site database or a very close friend of yours that shares an interest in the fandom) would almost surely correct entirely.

Again, I apologize if I sound harsh or anything of that nature, for I really do love this story. From one writer to another (even though my posted writing may not be much to go by), creative criticism can do a load of good, even if it is for the most miniscule of things. I hope that you keep writing, and if you do in fact write more on this story, I will keep reading and await each and every update. ]

Wow, that - along with many other chapters - was really moving.

I'm looking forward to reading Audrey's POV.

x

wow that was amazing, and such a good way to end it...

aw that was a tear jerker. i had to keep swallowing so i wouldnt cry. i really liked the ending. it was bittersweet. its sad shes growing up without audrey but since she cant be here its important to know shes looking down on jasmine and is so proud of her. im sure shes proud that jasper was able to raise her and glad that he was strong enough to care for her even though he lost the love of his life. all in all, i think that was the perfect endind...or a beginining for jasmine.

i cried.

twice!

):

Aw this chapter was so sweet and a perfect way to end it.

I am sorry that this story has finally come to an end as it was one of my favourite stories D

aw that was a bittersweet chapter but it was a good way to end it. i love this stroy...full of drama but all things must come to an end. even though it wwas sad the way it ended i understand why it ended how it did. not all stories can have a happy ending. look forward to reading the epilogue and the other pov chapters.