Don't worry i'm not going to bombard you or anything. I just wanted to let you know I thought your writing style was really good and that I really enjoyed your story. :)

Brutal but very good chapter, keep it up.

I really hope he didn't kill Kotoko, she's one of my favorite characters

Hey. Loved the chapter. Also really enjoying where you're taking the story. Update soon. :D

the only bit i disagree with on Hideki's masterful summation of the english language is that the grammar is not irrational.


(i am english)

not sure whats wrong with a massage book, if anything it's more of a martial arts guide than asource of embarassment as it gives you pinpoint instruction on pressure points and nerve centres

I don't see the problem you're trying to set up in this latest chapter. If resetting Chi is necessary to complete the broadcast, then why not just go ahead with their original plan and create the new programs and distribute them themselves, instead of using the ones contained in the broadcast?

Love the story so far! :D Can't wait to read more! :) Update again soon if you can.

~Warui-Usagi

I like how you handled Hideki's nightmare during the first few paragraphs of the chapter; I was not even aware of it during my first read-through, which surprised me. Generally, authors italic these scenes, an obvious indication of an event that's either not real, or in a different tense. I thought what was happening actually took place! You did a good job in making it seem real, but also fluid in the sense I would picture a dream like this to act out as you wrote; swift and sudden, without unnecessary detail. Looking over the first sentence, "surreal" and "hazy" strike me as being obscure clues, too. :P Clever.

Not only that, but this scene also gave us readers a chance to see what Hideki has been going through, and how it affects his daily life, a plot point introduced back in the third chapter. So far, you managed to reinforce a fairly significant "issue" a main character has, while making it realistic, and in Chii how that affects another main character negatively. You're consistent with what you've introduced, and you developed these ideas not in a hurried, predictable manner, but in one that flows well with the story, without being rushed as soon as you mention it. I expected nothing less.

The closing paragraphs were nice. A good discussion that promotes development, with both Hideki and Dita interacting as realistically as I could expect, given the circumstances involving both of them. Hideki is hardly all that knowledgeable about technology, but bluntly honest and sincere, while Dita is icy, short-tempered, but also blunt. You captured them both perfectly, and I like how Hideki remains true to what is best for Chii, regardless of how that effects him personally, and how Dita reacts by not completely scoffing Hideki afterward, but also remaining true to her more negative thoughts about him, too. I can't wait to see how this develops!

The chapter was short, but well-done. I do know what you mean by getting this released or having nothing at all posted, and I think what came out was a great edition to the story, regardless of length.

Excellent work, I love your fic very much, and I'm happy to see new chapters when I look on Chobits section. I like how you portrayed Zima and Dita, and have small proposal... What if Dita discovers heavy metal music somehow and it will help her realize her emotions better, but not in the way Hibya/Hideki/Zima were expectiong that :) Say, music like Dethklok or Cannibal Corpse or Arch Enemy will give her an answer to her inner rage, will give her feeling that she is not alone with her anger. Well, maybe I was watching too much of Metalocalypse lately, but you described Dita as pretty much metal :) She even names Hideki meatbag! And it will be fun to see how others will react to horrific sounds emenating from her room...

excellent chapter, like always. Why do i think of the terminator when i read the part about ragnar? keep up the good work.

It'd getting interesting now! Another good chapter, but I am guessing that it will not be possible for the files altering the persocoms priority levels and memory space will not be able to be broadcast effectivly from any other source than Chii? Dramatic tension and all that... but wouldn't it (manga style theoretics) be possible to design an empty shell persocom with Chii's broadcasting systems (but no full systmes and a complete lack of any humanistic features... more like a normall desktop than persocom) to send out any data without a full repeat of the Manga scenarios?
Sorry if this makes no sense... Still...
~Artemis FOwl II~

This was brilliant. The scene toward the end was beautiful. Keep up the good work and update soon.

Inspired, not crap!
Good story so far, still going good :)
I do like the sciency bits thown in, though my sister can't understand them (lol) I think they do add a lot more to the story than is at first apparent. Please keep up the good work!
Oh, and HOW ON EARTH do you come up with the sciency stuff?!?! It all makes sense as well (even more impressive) so how can you do it o.0
~Artemis Fowl II~

I really need to dedicate a time for reading and reviewing; I've been doing little of either for the last few weeks. If it's not because I'm busy, it's a distraction, and those are the greatest evils in my life!

Anyway, enough of that. If I don't actually start this soon, I'll never get finished, and I certainly don't want that to happen again.

I'm happy to see Minoru's gift was not just give and take, in the sense that the initial reaction to it is not overly positive as a potential outcome. I may just be weird, but I like how seemingly small actions can affect a story, and how it can keep me guessing, but not to the extent it would be hopeless to do so. In this situation, it's implied the ultimate reaction could be good or bad, or perhaps a little of both. Chitose is not too sure about it, and Minoru seems adamant that it's for the better. The readers can only guess what the "ultimate" reaction could be in the meantime, if there even is one, as it could lead to several very different plot directions. I was expecting a different first impression, but I'm glad I was mistaken.

For the second major part of this chapter, the general meaning of my previous paragraph still stands, but that would be boring to type up again, so I won't. :P I feel sorry for Hideki; he has reason to be suspicious with all that's happening as is, and I doubt new neighbors would improve that. I imagine the same would go for Chii, too, once she finds out who these "contacts" are and remembers their last encounter; it's only inevitable at this point.

It seems that Zima and Dita have already been found out, and after reading the ending of this chapter, that's certainly not a good thing. The Agency certainly is not wasting any time in replacing them, or any expense for the replacement itself. Yet another twist to add to this growing, well-developing plot...

I saw no errors in the writing itself. I know I say this every chapter, but it wouldn't feel right otherwise. You and your beta certainly do a good job in scanning for errors!

Great chapter! Next time, I'll have to stave off the evil distractions to read (and review!) sooner. :)

(I hate to admit this, but when I first read the chapter title, it reminded me of spaghetti sauce. I have no idea why, but it's weird enough to mention I guess, and it's weird when thinking back on it. I must be getting crazier...)