A very beautifully tragic story. My favorite thing about this story (and really, all your stories) is how you portray the Aladdin series. I'd say you've accomplished a really wonderful equilibrium of the more mature aspects of life, while still remaining remarkably true to the lighter, more hopeful tone that Disney gave us. Thank you, because that is a real accomplishment.

The structure and organization is very well done as well. It's a wonderful little emotional roller-coaster ride of tender, happy moments that transition smoothly to the tragic ones, and everything in between.

The story also seems very appropriate to Aladdin's character. It makes sense that this sort of thing should happen to him, and it helps explain and shape the person he is later on.

XD I guess I'm not much help in the way of any constructive criticism, sorry about that. But your writing talent is really something special, and I very much enjoy it.

Keep up the amazing work~

~Tashia

Wow, this was a really great story! It was definitely sad and romantic. Poor Al, he was crushed to have lost his first love. I feel bad for Fara too though, she seems to have had her life go down the drain.

Anyway, very creative one-shot. I enjoyed reading it and it gives me more insight to the relationship you mentioned in your other story.

I love that song ^^

He "wondered why he found her more beautiful when she did not smile."
That line, like the whole story, is brimming with melancholy and tragedy. I love that you've expanded on that moment. It adds to Aladdin's character (from the movie and from your previous stories), even if I'm still not as sympathetic towards Aladdin's plight as I am Mozenrath's, heh.

Your OC girls are always so sad and tragic! I think it's kinda cool how Mozenrath and Aladdin both had those sad, tragic loves in their past, girls who started out well enough, and ended in shame and death. And then the guys got Jasmine, lol. Also, I like the similarity in how Aladdin met both girls -- while saving them -- though he only followed Jasmine because of her pretty face, whereas he never even saw Fara's at first.

I adore the section about Abu. He's so much wiser than I ever imagined! His last observation is so true, too.

One tiny thing...and someone might have mentioned it already. This line: "Aladdin caught her wrist because she could walk out of the dimly lit room in distress." Should it be "before" instead of "because"? Or perhaps I'm just confused. It's been known to happen.

Hey, you could do one about Jasmine's past now, like her with a suitor or Raeven. Well, actually I guess you've already done that in Antiphony. But I like these background type stories. You could do one about Raniye or Xerxes, when they were still in their kingdoms. Or one about Destane watching them, or the moment he chose to take them. Like I said though, excellent job. It's always refreshing to spend time on a new project for a bit, isn't it?