Has Mike been possessed by aliens? Why has he changed so dramatically and suddenly. I'd love to find out what he's got up his sleeve. Keep writing, you have me intrigued!

Your dialogue, on the whole, is good. It’s realistic and portrays much of what the character is feeling. Thus, I think you sometimes over-explain yourself in the passive voice. Eg: “He’s not. He’s just going to live here and b[e] trained by people who really care about his well-being, rather than how much money he’s going to make.” Ashleigh was really starting to get angry now… - the dialogue is evidence enough that she is getting angry and passively describing her anger only slows down the argument.

Again later with Mike breaking up the fight.

Your characterisations come across well: Mike the peace-maker, Brad the arrogant whatsit and Ashleigh the stubborn but kind girl. Well done.

Good fluent flow.

You go into first person narrative briefly after the line “And when are you going to realise that a racehorse is an animal…”

I would have liked to see more emotional evidence when Ashleigh is told she is to be Princess’ rider.

A good cliff hanger to end the chapter on. We are straight into the action, there’s no hanging about. Very good.

Wow what an excellent story u r an amazing writer so please write more

This storyis so awesome I cant wait for more to come

This was a good story :) I liked it...so far. What I've read is good. I hope you write more of it!

i loved it please please please update soon :D

I like the way you displayed Ash, but Mike is just a little bit "not Mike" in this story. I hope he goes back to "normal" by the end of the story.

Another very minor thing is in the last paragraph you spelled "things" "thigns" I just thought I'd tell you that so you could correct it.

Still love the story!

I liked this chapter. It was pretty good. I just had one problem with it. You said in the second paragraph... "Ashleigh left Prodigy and Wonder when the young colt stretched out on the ground for a nap and Wonder laid down a short distance away to sleep. Standing outside the stall, Ashleigh stretched her stiff muscles and set off greeting the other horses in the barn." The only problem I have with this paragraph is that horses don't sleep laying down. They sleep standing up.

omg i cant wait for the third chapter! this is really good!

you're ending it there? please have more asap!